Locked Away

Will sat at the edge of the couch where I was stretched out. He was massaging my feet, and his mom was in my bathroom taking a shower. My hands rested on my tummy, and it felt like the baby was kickboxing.

"Hold on, Will," I said.

He let go of my feet and I sat up.

"Baby kicking?" he asked.

"Probably," I said, panting.

"Or maybe they're contractions. You are almost due."

"Oh, please don't say that," I begged.

Valerie's water stopped running. Mine started.

"Oh, God, my water broke!" I shrieked.

Valerie came speeding from the bathroom in a t-shirt and jeans. My pajama pants were soaked and I was in excruciating pain.

"Will, call 911!" Valerie ordered.

He got up running. I was told to breathe deeply and close my eyes. Will came back without the phone.

"They said get to the hospital NOW!!!" he yelled.

We ran out to the car, and Will decided to drive. We got there in what seemed like four hours, but was really only eight minutes. I was taken to the delivery floor, where people shouted things like:

"She's in labor!"

"Her water already broke!"

"Hurry!"

I couldn't take the pain, but I wanted to deliver this baby without meds. The nurse told me, unfortunately, I would have to get a C-section. I accepted this reluctantly and closed my eyes while they did the procedure. It was a little painful, but I wanted more. I wish I could have just delivered it normally, just because I felt it was right.

"It's a girl!" someone shouted.

I cried out and looked at her. The OB/GYN popped her butt and my baby started wailing. She was immediately placed in my arms and I began sobbing. My baby girl, all my own. She was not safe inside of her mommy anymore, she was in the dangerous world. My time was short, because the nurses said something about needing to take her and needing to take care of me. I kissed her sweaty red head and let her go.