The Secrets of Billie Joe Armstrong

Three months had passed since Ollie had found out the news.

She had made a number of appointments with doctors and they said all was going entirely well. Andy couldn't hide his delight.

As much as they weren't ready for the baby, they still loved each other enough to want to have it.

Andy was on his way to pick her up and take her to her gynecologists appointment. They were probably her least favourite check ups, and she cringed when she thought of her nakedness in front of the doctors. But, unfortunately, it was unavoidable. It had been ages since she'd last seen her parents and Ollie was starting to get used to the concept of living alone.

After waiting ten minutes, Ollie started to get frustrated with Andy. Where was he? He knew she liked to be at every appointment at least five minutes early. Now she was five minutes late. Ollie decided to call him and express her annoyance.

It rang once... Twice... Three times... Four times... Five times... Six times... Seven times... Eight times... Voice mail...

She hung up and tried again but got the same answer.

Eventually ten minutes turned into twenty, and then twenty to thirty and thirty to forty. Quite obviously he'd forgotten her and she was fuming. She called his home number and his mother, Angela answered.

"Oh, hello Angela, I was wondering if Andy was there?"

"Why, no dear, he should be with you. He left ages ago."

"He didn't show. Are you sure he left?" Ollie's stomach twisted and turned and she started to feel uneasy. What had happened? Where was her boyfriend? The father of her baby?

"Certain. I'm worried. Maybe we should start looking? It's been a few hours?" Angela suggested.

But Ollie didn't need to. She walked past the T.V. and the image on the 5.00 afternoon news told her everything. She dropped the phone and tears leaked from her eyes uncontrollably. Ollie picked up the phone and spoke calmly to Angela through her tears. Angela turned on the television and she too burst into sobs.

Andy had died.

Andy had died coming to pick her up.

Ollie couldn't do anything. She didn't move. She heard a knock on the door, a familiar knock and she knew it was Grace. Grace obviously had found out the news. Ollie couldn't bring up a baby on her own. It was hers and Andy's. They were looking forward to the child being born, and now he'd never live to see the baby's face. Ollie ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. This was her last way out, and the only way.

Grace's knocking turned from gracious to impatient to worried. Grace started to call out, fearing for the worst. Ollie hovered the knife flimsily over her wrist. This was the only way to manage. This was the only way. Ollie heard the door burst open as she dug the knife deep into her clean flesh. She bought it along her wrist long ways and immediately the blood poured and poured out. Ollie started feeling dizzy and limp. She repositioned the knife and pulled it across her flesh again. This time she screamed out in pain and felt herself dropping to the ground and clutching her stomach.

The last thing she heard was Grace's deafening scream and then everything turned black.