My Hero

Isabella.

It's been two weeks since Nick came over in an attempt to talk some sense into me, but I still haven't acknowledged his request. I have yet to call Joe and I know that I need to, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. In all honesty, I am terrified. I left Joe out of my own stupidity; there is absolutely no reason for him to even consider taking me back. I thought that I was not good enough for him, but my stupid actions only proved that I wasn't and that I still am not.

It wasn't much of a surprise to me when pictures of Joe and Ashley Greene together, once again, began to arise. At first I was hurt, but then I realized that I left him and he can date who ever we pleased. Joe is a grown man and he doesn't need to be held back by me, or even more so, held back by my baby.

I'm kind of glad, for this reason, that Joe is back together with Ashley. He had dated her before he met me and he was keeping it under cover. Right before we started dating they began to get more public, and after a mutual break up, they continued to hang out as good friends. Anyone on the outside could barely tell the difference, and it actually worked in our favor as a cover for a while.

Honestly, I'm happy for Joe. Ashley is a normal girl (and by normal I mean she isn't stupid and pregnant with her ex-fiancé’s baby). Joe could be free with her. There was no need for him to be with me now.

Anyway, it's only a few days before Christmas, and right now it looks like me and the baby- who I decided against naming Jacob -are spending the holiday with just my sister opposed to my whole family along with the Jonas clan. Luckily, my sister, being the smart person she is, had our cousin McKenna flown out so that she didn't have to sit around with her depressed and pregnant sister. I didn't mind, though, the two of them helped to keep my spirits up.

"Katie, Kenna," I called, gathering my car keys, cell phone, and purse, "I'm going to the grocery store. I want some organic peanut butter and I already finished off the last jar."

I heard my sister let out a laugh and reply, "Okay, be careful, Preggers."

I rolled my eyes and let out an annoyed groan before exiting my home and climbing into my car. My son began to kick excitedly as I started up the engine and music began to echo throughout the cabin of my vehicle rather loudly. Clearly, Katherine had forgotten to turn the radio back down last time she used my car. I couldn't help but smile at his actions. It seemed like in these later days, his movements were direct reactions to his environment opposed to random nudges. When I moved, he moved. When he was poked or pushed, he would kick back. Whenever there was a loud noise or I was talking, he was reacting in some way. It made everything seem more real.

"What are you doing in their little boy?" I asked my unborn son as I backed out of the driveway. "Only about a week left until I get to meet you."

Once settled on the road, I removed one hand from the steering wheel and placed it on my swollen, outstretched belly. I loved, more than anything, touching my belly and showing it off. I loved every single little twitch or wiggle that came from within me, although sometimes it did get painful at times, I adored it. I'm going to miss being pregnant.

I pulled into the parking lot of Whole Foods and carefully climbed out of the car. I pulled down the tight fitting hoodie that covered my upper body then made my way to the entrance of the store with my purse, keys, and phone in hand.

I grabbed a cart, placing my bag in the child seat at the front of the basket. Soon enough I was strolling up and down aisles looking for anything else that may tend to my intense cravings. I could really go for anything right about now. Peanut butter. Chocolate. Fruit. Cookies. Maybe even some relish would be nice.

"What should we get, Bubba?" I asked my baby as I stared at the snack aisle before me.

"When are you due?" an older woman asked, catching me off guard. She had a child, who was no older than two, sitting in the seat of her shopping cart. He was probably the cutest little toddler I had ever seen in my life.

I smiled politely and said, "In about a week."

"Is this your first?”

I nodded with a large smile before looking at the little boy with her once more. “He's adorable," referring to the child.

"Oh, thank you. Say hello, Tyler."

The young boy turned to me and smiled then waved before looking back at the toy in his chubby little hands.

"Well, we're going to get going. Good luck with your baby," and with that the woman walked away and I continued on my search for the perfect snack food.

I eventually abandoned the snack aisle and moved to the produce aisle to get some fruit and vegetables. Choosing a few apples, carrots, and sticks of celery, I made my way to get some peanut butter.

"Crap," I hissed, noticing that my favorite brand of peanut butter hand been misplaced and was now towards of the top shelf. Stupid grocery store people…

I groaned and stood on my toes, reaching for a small jar. A hand protectively made its way to my belly as I reached further and further for this single jar until my fingers were barely grazing the edge of the plastic container. This is what happens when your favorite brand of organic peanut butter is half of L.A.'s favorite brand too.

"Umph," I huffed, falling back to my feet giving up all hope of reaching the peanut butter. Before I knew it, tears were coming to my eyes. Now, I know what you are thinking, but when you are nine months pregnant, exhausted out of your mind, and you can't get the single food you are wholeheartedly craving, you can laugh. Until then, leave me alone.

I tried to reach the jar again, hoping that in the first attempt I stretched out my body a little more and I could actually reach now (ridiculous thought, I know). This time though, I lost my balance and began to teeter. Before I knew it, I was falling backwards, but instead of hitting the ground like I should have, I landed in a familiar set of arms.

"Whoa, there," the person chuckled, helping me back to my feet. "You should be a little more careful. That's some precious cargo you have there. Can I help you get that?"

I turned around and looked at my rescuer. "Um, thanks."

"You know I'm always there for you, Isabella," he smirked, reaching and successfully grabbing the jar from the shelf.

I took the jar from his familiar hands and looked down trying to avoid eye contact. "I- um- thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad you didn't fall."

I nodded softly and put my hand on my swollen bump. Only one person made me nervous like this, and he just had to be the person to rescue me. "I was going to call you. I thought it would be nice to talk..."

