Status: Completed
Someone out There Loves You
Paralyzed.
If you’ve ever almost gotten kicked out of Chili’s, you were having fun. But it will never compare to us.
After the scavenger hunt-- sorry, Molly's Epic Vegas Scavenger-But-Mostly-Fuck-Around-And-Scare-The-Shit-Out-of-the-Locals Hunt, My Chemical Romance/The Used treated everyone to dinner at Drew’s favorite restaurant. I could never easily tolerate spicy food, so I just pigged out on iced coffee and spinach dip while Drew opened her presents.
“OH MY FUCKING GOD!!” she screamed when she opened Gerard’s gift. They were new Vic Firth drumsticks, painted green and detailed so that when side by side they made the Hulk.
Now, Drew loves the Hulk. I mean, loves the Hulk. Her bedroom was a goddamned shrine to him.Gerard couldn’t have given her a better gift.
“Did you paint these yourself?” I asked, looking over Drew’s shoulder at them.
Gerard beamed. “Yepp. Do you like them?”
Drew’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “Like them?! I LOVE them!” She jumped up and gave Gerard a huge hug.
“My God,” Bert groaned. “Why did he get to give his gift first? Mine can NEVER top that!”
Drew smiled sweetly. “Bert, I’ll love your present no matter what.”
“…OKAY.” Bert tossed a package at her, haphazardly wrapped in newspaper. ‘It’s actually from the whole band, cuz we’re broke like that.”
Jeph rolled his eyes. “You just added so much love to the gift, Bert.”
Drew tore the wrapping off to reveal a digital photo frame, a USB drive already plugged into it.
“Turn it on!” Dan said. He was so excited he was hopping up and down in his seat, and Quinn had to put a hand on his shoulder to sit him down before the pitcher of Sprite was knocked over.
Drew hit the button and skimmed through all the photos; there were pictures of all of us since the start of the tour, including pictures from that day that The Used had gotten off of Molly’s phone.
“Oh, you guys!” Drew looked so happy. “This is perfect.”
Quinn smiled. “We couldn’t decide on just one picture.”
“That’s why it’s so great.” Drew hugged the guys and the frame was passed around the table for everyone to see.
“Oh you must be joking,” Monster said when he got the frame. He looked at The Used. “You seriously put this on there??”
It was a still shot of Monster sandwiched between Billie and Ray from the Colorado skiing fiasco. Billie looked close to tears, Monster looked petrified, and Ray looked like he was going to eat someone really fast.
Drew smiled. “That’s my favorite.”
“HA!” Billie pointed at the picture. “Ray, you look like your fro’s about to blow off of your head.”
“Shut up. I was five seconds away form blowing off YOUR head.”
Frank and Molly gave Drew a care package. My Chemical Romance style. It included Febreeze, a plastic ray gun (spray-painted purple because that’s Drew’s favorite color), a comic book (the Hulk of course), a copy of the Watchmen movie, a pair of skeleton gloves, and a red tie.
Billie gave her a vinyl of her favorite Rolling Stone’s record, Exile On Main Street, Mike gave her a pair of his Macbeth-collaboration shoes but customized them so her initials were on the toes in bright red (“Your shoes are getting holes in them,” he said, “You’re gonna freeze your damn toes off.”), and Tre gave her a gift card to C&C drums for her to order a custom bass drum with a Rush And Ruin logo on it, as he’d repeatedly voiced how much the band needed one.
Ray gave her a gigantic poster for the original Dawn of the Dead, which was pretty much her favorite zombie movie of all time. Mikey ripped off his own tshirt design and got her a “Drew Fucking Bryant” shirt that she absolutely adored.
Rush And Ruin were [obviously] the most broke band on the tour. We were teenagers, who are always broke. But with Gerard and Yoda’s help, we got her what was probably the best birthday present ever.
“Our gift isn’t a physical thing,” I said. Drew titled her head, confused. I was doing all I could to keep myself composed. Mark was about to explode with excitement.
“The band’s obviously been needing to make a music video, right?” I said to Drew.
“Yeah…?”
“And music videos need directors.”
Drew’s eyes started widening. “Where are you going with this.”
“Well, it took a while to work out, but--”
“I CAN’T TAKE IT,” Mark burst. “WE’RE GONNA WORK WITH BARTHOLOMEW CUBBINS.”
Drew’s jaw dropped. I could see Molly’s had too, even though it wasn’t her gift. Drew had been in love with everything Bartholomew Cubbins had ever made since day one of his albino-Norwegian “existence.”
As for Mark, Jared Leto was about as close to gay as he got.
“Are you freaking serious right now?” Drew was basically squeaking, she was so in shock.
