Wouldn't It Be Nice To Wake Up With You

Goodbye Skyline

Jen's POV+

"Hey, guys...." I said hesitantly, smiling as genuinely as possible. I peered back over to Ben, trying to find my courage in his grin, "Good to see you all...."

"What the hell?" Pete sputtered, wide eyed and gaping at me.

"Uhm," I rubbed my hands and fidgetted with my fingers, "Ben wanted me to just say hi and that we're sitting over there, so if you want to join us," I waved my hand at our booth and started walking back towards Ben and PJ. Peej slid out and let me in between the two of them. Peter and Patrick sat with us while Andy and Joe sat with Anth and Nash. Gabe walked in and saw me. He waved with a grim smile and went to eat with the others. I leaned my head down unto my hands and sighed.

"Okay, how about we start from the beginning, alright Jen?" Ben rubbed my back, "Patrick, Pete, I think we need to clear up as much as we can about this enigma. I want everyone to be open-minded and to leave your anger at the door. Otherwise, I've got a feeling that she'll be staying with me longer than any of us expect."

I looked up and rested my skull on my weary arms, "I think I should start from where ever Peter left you off, Patrick..."

"We left off on me finding out you two slept with each other," he muttered coldly, not making eye contact and playing with the salt shaker, "Anything else I should know?"

"I saw both of you last night, before you all left early... it was also last night I decided it was best to come clean about everything... well, I didn't really decide," I moved my head to look at Ben who was smiling genuinely at me while stroking my back. Oddly enough, his touch kept me mostly calm.

"So Ben's band and myself headed back for the states from Ireland. I stayed with Ben at his house for a couple of days until he told me we were heading out here to LA for a few gigs and videos. I thought nothing of it really, just me spending time away from my own life. Little did I know that the whole band knew that all of you would be at the MTV party. "

Last Night

Before we went to the MTV party, Ben and Nash drove me to a hair salon. I decided that I wanted to switch up my plain look. What ended up happening is my hair was cut off and layered with red highlightings everywhere. They both convinced me to just wear the school outfit so I could help promote the single for Williamsburg.

I was peering down at the mini plaid skirt, vest and white blouse on the bed. A pair of thigh high socks laid to the side with a pair of Mary Janes on the floor beneath them. I played with the ends of my hair as I contemplated if I really wanted to walk outside looking like a potential pornstar.

"Of all cities, I think I will be most welcomed in LA, really," I tried to convince myself. I was not one for conservative clothing, but I also wasn't one to dress provocatively. I shook my head and started to strip. I put on a white tank top and some short shorts to make myself feel better and started to put on my uniform. I looked at the door mirror and sighed. Way to look like a harujuku girl..

I applied light eyeshadow and lipstick. I pulled out a bag with some jewlery in it and started to have flashbacks. Patrick had bought me this necklace when we were on our way to Frank's wedding. It was a locket that held lyrics he had written for me when we got engaged. Underneath, I found the bracelet that Pete had made while we were on tour. They were all little trinkets; the Monster drink tabs, the penny with a heart-shaped hole, the little beads that spelled "Pandas Best Friend".... I put both to the side.

I tried to zip my bag shut again, but Ben had gone on a shopping spree with me while we were still in Ireland. I dumped my bag and started to pack again, but I stopped when I saw that I had some how gained a black fedora. How in the world did I get this? I shook my head and put the fedora on. Ben must have bought it with the rest of the stuff. I sat on the luggage bag and zipped it back up.

"Hey Jen, you done in there? We gotta go.. " Benjamin's muffled voice came from the other side of the hotel door.

"Yeah I'm good, give me a second," I turned around to get the bracelet and necklace, but could only find the bracelet. Frowning, I went back in my jewelry bag, but found only my celtic cross my mother gave me. I put it on instead with the bracelet and walked out the door.

"You make me wish our relationship was real wearing that.." Ben held me by the hips and looked me over.

"Keep it in your pants, Jorgensen," I giggled as we walked down the hall hand in hand.

"I can barely tell it's you anymore with your hair all different and you wearing that fedora."

"Did you buy this for me?"

He pressed the down button for the elevator, "Actually, I thought I bought one for myself, but it looks better on you."

We got in and descended,"Thanks babe. I think it works with the black vest."

"It works with the sex appeal. You'll have all the boys begging for you at the party."

We walked through the lobby and out to the black Suburban SUV that the boys used to travel around in. Their instruments were hooked to the back in a little white trailer. I sat up front with their manager as the boys practiced and talked about their setup for the MTV Party. I was instructed to carry around the small Nikon camcorder and pass out flyers for their next U.S. tour. Once we pulled into the valet parking, Ben opened my door and we all filed out of the SUV.