"I've tried to call you, Bella.” There he goes, calling me the only nickname that could ever make my heart melt. “You know I'm ready to listen whenever you want to talk about anything."

I shook my head and stared at my shoes as if they were the world’s greatest and most interesting invention. I’m telling you, by the way I was studying the stupid sneakers covering my swollen feet you would have thought that these shoes were going to end world hunger. "I um- I figured your girlfriend wouldn't like the idea of you talking to your ex."

"What? I don't have a girlfriend," he chuckled. "Can we just go talk somewhere? There's a nice little coffee shop down the street."

I just nodded, not trusting my own voice. Joseph Adam Jonas was doing it again; he was stealing my heart leaving me with no control over anything. So, in response, I neglected my shopping cart and just grabbed my purse before following Joe out to the parking lot. I climbed into my car after then continued to follow Joe to the cafe.

Once arriving, the two of us parked and Joe rushed over to help me out of my car.

"So, how have you been?" Joseph questioned as soon as we were settled into a secluded booth at the back of the cafe. It was nice and private, per Joseph's request, away from all the other customers and even windows. It was actually kind of frightening, but at the same time comforting.

"I'm good. You?"

"Isabella, you look terrible. I know for a fact that I'm nowhere near "good". I'm utterly miserable."

I looked down at the table and sighed, "I know."

"So, why did you do it? What did I do to make you so angry?"

I sighed and looked up at the man before me. He had the most pain filled look I had ever seen covering his face. He looked genuinely broken, probably just as broken as I felt. "Joe, wasn’t you. It was me, it still is..."

"Really, Bella?" he chuckled angrily as a reaction. "What the fuck is that?"

"Can you just let me explain, please?" I begged. "Just please hear me out."

Joe nodded lightly then muttered a soft, "I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"I felt like I didn't deserve you. I felt like I was just some charity case to you. You don't need a baby to go along with a girlfriend. Hell, you don't need an average girlfriend. You could have anyone in the world, yet you chose me and my baby. Every single day that week I was wondering how you could love someone like me. How can you love someone with extra baggage like I do? How could you love a baby that you didn't help create?" I sniffled and wiped away a few hot tears. "I was a moron, Joe. I was an overly hormonal moron and I wish that I could take back every doubt that I ever had because I'm miserable without you. I need you. And, more than anything, his baby needs you.

"I've wanted to call you for weeks now, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was sure that I legitimately didn't deserve you, but this time it was because I had doubted your love. I doubted that everything you felt for me was ever really there and I hate myself for that. And I am so sorry."

"How could you doubt that I love you? You should know that you are my heart. You're my life."

I shook my head and dried more tears, "The first time I was in a serious relationship, I was left for someone else. I wasn't good enough for him. He was a regular guy that couldn't get whatever girl he wanted in the world. He was a no one. Then I started dating you, and I couldn't help but to have doubts. If Daniel was good enough to leave me, then that means you were too..."

"Where's Daniel, anyway?" Joe asked curiously. "I was sure he would have moved in to take my place by now."

"Daniel left. He's in Canada, as stupid and ridiculous as it sounds. He wanted to give all the rights of the baby to you," I admitted. "He said that he wasn't fit to be a dad and that you would provide a much more stable life for the baby. He compared it to giving the baby up for adoption. He really thought it out."

"Bell, I wish you would have just called and talked to me."

"Are you- are you mad?" I asked, terrified as to what the answer was going to be. "I understand if you are."

Joe reached across the table and took my hand into his own. His features were softened into a look of sympathy, but his eyes still held disappointment. "I'm not mad. Disappointed, maybe, but not mad. I just want my baby girl back. Christmas is in three days, I want you to come and join my family like we had intended."

I nodded softly as smiled. "I can do that, but Katie and McKenna are at my house so they are going to have to come too."

"I think we can work that out." Joe held my hand and stood up before carefully helping me to my feet. "Let's go to your place."

I nodded and smiled as we walked out of the cafe hand-in-hand. Things were falling into place again.

***

"Mmm, I've missed this," Joseph mumbled, his fingers gently traced patterns over my son as we lay in my bed. His warm breath tickled the back of my neck before he kissed my bare shoulder. "I haven't gotten to cuddle with a pretty lady in too long."

I smiled softly and placed my right hand over his on my belly, leaving my left hand under my head. "I think missed you too."

I giggled lightly as I felt a small round of hiccups took over my unborn son. "Do you feel that?" I asked Joe referring to the rhythmic twitching of my belly.

"Mhm," he responded. Joe slipped his arm off of my body and climbed out of my bed. I heard his bare feet padding across the floor and soon enough he was kneeled next to the bed in front of my belly.

I watched as he pushed my tank top up, revealing my tight skin. His cool fingers trailed over my bump before he leaned in and finally kissed the warm skin just above my now flat belly button.

"Hey, little guy. Have you been good to your momma?" Joe asked him. "Well, I just want to let you know that I love both you and your momma so, so much and I can't wait to meet you."

"Joe, we need to pick out a name for the baby," I told him. "Daniel asked that we didn't name the baby Jacob- or any name that related to his -and I figured that would be a simple request to honor seeing as he's practically handing you his first born son."

Joe nodded and sat down with his back against the bed as he silently thought. "I didn't really like the name Jacob anyway," he chuckled. "How about...Anthony? Anthony Adam Jonas? It's powerful and manly. It's a name he can grow with.”

I smiled and nodded at Joe as he looked up at me waiting for approval. "Anthony Adam. So are we going to call him Tony or AJ?"

"We'll figure that out later." Joe got up from the floor and climbed into the bed so that he was hovering over me. "I love you and Anthony so much."

"Good," I smirked, "because we love you too."

It felt good to have my Joe back.