“Hundred percent.”
I was sitting right next to Drew, and she tackled me in my chair. I didn’t even notice I hit my head on the wall I was so happy for her.
“ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU.” She hopped up off of me and attacked Monster and Levi. “AND YOU TWO.” She hugged them so hard their faces went red. She let them go and went to hug Mark, who stood up and spun her around. Since they both loved the gift the started hopping up and down and squealing.
“Mark?” Dan picked up his drink. “That moment there? That hopping thing? Yeah. Totally flaming.” He sipped his soda and Mark flipped him off.
“And Mollers, of course,” Drew said, letting go of Mark and going around the table. “You are totally coming. We love you and we need you in this damned video.”
“HOLY JESUS ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Drew nodded enthusiastically and the two girls about suffocated each other hugging.
Bert clapped a hand on Gerard’s shoulder. “In all love,” he said, “I’m kinda happy to see your gift topped.” Gerard just laughed and shoved him, which just prompted Bert to give him a slobbery kiss on the cheek.
Happy birthday, Drewsky.
For the final Vegas show, we wanted to do something really dramatic. I mean, c’mon, you can’t not do that in Vegas. And since our fans had begun to call themselves “The Ruiners,” we took that as an open invitation:
We were going to fucking destroy shit.
I’m not talking The Who-style destroy, but our own special brand.
First off, I was now infamous for constantly breaking mic stands. I don’t know how or why it happened (“Maybe it’s because you abuse the fuck out of those things,” Frank put it) but at least one was broken/damaged every single show. We would lose all our money on repairs for those sons oh bitches.
Second, one of the things that frustrated us the most was labels and pop culture. The term “emo” especially. When I talked to Blender while we were in…some state… I had gone on about that. What it used to mean. Even terms like “hipster” and “jock” got to me. I wanted to kill that.
And there was nothing our band loved more than blood and fire.
In about three hours before the show, we whipped our stunt together, and blew the kids’ minds away that night.
In the middle of Mechanics-- which had now singled and was rapidly climbing on iTunes-- a huge slate of metal was lowered down to the stage just in front of Drew’s kit. It was separated into six different sections, each reading something different: jock, emo, prep, geek, goth, and hipster.
Each one was written in matches.
That part of it was hard to see from the audience, but they could still read it. During the short instrumental before the bridge, I went over to the side of the stage, where Quinn waited patiently with a bucket of fake blood.
“If you drown in this,” he said, “I will laugh.” I just smiled and dunked my head in.
I quick dashed back onstage and sang myself through the first part of the bridge and kept mellow, just running my hands over my hair. That may have looked a tad sexual, but whatever.
“Your hands are, dripping blood. Your eyes are lying to me. Your skin is, cold and pale, dead as you’ll ever be.”
When it started to kick in at the repeat I stepped in front of the slate and faced it. I head banged while singing, spattering the matches and metal in blood.
Once that snippet ended, the real danger came.
I pulled a matchbook out of my pocket and stepped up to my stand, clipping my mic in. I tore off a match and struck it.
“You’re actions, said enough, now we’re only enemies.”
Drew slammed her drums, and I threw the match at the slate.
That shit lit up like fucking Christmas.
The first stupid part of the stunt was that this fake blood was a new recipe from our old stuff. What was normally just corn syrup and a ton of red food dye now had 40% isopropyl alcohol in it. It stung my scalp a bit… but watching that catch on fire was so worth it.
When it lit the crowd went crazy. I saw Mark take a few sideways steps toward the fire extinguisher in the corner, because the single craziest part was about to hit. I unclipped my mic again and lifted up the stand. I swear to God I could hear Molly in the crowd calling my insane. But maybe she had dug her way into my subconscious. I’ll never know.
I jumped into my series of “ashes” and threw the stand (which we had covered in black construction paper) at the slate. That made New Year’s.
“SOMEONE GET ME A BUCKET OF COLD WATER RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.”
My scalp was really burning as I ran to the sink in our dressing room. I heard Ray and Bert laughing at me and flipped them off as I ran.
With my head dunked beneath the faucet I heard someone knock on the door.
“Come on in.”
Billie opened the door. “Hey, you alright?”
“Better than I was. What’s up?”
“I brought soap so you can get that blood off your face before our set.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw him hold up another something. “And your dress and socks.”
“Muchas thank yous.”
It had taken some convincing on their part, but Green Day had talked me into helping them do a stunt, too. I had to wear a dress for it, which I didn’t care for, but once we planned it I decided I would sacrifice a bit.
Plus Billie was giving me their Prize Soap.
I would be insane to say no.
