Codename: Loser

Lunch was stupid, as usual. It started out with the meal itself. I was in line all jittery and stuff because I had it in my mind that it wasa lasagna day, and for some creepy reason their lasagna and garlic bread is good. So I thought my lunch was going to be good. Eat and chat it up with Thomas and them. But so far the line was moving slowly, and it was really aggravating me 'cause I wanted to get in there and get my blasted lasagna! I shouffled my feet and looked impatiently at the door where the line comes out. Nobody had a lunch. The most somebody had was a fork. Looking back on today that should have been a warning in itself, but hey I was confident that lunch was lasagna.

Big Mistake

I walked into the serving area and saw, not lasagna, but something not even EDIBLE. I stared at the cooking dishes filled with things not even a horror fic author could describe. Just looking at the food made my face twist up. I'm pretty sure that looking at this food has made my face resemble Quasimoto. Suddenly one of the dishes of food started bubbling in one area and a tentacle of some sort whipped out and slithered back in to the dish. Oh my god!

"What the hell?!" I yelled jumping back.

One of the lunchladies looked at me as if I were one of these nasty dishes, "Do you want anything or not?" she asked in a bored, annoyed tone.

I shook my head so fast I guess it looked like it wasn't even moving. I ran for dear life out of that serving line and to where that FoodMonster couldn't get me. Everybody was staring at me as I ran and tried to find where Thomas and the others were sitting. They weren't sitting anywhere, because they weren't even there! I stopped and looked around. All of the otheres were staring at me and whispering. Oh, great. Now I'm even more or a Loser. Dejected, I went and sat by myselfat any empty table.

When I looked up I got sorta happier because The Gays came in for lunch. And also The Guys Who Look Straight cam in following the other Gays. The Gays were flamboyant and chatting loudly with that exaggeration only Gays could have. The Guys Who Look Straight just lolled around. I noticed that The Gays were wearing neon pink wigs, with very tight skinny jeans and V-neck shirts with big fashion sunglasses. The Guys Who Look Straight just dressed like normal men. All of the Gays were walking toward me, which I didn't mind since I was friends with them. Immedeatly two of them bounded to me already chatting. I smiled. They can always make your day rock. Everyone of them had a packed lunch. Did they know about the discusting lunch we were going to have today?

"Did you guys know that we were having melted monsters for lunch today?" I asked one who was hispanic. Every Gay had a nickname, and his was Rico Suave.

"Yes," he answered wiping off his lip gloss as to not get it on his food, "Everyone should have known today was lunch ladies choice."

Here's the thing about "Lunch Ladies Choice" or "Surprise Lunch" or whatever your school might call it. Basically, it a lunch made of everything of all the days prior. Like "Maccoroni Casserole" consists of every meat from all the lunches thus far mixed with boxes of maccoroni found in the back of the shelf where there's a happy little spider neighborhood. And "Jell-O Cups" fool a lot of people huh? Thats made of freshly choosen fruits from the cups of yesterday. And you glug it all down with 2 day old milk.

"Yuck." I said too Rico.

"Mhm." He replied puckering his lips at his reflection. Once more, I looked over all of the Gays apperal, who happened to almost be looking identical to each other.

"Why are you guys dressed up?" I asked. My stomach growled.

"It's Jeffree Star Day. Duh." An asian replied. I looked infront of me. There sat a boy with a neon pink wig too but had a cat ear head band placed on top his. He gave me a cheshire cat smile and winked. This boys name was Nekoko, and he was very much so like a cat. He had an identical twin brother named Jet-Li, nicknamed so becasue quote, "he can pound an ass." They were my friends too but it scared me because they both had a crush on me. At the same time I noticed Jet-Li wasnt sitting with us. So I started looking around for him.

"He isnt here." Nekoko said with a smirk on his pink lips. It was then that I noticed he dusted his cheeks with a glittery blush.

"Oh... Why?" I asked.

"He's sick." His smirk got wider and he stared at me intensley.

Suddenly I felt nervous and uneasy.

"Where's your lunch...?" Nekoko asked in a bored tone, while still smirking.

"Uhm, I didn't bring any..." Out of the corner of my eye I could see Rico try not to start laughing. He shifted so that he was facing the other way.

"Well," Nekoko asked, "Would you," His smirked even more, "Like something to -licks lips- eat?"

