Status: I shall be randomly updating this whenever.
Lost Within Myself
What Else Is There?
I always wondered what normal people dreamt of. The kind where you could control and make whatever you want happen. There was such a wide margin of which people could dream up, that it was insane and mind-blowing to me. Every night before I go to bed I wish I could control my dreams. To be the one calling all the shots. It made me think about all the wonderous possibilities that came with being in charge. The idea was impossible for me though.
For a while I thought they were just hallucinations or delusions. I avoided calling them nightmares at all cost. When I even think of or hear the word, that's all that intrudes my mind for weeks to come. The images projected within my mind were like none I could ever recall seeing before. They were so heinous and revolting, that I just wanted them to end altogether. All the wishing in the world would never stop them though.
They were all I've ever known and would ever know. My dreams prohibited me from fraternizing with others. It was the only thing that was ever consistent in my life. If anything ever happened to my grandparents, all I would have left are my dreams. Which that in itself, is one of the scariest thoughts ever to occupy my mind.
Despite the fact that my dreams where all I've ever really known, I have a feeling that I would never be able to deal with them alone. My grams listened to me every so often to give me advice to try to deal with my dreams once and for all. Her advice never worked, but it made me feel all the more better knowing she was trying to help me out. My grandpa was more of the silent type. I only went to him when I just needed someone to listen to me. I couldn't stand some of the things people said to me sometimes, especially when it concerned my dreams. That made things all the more complicated and frustrating for me. Resulting in dreadful dreams that seemed never-ending.
I just want a way out, but I don't know what I would do if I ever found a solution. What else is there? Besides dreams to immerse in.
For a while I thought they were just hallucinations or delusions. I avoided calling them nightmares at all cost. When I even think of or hear the word, that's all that intrudes my mind for weeks to come. The images projected within my mind were like none I could ever recall seeing before. They were so heinous and revolting, that I just wanted them to end altogether. All the wishing in the world would never stop them though.
They were all I've ever known and would ever know. My dreams prohibited me from fraternizing with others. It was the only thing that was ever consistent in my life. If anything ever happened to my grandparents, all I would have left are my dreams. Which that in itself, is one of the scariest thoughts ever to occupy my mind.
Despite the fact that my dreams where all I've ever really known, I have a feeling that I would never be able to deal with them alone. My grams listened to me every so often to give me advice to try to deal with my dreams once and for all. Her advice never worked, but it made me feel all the more better knowing she was trying to help me out. My grandpa was more of the silent type. I only went to him when I just needed someone to listen to me. I couldn't stand some of the things people said to me sometimes, especially when it concerned my dreams. That made things all the more complicated and frustrating for me. Resulting in dreadful dreams that seemed never-ending.
I just want a way out, but I don't know what I would do if I ever found a solution. What else is there? Besides dreams to immerse in.
♠ ♠ ♠
The next one will probably be an actual dream. I hope this isn't too boring. I'm trying to get through with all this introductory crap fast so I can get to the good stuff. If you have any ideas or suggestions for me, I'd be happy to hear about them. Thanks for reading. :D