“Uhm… Mike? Do you know where our audience is?” The kids cheered.
“Well,” Mike said, “They should be out there…”
There was a translucent white sheet hanging from the ceiling to the edge of the stage, making Green Day look like silhouettes to the crowd. I stood on the side stage, adjusting my black socks so they looked like ballerina slippers. For this stunt, I was coming in as the female vocals for Letterbomb, the only accompaniment I had done on tour except for the few times My Chemical Romance needed me on Mama.
“Obviously, they vanished,” Tre said from the back.
“Someone’s gotta know where they are!” Billie said. “Wait… oh! We’ll ask Clayah!” I heard the audience cheer at my name as I danced onstage. I stepped gracefully [as I could] heel-to-toe with my arms out to balance me.
“Clayah, do you know where the crowd is?” Mike asked.
“Nobody likes you,” I sang. With this line I made my arms spin in huge circles at my sides and spun a bit, then continued my walk.
“Uhm… wow, thanks,” Billie said flatly. The kids behind the curtain laughed. “But seriously, we need to play for somebody.”
“Nobody likes you.” I did my little dance, then had to turn and walk in the direction I came.
“Alright then,” Tre said. “If they’re gone, where did they go?”
“Everyone left you.” Now I stopped mid step, putting my arms over my head, leaning back, and sticking my leg high out in front of me, and heel-to-toe’d again.
“Clearly.” Mike tried to make himself sound annoyed now. But he was having a hard time since he could hear the kids laughing in the audience. I was even having a hard time keeping my voice steady when I sang.
“Where ARE they, Clayah?” Billie tried to cover for Mike.
“Everyone left you.” I repeated my next dance and then had to turn around again. The timing was perfect so far…
“Why?” Tre asked.
“They’re all out without you.” I turned myself in three quick spins… THANK GOD. I had fallen down when we rehearsed it, but this time I stayed up. Praise Jebus.
“Well we need some sort of audience here, Clayah,” Billie said.
“They’re all out without you..” My stomach turned when I spun. Note: never drink three cups of coffee before dancing to Letterbomb. But the timing was lined up just right.
“DAMMIT, Clayah!” Billie said. “Stop being cryptic!” I turned around again, taking three steps. “Where the hell is our crowd?!”
“Nobody likes you--” Arm circles, “--Everyone left you--” Lean back, “--They’re all out without you--” Spins…
Now I stopped right next to Billie, giving a couple beats of silence and feeling the anticipation build in the room. I leaned to Billie’s ear.
“Having fun.” And I danced off the stage.
Behind the curtain Gerard and Dan were there to high five me. Billie started the opening riff to the song and Tre and Mike joined in.
“Where have all… the bastards gone!”
On “bastards” the curtain dropped, and a few sparks flew from cannons on either side of Tre’s drum set.
Why did I ever question doing a stunt with them?
“Clayah, c’mon, rise and shine.”
“Shine yourself, I am not getting up.”
“You have to. We’re almost in Boise.”
I sat up as much as I could in my bunk. “BITCH please. Drew and I rolled out of our bunks at the same time last night.” I pointed to Drew’s bunk across from me, containing a drummer who’s mouth was currently open in the biggest yawn I’ve ever seen.
“So?” Levi said.
I narrowed my eyes. “It was bad.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “We all roll out of our bunks, Clayah, it always hurts--”
“OKAY, BLUNTLY, SHE KICKED ME WHERE THE SUN DOESN’T SHINE.”
Levi’s eyes went wide. Then confused. “That hurts you guys?”
“FUCK YEAH IT DOES.”
“It WAS an accident.” Drew tried to push her tangled brown hair off of her face to no avail.
“Still hurt like hell.”
“Would you like an ice pack?” Levi asked. I looked at him oddly and he shrugged. “A girl kicked me once when she didn’t like my pick up line and I learned ice helps.”
“I’ll pass,” I said.
“Haha,” Drew laughed, “What’d you say to her.”
Levi’s face went flat. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I laughed too. “You brought it up, now you have to tell us.”
He groaned. “I was seventeen, it was my first beer--”
“BITCH SPIT IT OUT.”
“’Baby,’” he said flatly, “’I’m not Fred Flinstone, but I can make your Bedrock.’”
Drew started laughing hysterically. “If that was me, I would’ve done so much worse than kick you in the balls.” Levi punched her in the arm and she just laughed harder.
“Now seriously you two, get out of bed. We have an meeting in an hour.”
“An HOUR?” I said. “Then why wake us up so early??”
“You’re girls. I figured you two wanted time to ‘pretty up’ or some shit.”
Drew and I just glared at him.
