Soft on the Lips, Rough on the Heart

I shut his door, listening for the lock to click before moving away from it.

“Where is everyone?” I asked, swinging my arms.

Reid walked awkwardly around the bed, loosening his tie. “Working, I got a migraine so Morgan told me to just come back.”

I nodded and scratched my stomach lightly. Something was very different about the tension in the room, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

He tilted his head back and nodded for me to come closer. I slipped off my tennis shoes shuffled to the bed. I sat down trying to be playful, though not quite succeeding. I watched Spencer’s shoulders sink with a sigh. I turned away, so our backs were facing, and contemplated what to do. There wasn’t much I could do.

We sat in silence for no longer than thirty seconds before his hands were sliding around my hips from the back. I smiled and shifted my weight so I could glance over my shoulder at him.

“Now?” I asked, knowing the answer.

I watched him nod, while I turned to face Spencer completely. There wasn’t a smile, or a frown on his face; there wasn’t anything. I panicked momentarily as his hands moved to lay me down on the bed. I pulled our heads closer together; a kiss could possibly ease my second thoughts. And it did.

His lips tasted of fresh coffee, and the taste soothed me. But it didn’t stop my hands from shaking as I tried to pull off his shirt.

He laughed on top of me, and I stopped, frustrated by his giggles.

“Hey, stop being so nervous about it. It’s just me.” It was so strange how we both knew what was to come, even though we just simply decided not to say it.

Spencer placed his lips on mine once again. My stomach bubbled as he pulled off my tank, and continued to work on the Nike shorts I was wearing. Everything was happening all too quick; our lips, our hands, our clothes, were going everywhere and this time there was no stopping. I didn’t want it to stop. I think I loved Spencer Reid from the moment I saw how he treated me and that was what I wanted.

He stared down at my face, with a look of contentment. And when I tried to ask him what he was looking at, he said nothing. He just continued to look at me as we wiggled out of our last few pieces of clothing. I had never been completely naked in front of him. Self-consciousness consumed me until he whispered in my ear about how beautiful I was.

Time began to slow when he did; Spencer kissed my stomach, my chest, my legs, even ending with my forehead. I barely had time to wonder where his confidence came from when I heard his hand reach into the draw beside the table. There was a small crinkle and a snap. I nervously giggled when I realized his hands were shaking as he fumbled with the condom. I covered my mouth to muffle the sound.

“Hey, stop being so nervous about it. It’s just me,” I mocked.

Only we could be just as awkward normally as when we were about to have sex.
-----
I woke up, sitting straight up, before sinking back down. Spencer and I were only given another hour to lie together before people started arriving, and I had to make a break for it.

I don’t really know if it was good, I don’t have anything to compare it to. It didn’t hurt like people had said, or at least not that bad. He kissed my forehead while we hid underneath the covers. Then I returned to my room, so exhausted from “working out” that JJ insisted I have the first shower and get right to bed.

We had made such a big deal out of sex that it was surprisingly, uneventful. I was starting to feel a tiny bit guilty too. We hadn’t waited until my birthday, until it would be legal. Not only could Spencer lose his job, but he could be arrested. And that’s exactly what happened in my dream to make me wake up so quickly.

I curled into my covers, and waited for the sunlight to spill from under the curtains. When dawn finally came, I wrote a small note, slipped it under Spencer’s door and gathered my things together. I left a similar note for my aunt and ran downstairs to call a taxi. Maybe some time away from all of them will help my guilt, I thought to myself as I booked a ticket home with my credit card; it was fairly cheap.

After exiting the plane, and turning on my phone, I saw the one call from my aunt and the extreme amount of text messages from Spencer. Since when did he text?

Most were apologies for not being awake, but there were some questions. He assumed that he hurt me, or that he did something wrong, none of which were true. But I just didn’t feel like talking, I still felt in the wrong.

On my stoop waiting for me was one of the biggest bouquets of flowers I could have ever imagined. I plucked the card that was sticking out and opened it excitedly.

You’re more amazing than I could ever wish for.
-S.R.

I scooped the tulips, roses, and pansies into my arms, balancing the vase on one knee to
open the lock with my free hand. I set my bag inside the door and the flowers on the counter.

I pulled my cell from my pocket and hit Spencer’s speed dial number. I wasn’t surprised to get his voicemail.

“Spence, the flowers are beautiful. You did nothing wrong last night; it was perfect. I can’t wait until you get home.”

I closed the phone and set it next to the flowers.

“Who is Spencer? And why are you thanking him for my flowers?” a voice called from the
couch.

I turned and met Samson’s cold eyes.

“How did you get in here?” I asked, suddenly more frightened than ever.