Status: Finished
Locked Away
I Love You's Are Always Painful
"Lisa?"
Crap. He was home.
"Up here, babe!" I answered.
I silently prayed for him to be in a good mood. His pounding footsteps were coming closer to me. All I could do was hold my breath and wait.
"There you are!" he exclaimed, scooping me up into his arms.
He pushed our bodies together in a bear hug. I knew his stupid apology was coming up and I was wanting to get it over with.
"Baby, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day. I love you. Tonight I will make it up to you, and I think you know what that means,"he said.
Yeah, I did know what it meant. I knew that he would say this next:
"Get dressed up, but in something I can get you out of quickly."
After he said this, he left the room. I sank to the floor sobbing, wishing for everything to be a bad nightmare I could wake up if only I would open my eyes. If only I had opened my eyes.
I had to get ready or else it would mean another month of wearing heavy eye makeup on one eye to match the bruise on the other eye. I curled my hair, slipped on a short black dress, and put on just enough makeup. I was probably going to cry it off anyhow.
"Come on! You don't have to be perfect!" he called up the stairs.
"The hell I don't,"I thought about saying.
"Here I come!" I shouted instead.
His plan was to take me to a nice restaurant. My stomach couldn't hold anything bigger than a small salad, so that's what I ordered. A rare, bloody steak was given to the animal I called my boyfriend. Then, he planned to take me home and "make it up to me." If he paid me maybe I'd be more willing.
Of course, he refused to wear a condom. Again. But I didn't say a word. I never could.
As he showered, I tiptoed to the guest bedroom closet. The packed suitcase still sat there unopened. It was there for emergencies, but I often thought of taking it with me to some place where Ryan could never find me, even if he was acting okay. Everytime he said he loved me, pain crippled my whole body, and it choked me to tell him that I loved him too. Emergency? All the time.
But now wasn't the time to escape.
Crap. He was home.
"Up here, babe!" I answered.
I silently prayed for him to be in a good mood. His pounding footsteps were coming closer to me. All I could do was hold my breath and wait.
"There you are!" he exclaimed, scooping me up into his arms.
He pushed our bodies together in a bear hug. I knew his stupid apology was coming up and I was wanting to get it over with.
"Baby, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day. I love you. Tonight I will make it up to you, and I think you know what that means,"he said.
Yeah, I did know what it meant. I knew that he would say this next:
"Get dressed up, but in something I can get you out of quickly."
After he said this, he left the room. I sank to the floor sobbing, wishing for everything to be a bad nightmare I could wake up if only I would open my eyes. If only I had opened my eyes.
I had to get ready or else it would mean another month of wearing heavy eye makeup on one eye to match the bruise on the other eye. I curled my hair, slipped on a short black dress, and put on just enough makeup. I was probably going to cry it off anyhow.
"Come on! You don't have to be perfect!" he called up the stairs.
"The hell I don't,"I thought about saying.
"Here I come!" I shouted instead.
His plan was to take me to a nice restaurant. My stomach couldn't hold anything bigger than a small salad, so that's what I ordered. A rare, bloody steak was given to the animal I called my boyfriend. Then, he planned to take me home and "make it up to me." If he paid me maybe I'd be more willing.
Of course, he refused to wear a condom. Again. But I didn't say a word. I never could.
As he showered, I tiptoed to the guest bedroom closet. The packed suitcase still sat there unopened. It was there for emergencies, but I often thought of taking it with me to some place where Ryan could never find me, even if he was acting okay. Everytime he said he loved me, pain crippled my whole body, and it choked me to tell him that I loved him too. Emergency? All the time.
But now wasn't the time to escape.