“Levi,” I said, “It’s me and Drew. We don’t do that. Plus, you shouldn’t be telling us that. You haven’t showered in four days.”
“You haven’t showered in six.”
“Clayah stinks but I don’t, so screw off.” Drew let her head hit the pillow again, her mouth dropped open and quietly snoring within a minute.
Levi shook her shoulder. “Drewsky, I don’t believe you know who this meeting is with.”
“If it’s Jesus or the president, I’ll pass.”
“No, it’s Jared.”
Drew sat up so fast her head smashed into the top of her bunk, throwing her back down onto her pillow. She let this pass and hopped out of bed. “BATHROOM, I DIBS IT.”
I pulled myself out of bed and headed straight for the coffeepot. Frank was sitting in our lounge with Mollers. They had developed a habit of doing this. Well, Molly had, Frank just followed suit now after that one day she vanished.
“Morning, guys,” I said to them. Then I noticed Frank’s face. “Frankie… you’re green.”
He grinned. “Yes, yes I am. I tried to get my face to be all Fun Ghoul.”
“Why not just wear your mask?”
“That’s what I said,” Molly mumbled.
“I thought it’d look cooler like this.”
“…Frank… you look like Frankenstein.”
“Frahnkensteen!” Monster said, quoting his favorite movie. I giggled.
“Seriously?” Frank stood up and looked in the mirror behind the kitchenette counter. “Oh God… you’re right.”
“Exactly.” I scanned around the sink. “Hey Monster, where’s the dish soap?”
“Under the sink. Deodorant and spray are in the bathroom.”
While my coffee brewed, I grabbed a tshirt (we have no towels) that looked mostly clean. I turned on the sink and dunked my head under, squirting Dawn into my hand and scrubbing the grime off my scalp like there was no tomorrow. Monster skimmed through a magazine, and Frank and Molly watched in fascination.
I rinsed my hair and turned the water off. I squeezed the water out of my hair as best I could and rubbed my head with the towel. Then I grabbed the Degree (Men’s) And slabbed a bunch on my underarms. I then sprayed all the visible surfaces of my skin with Axe.
“That is both disgusting,” Mollers said, “And genius.” I grinned.
“My face is green,” Frank frowned.
The Starbuck’s we had our meeting at was a ways away from where our buses had parked for the night, so Gerard was nice enough to walk with us.
And by nice, I mean protective because we were in a freaking nowhere land in Idaho and were scared shitless. But the place had a Starbuck’s, so life could’ve been worse.
Drew and Mark would not slow down the entire way there. At first we tried to keep up with them, but finally got too impatient and just let them walk twenty feet ahead of us, hopping and skipping like crazy people.
When we finally got there, we stared around the Starbuck’s. And swear to God it was a dead place. I think there were four people in there. One of them was sitting in the shadows, a steaming latte in front of him, growing cold as he whipped his thumbs over a Blackberry’s QWERTY board.
It was Jared fucking Leto.
I wanted to pass out.
He smiled at us and waved, most likely just recognizing Gerard and assuming who we were. Gerard didn’t really notice our reactions and just strode across the room and bro-hugged Jared. I started to walk toward the two when I realized Drew and Mark were stuck.
“Guys,” I hissed. “C’mon.”
Drew had sunglasses on, but if I knew her like I did I knew her eyes were wide. Mark’s forehead gleamed with nervous sweat. Levi sighed and walked behind them, pushing them by the small of their backs and therefore forcing them to walk.
As excited and nervous as I was, I tried to walk confidently. I almost stepped on my shoelace and tripped but caught myself at the last minute.
“How are you? It’s been fucking forever!” Gerard was saying to Jared.
“Great, great. How are you? Tour going well?” Jared’s smile was seriously making me nervous. In the best of ways.
“So fun, best in a while.” Gerard saw me coming up first and put and arm around my shoulder. “Speaking of, this girl here is--”
“Clayah Shier,” Jared smiled. “Lead singer for Rush And Ruin.”
Jared Leto knew who I was.
Jared Leto knew who I was.
Now would be a good time to speak.
I smiled and stuck my hand out, shaking his. “Right on, how’d you know that?”
Jared smiled. “Everyone in the music world knows who you are now. You’re a freaking legend.”
I was taken aback. “I am?”
“Absolutely, all of you are! Everyone wants to be you! Your story’s so unrealistic it’s believable.”
I laughed. “We’re just lucky.”
“Ah ah ah,” Jared wagged a finger at me. “Don’t say that. Talented. No argument because I’ve got your album pre-ordered.” He winked at me.
Lord, take me now.
Jared looked over my head. “And this is the rest of Rush And Ruin.”
