Black Holes and Revelations

If there was one thing Mike wasn't expecting as he fumbled out of bed Friday morning and limped in the direction of the shower, it was for his phone to ring. And then, he really wasn't expecting it to be Billie, least of all asking if he'd mind him coming over.

It's terrifically true, Mike decided, that the best things in life are the ones you don't see coming.

Fucking on tour was good. Seeing as the alcohol flowed as fierce as Niagra Falls and shows kept the libido good and strong, it went passed helpful and straight into a blessing. The only problem was that the bunks were pretty cramped and alone time was brief and practically nonexistent. Hotels were an unlikely luxury considering the only time Pat arranged them were the occasions when family was scheduled to come out. . .

But the best times were in Mike's bed. There was more room than either of them knew what to do with, complete privacy, and a nice shower to use if needed. Not only that, but to Mike. . . it was just so damn nice to have another body in his bed. Especially one as smoking hot at Billie's.

And oh did he look good. . . spent from his orgasm, skin shining with sweat, gulping for air. He was beautiful, the most amazing thing Mike had ever seen, and he didn't want to stop touching him, ever.

So he didn't. He let his warm hands run over Billie Joe's warmer flesh. "God, Bill," Mike murmured, placing his palm over Billie's heart and feeling awed by the speed. "You'd think you've never came before."

Billie's laugh was breathless, and something else Mike couldn't recognize, and he looked at him, his eyes a paler green than usual. "Just feels like it's been awhile, I guess," he whispered.

"It has," the bassist agreed and kissed his lover, his own heart missing a beat when rough fingertips slid into his hair, running over his scalp. His lips lowered to the salty skin on Billie's smooth neck, and against it, he murmured, "I've missed you, Beej."

Billie exhaled, like a sigh but different, and nuzzled his face against Mike's damp hair. "Likewise. You know how it is, though, when we're home. . ."

"Yeah, of course." Mike felt a little guilty then, because Billie sounded guilty, and there wasn't a reason to. . . not at his expense anyway. He pressed a simple kiss to Billie Joe's swollen lips as an apology. "Home is good too, you know."

There was a hesitation before Billie's answering nod, and Mike's feeling that something was off with him deepened, if that was even possible. He knew the affair hit harder when they were off tour, but he couldn't remember the last time he had seen that pretty face so distracted. He allowed his fingers to stroke it, coaxing those green eyes back to him.

"Billie - what's wrong? I can tell something's up, dude."

It was so ridiculously clear that Billie Joe relaxed his expression on purpose, it dawned on Mike that the problem was much more serious than he had been thinking. Even the hand Billie smoothed over his hair couldn't stop the building, but quiet and well-known, panic. "No, just a lot on my mind, you know. Jase's party tomorrow night, the awards show Sunday, the free gig, then Thanksgiving's next week. . . Shit, you know, it's so much right now."

Mike knew. All of those things were going on in his life too, and he was more than aware of the stress that came with those things. But Billie was used to it by now, and he tended to handle it better than anyone out of all of the people involved with Green Day. So that meant it went further and Billie Joe didn't want to talk to him about whatever it was, which was bad since Billie normally told him everything. Mike wasn't afraid to admit he wasn't just scared - he was borderline terrified.

But pushing Billie would do nothing to help, and Mike had more than enough experience to know that. So instead of asking - demanding - anything more of his lover, Mike took to stroking Billie Joe's stubbly cheek with a small, goofy smile. "Know where you're coming from, babe. Try to relax, though, hm? Hate seeing you blue."

"Who could be blue with you around?" Billie murmured as he lifted his head to kiss Mike until each other was the only thing spinning through their heads, for the moment. Then he heaved a sigh and tucked his head under Mike's chin. "I better shower and split. . . I promised Jakob I'd help him with his science project."

"Like you know shit about science," Mike teased. Mostly so he wouldn't beg Billie not to go instead. "Go on and shower. I'll make some coffee for you to take, you look like you need some."

Billie Joe's smile was weak and nervous as he detached himself just enough for Mike to see it. "Uh. . . how about tea? Had enough coffee for today this morning."

The bassist's eyebrows furrowed quizzically, but he shrugged. "Sure. Think we spent a bit too much time in Europe this tour, though."

Having more time to think about it. . . Billie realized it was best if Mike prepared him nothing. "You know, thanks, Mikey, but I don't need coffee or tea or anything." After giving him another kiss, he pushed away the sheets and began to climb out of the large bed. "I appreciate it, though."

Mike's heart was pounding, and he was getting confused as to why now, that being why he was feeling lost at all. His hand shot out quickly and his fingers latched onto Billie's skinny wrist. He waited until green eyes were staring back into his to say, "I love you."

For a moment, the same feeling of being lost that Mike had flickered on Billie Joe's face, but with more intensity and more helplessness. Fear was in both their veins then. "I love you too," he whispered, and left the bed.