Makin' Me Fall In Love Again

The strange sensation of conversation rung in my ears as I took my first step into my apartment. It was my room-mate's voice, but what the hell was she doing up at nine in the morning? She worked a third shift job, meaning she'd fall asleep as soon as she got home at around 8:00 AM and snooze the rest of her day away. We had a visitor, I surmised.

Quietly, I nudged the door shut and sat my armful of groceries on the counter.

"He is... perfect." I heard Hannah say quietly, but by the ring of her voice I could tell she was smiling wide.

Desperate to know what man of the day she was obsessing over, I followed her voice into the living room. The image hit me like a brick wall and I stopped mid-step.

"Cris..." I gasped, trying to make sense of all of this.

Cris, as in Cristiano Ronaldo, looked up to me and let the pre-existing sparkle on his face remain. It had been four months since I had seen him last, and I realized then that I wasn't immune to his beauty anymore, now that it didn't belong strictly to me. I had to remind myself not to stare.

"Um, hi." I chirped once I came to, and he seemed relieved that the bitterness in my voice from our last encounter didn't persist.

"Hello." was all he said, glancing back and forth between Hannah and I.

I remembered that she was also in the room and dreaded the idea. Have you ever had a partner that your parents could never get over, and no matter how much you could justify your break-up, they still seemed to prefer them over anyone that you ever brought home? Well, Cristiano was that man, and Hannah posed as my over-bearing parents in this situation. I remembered once, her even telling me that I would never get anyone as good as Cristiano, not because I wasn't good enough, but because a man as good as Cristiano didn't exist. The fact that he knocked someone up while we were dating didn't seem to be a factor in Hannah's evaluation of our break-up. My excuse for not channeling my annoyance through a swift kick in the ass was that she was younger than me, and never really had anything past a two month series of over-night rendezvous.

"I'm gonna go sleep, I'm trippin' balls right now." she said while yawning.

"Still so graceful with words, I see" Cris joked and ruffled her hair as she stood up.

Just as I began wondering who she had addressed as perfect, she stopped in front of me and I noticed something in her arms. It was wrapped in a plush blue blanket and began moving.

"What the hell?" I sniped, letting my face furrow with confusion until it registered in my mind what that was in her arms.

It was a baby, none other than Cristiano's. She passed it to my ready arms and patted me on the shoulder.

"See ya, Ronaldo." she beckoned and trudged wearily to our room.

Yes, we had to share a room. After Cris and I separated, I couldn't afford rent through my meek salary so Hannah offered to let me stay with her. The couch wasn't suitable for someone to sleep on, and considering it would be a long term affair she rearranged the room to fit two beds. I wasn't about to tell Cristiano that, but I'm sure he could gather it on his own.

For the time being, I couldn't speak. I had a baby in my arms whose face seemed to mesmerize me. He was beautiful, with perfect skin and a head of thick, dark curls. His eyes were shut but I could easily associate his fathers eye-color to him. I loved this baby immediately, it was a feeling that I hadn't felt since my sister had her baby years ago. I couldn't fathom why I loved him so much, I just did.

"I should have been his mother." I whispered hoarsely in my struggle to not cry.

My stance was beginning to get shaky so I took a seat on the couch diagonal from where Cris was seated.

"I know, I wish you were." Cristiano replied. "But that's over. Come home."

I took a minute to respond. There was so many things that I could say to that, but I would settle with short and not so sweet.

"No. I know who you are now, and I don't like it at all."

"No you don't!" he exclaimed, becoming annoyed. "You don't know who I am anymore. If you think that having a son hasn't changed me, then you're awfully wrong."

"Congratulations on your son." was what I said to that, but he wasn't quite ready to change the subject.

"Do you like it here, Maral? Do you like sharing a room with Hannah? And do you like it when she brings boys home and you have to sleep on this charming sofa?"

He smacked the torn floral fabric of our couch.

"Don't tease my couch!" I hollered. "And I don't sleep on our charming sofa when she brings boys home."

He cringed at what I said immediately but it took me a minute to fathom his reaction.

"Oh!" I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I meant, idiot."

He smirked but things soon became serious again.

"Maral, come home. Don't you hate living like this?"

I looked around; It didn't seem so bad until I compared it with the life that Cristiano lived. By then it seemed like a shit hole.

"You do, I can tell."

"Are you really bribing me with money? Do you think I care about money?!" I boomed, but soon calmed myself when the baby began to stir.

"No, no." he said, rubbing my leg in circles to calm me. "Forget that. Just...."

He stared into space, the space being the mess of my apartment. I really hated him even seeing this place.

A light bulb flickered over his ridiculously glossy locks and he crouched on the floor directly in front of me.

"I've already apologized a million times. You know I am sorry, and if you ever come back to me I will never be unfaithful again. I've changed, and your know it."

He leaned forward, straightening his legs so he was close enough to be level with me. With one reach he moved his hand along my arm until it found it's place on my back, and with the other he pressed his lips against mine.

The kiss was only for a second, but still deep and passionate enough that I considered leaning into it until the baby stirred in my embrace. His lips felt great on mine, like a natural thing that I needed to survive but had gone without for far too long. He pulled away just enough that our lips were separated but our foreheads still touching.

"Doesn't this feel right? Really think, Maral. This is what you want."

His other hand found its place on my back and he held me firmly, leaving enough room between us for the baby.

I did just as he said and thought hard, but the answer came to me soon. The smell of him was a fantastic sensation to revisit my nose and his warmth spread through me like liquid. I looked down to the baby, my heart over-come by that strange feeling of unconditional love again. I looked back to Cris and was shocked when I realized that I felt no differently for him. Of course, there was a bit of sexual attraction in the mix but you can get my point.

I squinted my eyes shut, only juicing it of my tears.

"It's what I want." I said.

He didn't speak, he just inhaled deeply and shifted his touch on my back. The most important things were settled now, so the next priority on my list could be mentioned.

"Cris?"

He sighed, figuring that I was already second-guessing my decision.

"What is it?"

"I really want to have sex right now, but we can't because of the baby. Will it always be like this?"

He chuckled, pulling away so we could make better eye contact.

"No, he falls alseep by nine o'clock every night."

I pulled my lips to the right side of my face and nodded in the same direction.

"I can live with that."