Complete Losers
Big Fat Vampire
Gerard's POV
I guess it's just my natural instinct to wake up when it's dark. That’s coz I'm a vampire, I sleep all day and prowl all night. But today is probably the only day I regret sleeping all day. Why? You ask; because it's my best friends’ birthday and I haven’t spent any time with her and her birthday is over in about 3 hours. Fuck she is going to murder me.
After getting dressed into my fab-u-lish Michael Jackson tee-shirt, Misfits hoodie and my extra extra extra extra extra tight pants and doing my make up I head out the door praying to god I don’t get killed in the next couple of hours.
I love night-time best time there ever is, unless for the ‘time’ when me and Tania tortured that skank Bert McCracken over at the cemetery. Oh Jevus, that was hilarious! Well that’ll teach him for attempting to rape me, stupid ape-prick.
“Mummmy! There's a big fat vampire across the road, aaaahhhh!’ A little girl screams breaking my train of thoughts. She got one thing correct, the ‘vampire’ part, but the cheeky bitch said I was ‘big and fat’.
“I vant to suuuuck youuurrr blloooood, muuwaaaaahaaaa” I shout at her, oh god you should see the look on her innocent pitiful face.
“Aaaaaahhhhh! Mummy help!!!!” she screams running away. “Heh” God-damnit Gerard you’re such a horrible person.
-Time Elapse-
*knocks on door*
*footsteps*
“Surprise HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” I sing once again praying to god she doesn’t murder me.
“Thank-you you’re such a good friend yah know, remembering when my birthday is over in about 3 hours” she says glancing down at her watch which she isn’t wearing.
“Look I'm sorry, you know what I'm like slash am” I apologize adding emphasis on the ‘slash am’ part.
“Slash am?” she questions with a confused look on her face.
“A vampire, duuh!” I say letting myself into her house.
“Yeah what ever you’re so immature Way. But I forgive you anyway, I'm not going to murder you or anything” By now we’re seated on her couch.
“Phew well that’s good to hear, ive been stressing about it all the way here” I sigh.
“And as you should have been. But anyway have you got me a present big bum?”
“Yep I have”
“Well what is it then?” she asks.
“It's a surprise you’ll find out in the next week or two”
“Nehr!!! Just make sure it isn’t one of those posters of Zac Effron that you’ve masturbated over!” she says and I give her a quick hug. “Don’t worry it isn’t”
“Well what are we going to do for the next 3 hours?” she asks yawning a bit. What the fuck shes tired! I'm like soooo wide awake!
“Why are you yawning?” I sneer.
“Uh because I'm tired” she replies
“And why are you tired? You’re supposed to be a vampire, and clearly vampires don’t get tired at NIGHT!” I say giving her a disappointed look.
“I'm tired because I masturbated over Hayley Williams today and I HAD TO FUCKING WORK BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER CALLED IN ‘SICK’” she scowls making the bunny ear signs in the air.
‘Well that’s not my problem. I don’t even think he was home today”
“How the hell would you know when your fat ass was asleep aaaallll day!?”
“Whatever, so what do you wanna do?” I ask staring at the eye make up she’s wearing, or rather eye make up she’s not wearing.
“Why aren’t you wearing any eye make up!?” I cut in my eye suddenly starts to twitch at how un-gothic/vampirish she’s being. I look like a rehab patient.
“Because I couldn’t be bothered putting any on goddamnit! You should be treating me nicely on my birthday big bum!” she shouts giving me the nastiest look which reminds me of Severus Snape.
“You should be disappointed in yourself. Anyway lets just watch a movie”
I guess it's just my natural instinct to wake up when it's dark. That’s coz I'm a vampire, I sleep all day and prowl all night. But today is probably the only day I regret sleeping all day. Why? You ask; because it's my best friends’ birthday and I haven’t spent any time with her and her birthday is over in about 3 hours. Fuck she is going to murder me.
After getting dressed into my fab-u-lish Michael Jackson tee-shirt, Misfits hoodie and my extra extra extra extra extra tight pants and doing my make up I head out the door praying to god I don’t get killed in the next couple of hours.
I love night-time best time there ever is, unless for the ‘time’ when me and Tania tortured that skank Bert McCracken over at the cemetery. Oh Jevus, that was hilarious! Well that’ll teach him for attempting to rape me, stupid ape-prick.
“Mummmy! There's a big fat vampire across the road, aaaahhhh!’ A little girl screams breaking my train of thoughts. She got one thing correct, the ‘vampire’ part, but the cheeky bitch said I was ‘big and fat’.
“I vant to suuuuck youuurrr blloooood, muuwaaaaahaaaa” I shout at her, oh god you should see the look on her innocent pitiful face.
“Aaaaaahhhhh! Mummy help!!!!” she screams running away. “Heh” God-damnit Gerard you’re such a horrible person.
-Time Elapse-
*knocks on door*
*footsteps*
“Surprise HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” I sing once again praying to god she doesn’t murder me.
“Thank-you you’re such a good friend yah know, remembering when my birthday is over in about 3 hours” she says glancing down at her watch which she isn’t wearing.
“Look I'm sorry, you know what I'm like slash am” I apologize adding emphasis on the ‘slash am’ part.
“Slash am?” she questions with a confused look on her face.
“A vampire, duuh!” I say letting myself into her house.
“Yeah what ever you’re so immature Way. But I forgive you anyway, I'm not going to murder you or anything” By now we’re seated on her couch.
“Phew well that’s good to hear, ive been stressing about it all the way here” I sigh.
“And as you should have been. But anyway have you got me a present big bum?”
“Yep I have”
“Well what is it then?” she asks.
“It's a surprise you’ll find out in the next week or two”
“Nehr!!! Just make sure it isn’t one of those posters of Zac Effron that you’ve masturbated over!” she says and I give her a quick hug. “Don’t worry it isn’t”
“Well what are we going to do for the next 3 hours?” she asks yawning a bit. What the fuck shes tired! I'm like soooo wide awake!
“Why are you yawning?” I sneer.
“Uh because I'm tired” she replies
“And why are you tired? You’re supposed to be a vampire, and clearly vampires don’t get tired at NIGHT!” I say giving her a disappointed look.
“I'm tired because I masturbated over Hayley Williams today and I HAD TO FUCKING WORK BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER CALLED IN ‘SICK’” she scowls making the bunny ear signs in the air.
‘Well that’s not my problem. I don’t even think he was home today”
“How the hell would you know when your fat ass was asleep aaaallll day!?”
“Whatever, so what do you wanna do?” I ask staring at the eye make up she’s wearing, or rather eye make up she’s not wearing.
“Why aren’t you wearing any eye make up!?” I cut in my eye suddenly starts to twitch at how un-gothic/vampirish she’s being. I look like a rehab patient.
“Because I couldn’t be bothered putting any on goddamnit! You should be treating me nicely on my birthday big bum!” she shouts giving me the nastiest look which reminds me of Severus Snape.
“You should be disappointed in yourself. Anyway lets just watch a movie”
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry I didnt update yesterday. I went shopping.And sorry this isnt the most interesting chapter, a filler i suppose?
Anyway thanks for all the comments!
xoxo