Upon hearing that my spit slipped into my windpipe and I started choking. Rico was the first to blow. He was laughing so hard tears were starting to form. Nekoko followed in a few seconds later laughing just as hard. In the midst of all this I'm choking on my spit! After clearing my throat and waiting for those two to calm down I said,

"That's not funny. I could have died."

"But you didnt amigo." Rico said flipping his neon wig.

"Oh Em Gee. The look on your face was like- I don't even know! But it was hella funny! BWAHAHA." Nekoko blared.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "You guys are so stupid." I mumbled.

Nekoko looked my way and said in a real smile, "No really though, would you like something to eat? I have plenty of chow mein to be able to share with you."

I nodded my head dumbly as my stomach growled again. Nekoko took the lid off of his plate and used his unused chopsticks to splat some noodles onto the lid. Then he pushed the lid my way. I said thanks to Nekoko and thanks to Rico for handing me a fork. I looked down at the brownish noodles with veggies popping out here and there. Finally I reached in and took a bite. If only life were this good. immedeatly I was feasting like never before and it was only a matter of time before all the noodles were gone (Naruto moment much?). I looked up and Rico and Nekoko were staring at me.

"Man," Rico said, "I wish my mom popped me out of her vajayjay that fast."

Nekoko nodded in agreement. That was basically the end of the good part of lunch. You know why? Cause then The Populars entered the cafeteria.

It would have been normal, and humanly, to just get your food and sit down upon entering a cafeteria, but They come in like how Zeus probably would. Cliff, The Jock Leader (all hail!) flipped his golden hair as he strutted in with red head Krissy latched onto his arm. The other Jocks had girls too but would probably have a new one by tomorrow. But Gods cant just have girls, They've got to come to lunch when the sun's in the right alignment with the windows as to give Them the perfect lighting and halos. And because They're Gods you HAVE to stop whatever you're doing and look at them. This includes eating, talking, jacking off, or whatever the hell else you're doing, to put your eyes on Their slow-motion entrence or it's off with your head!

And as if to make matters worse Krissy whispers something to Cliff and points (because she's Popular nobody tells her that's rude) so that he looks over to where I'm sitting. He started weaving his way to me. And like the pack of wolves they probably were, the other Jocks followed him.

The next thing I know, Krissy is sitting diagonally from me and Cliff is sitting next to me, and the other Jocks are down the table.

"Hey Andy!" Krissy chripped. I saw Nekoko begin staring at her in discust.

"Yeah, hey Alpha." Cliff said in his stupid 'higher than thou' voice.

Krissy pouted, "His name is Andy."

Cliff ignored her, "Hey Gays, what's up?" and like he did to Krissy, they ignored him. "So, what's been up?" Cliff asked me.

I looked up at him. What's been up? Why the hell are you over here and talking to me? That's what's up. But instead I said, "Nothing."

"Oh. Well you know the Football Smash Party is at my house this year and Krissy wanted me to invite you." He looked like he didn't want to invite me, and probably didnt but the question is why did Krissy? I could see Rico cutting his neck with his hand and saying no.

I looked at Krissy and said, "No thanks."

She dropped her eyes and frowned.

Suddenly I felt annoyed. Why the hell should I go to the party? I'm not one of those Normal Freshmen dweebs who shoot cops just to go to Football Smash. I looked up at Cliff and he was pretty happy with my response. Well so was I.

"But Andy you have to come!" Krissy whined.

I stared, "I don't have to do anything."

I could sense that people didnt usually talk to her like this. Well whatever. No matter what class she's in she's still human.

She stared back at me, "We're just being nice."

"I know. And I'm just saying No thank you. I don't want to go to your party."

Krissy looked sort of hurt. I almost felt bad. Almost.

"Well," I continued, "I've gotta finnish eating soo we'll talk about this," Never, "Later."

Cliff nodded his head and when he and Krissy got up so did all the other Jocks. When They finnished their glorious exit Rico spoke,

"They're, like, such asswipes. How the fuck does CLIFF make Krissy come? He must be mistaking her pee for vaginal fluids, becuse that's just not right."

I laughed getting the joke. Nekoko didnt understand, he looked confused, "Why would it be pee?"

We just stared at him and laughed harder. Gays make everybody happier.