Anthony pushed my fedora down and smiled, "Lighten up, Jen. No one is going to jump you."

I tried to breathe a little easier as we headed to the elevators for the fourth floor for this MTV premier party. As the doors slid open, the darkness blinded me and the bass of the music radiated through my body. The boys went towards the stage and waited for their equipment to be brought up from downstairs. I looked about the room at the faces I recognized and many faces I didn't know. Most of them were people I had met through Fall Out Boy, friends of Patrick and Peter. My heart started to ache as I remembered once again the boys I loved so much. I glared at the ground for concentration. I was here to move on and to take a moment away from that disaster. My eyes adjusted to the dim-lit area and I went on to search for Ben. He had my camera and I was to follow him and Nash around for their vlog entry.

"Hey, babe? How about you go do some mingling and get some shoutouts for the band. I'll find you in a couple minutes while we do a quick soundcheck." Ben handed me the small shiny black camcorder and hugged me tightly. He always knew when I was having a mental dispute.

I flipped the camera on and used its light to navigate the crowd. People smiled at me and danced to the music. I moved behind some of the pillars to see others playing video games like Mario Kart and Guitar Hero. That's when I saw him. He was standing there in his usual jeans and a hoodie, grinning and mischief carrying in his posture.

My Peter.

I walked passed him, bumping into him for him to say sorry and then go back to his conversation. He didn't recognize me. Instantly, I felt relief and disappointment. I searched the area for any of the other boys. Soon enough, I found Patrick sitting on a couch, talking to others. He kept scratching his right sideburn and adjusted his glasses every so often. He wasn't smiling though. I felt I was to blame for the lack of his usual energy at these events. I kept looking at him, but he didn't look back. I kept filming and walking around; people would stop me to yell out a few praises for Armor For Sleep. Finally, I turned off the camcorder and stepped out to the small concrete balcony overlooking the downtown area. Arms slid around my waist and pulled me into a hug. I knew that comfortable, firm hug anywhere.

"You done warming up, Ben?"

"Yup. All done. I'm all yours now."

I turned around and handed him the camcorder. He took one look at me and frowned, "What's up, buttercup?"

"Ben, they're here. Why are they here?"

Then I saw it in his quick facial change that he knew they were going to be here. I didn't know if I should slap him or to listen to him explain himself.

"You have ten seconds to tell me what's going on; why didn't you tell me Pete and 'Trick would be at this event?"

"I sincerely did not know if they would show up or not. This means they'll be here tomorrow for the music video shooting. There was the possibility, but I thought you ready to take care of this fiasco. Did they even notice you?"

"Well, no."

"Then you still have your option. You can face this drama and fear to settle this wounded battle, or you can leave. Either way, I am going to be with you until you can walk this on your own."

Damn his charismatic personality. After a little time, I finally decided to stay, but I told him firmly I didn't want to try to start anything tonight. So he smiled and nodded, handing me the camcorder again and setting me up close enough to tape the boys performing a couple songs off of the new album Smile For The Camera. "Williamsburg" had the whole crowd dancing and headbanging while "Hold the Door" had everyone listening intently. They did such an amazing job and I was thrilled to be a part of their experience. After packing back up, Nash took the camera to look over the filming and so he could do a bit of talking himself. I walked around, talking with new people while Ben held onto me by the shoulder. He made sure never to leave my side.

A few hours passed until Pete walked up with Patrick to congratulate Ben. I turned my body and face to look like I was part of a different conversation while they laughed and talked with each other. The two seemed to be getting along fine with each other. Maybe Patrick didn't know what happened between Pete and I. The thoughts made me feel dizzy and light-headed. I grabbed Ben's hand and laid my head on his shoulder after the duo walked off to talk to other attendees.

"What's up, Jen?"

"I think I'm just tired."

"We can take one of the SUVs back to the hotel. We'll have to ride with the music equipment though."

"That's fine: anything to get back to a place where I can lay down, Benjamin."

He let Nash know and led me to the elevator doors. I glanced over to Patrick and Peter and once again, no recognition. As if our years together as friends didn't happen. As if our lives never ran the same course for those moments. As if I never existed.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yes, I know.

I have been gone for too long. Sincerely, too long. I don't even know where I was going with this, but I think I know where I am going to go with it now. This love rectangle is going to be destroyed . If anyone is reading this still, I need to know if I should keep or scrap this poor story.

-Jenny