Levi and Monster introduced themselves while Mark and Drew attempted composure.
Mark talked to him first. “Hi, I’m Mark. Guitarist, and a really huge fan.”
“Aw, thank you.” Jared turned to Drew. “And this is Drew Bryant. I believe I’m your birthday present.”
Drew never ever ever had fan girl moments. But in that space in time she was an inch from death, stuck in statue mode.
“H-h…hi.”
“Your manager said you might do that.” Drew flushed a dark shade of red.
This was the moment we all learned just how nice a person Jared Leto is.
Instead of shaking her hand, Jared let himself past the rest of us and gathered Drew in a huge hug. “Happy birthday, Drew. It’s great to meet you.”
When he pulled away, Drew’s face was completely giddy with joy. She looked at the band.
“Best birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” she said to us. She was even choking up a bit. She turned to Gerard. “And your drumsticks.”
We didn’t get back to the buses until sound check. We had spent three hours talking to Jared, always letting him know how thankful we were for the fact the he was working with us.
“Honestly, I’m honored that you even asked,” he said. “You guys are my favorite band right now. I normally just work with 30 Seconds To Mars but there’s no way in hell I would’ve turned this down.”
Once Drew had calmed down, she and Jared really clicked idea wise. Drew and I were absolutely the ones for detail; the entire band had an idea, which Jared was totally for, but Drew and I were really throwing ourselves into it. Gerard just sat in his chair, smiling and observing this newfound friendship.
Jared knew. I absolutely trusted him, and I figured he was probably entitled to be let in on it, since only Rush And Ruin was unaware.
Entitled?
Oh God, listen to me. I’m insane. I felt like a complete asshole thinking someone was more entitled to knowing than my own little sister. That title was freaking me out less and less each day considering it was always on my mind, but a new sort of anxiety also came with that.
Jared’s reaction was unpredictable to me, but I figured he would take it well. Which, luckily, he did.
He just nodded. “When are you planning on telling her?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. Mikey’s having a harder time with him than I am.” I explained the differences between our relationships with Clayah. “Call us gutless, but… well, it’s just plain scary.”
“Gerard, I love you to pieces. Mikey too.” He put a supportive hand on my shoulder. “But this girl is 14, starting a whole new life. And there’s a pretty big piece of that life missing. Personally I don’t think that’s fair to her.”
“Neither do I, but… Jared how would you feel?”
He considered that for a moment. “Scared shitless.”
“Exactly.”
“BUT.” Jared put a lecturing finger in my face. “Even more so I would feel like on guilty bastard for hiding it.”
One of the things I absolutely despised about Jared:
He was always right in the most painful of ways.
But I knew he would never tell her. He was better than that. More honorable. As soon as he heard Mollers side he agreed without blinking. But Jared agreed to [try and] put the whole situation out of his mind and only focus on the video.
That day in the Starbuck’s, something really hit me. I watched these five kids throw themselves out to Jared, even though they hardly knew him, their hearts all in their ideas even when Jared tried to improve them. They took all correction with grace whereas most kids would get a sting and argue furiously for themselves. The most mature bunch of teenagers I’ve ever met.
Clayah and Drew must have dreamt everything up for their entire lives. They described each shot they wanted to see in immense detail, especially Drew.
At one point, Jared was really into one of Drew’s ideas, and proposed to her an offer that I’m sure blew her fucking mind.
“You know, Drew,” Jared said with a sip of his coffee, now growing cold because he’d been talking so much and listening so intently that he thought of nothing but the words spoken, “I would be really honored if you directed this video with me.”
Clayah’s face completely lit up. That stunned me a bit. She was such a huge fan of Jared, obviously, and most “fan girls” (not that I would really classify her with that in a way) would be bleeding jealousy. But Clayah was excited at the very thought of her friend having that opportunity. I saw just how big her heart was.
Drew’s jaw dropped. She was silent for a minute as Jared hung waiting for her answer. She surprised me a bit when she bit her lip, thinking.
She hitched a thumb at the singer sitting next to her. “Only if Clayah will do it with us.”
Jared raised his eyebrows. “That’s loyalty… absolutely!”
Cue three way hugs.
At that moment I saw a whole new side of these kids. I knew them as funny, I knew them as brave, I knew them as tough, I knew them as great performers. But this was the time I saw them as true artists. And dammit, they deserved where they were more than any band in the world.
“For those of you who don’t know,” I said into my mic, “In the early days we were always required to play covers. We really haven’t played one in a while, and for some fucky reason we miss it. So tonight for you we have a special surprise.” The crowd cheered.
“Right now we’re gonna jump into one of our favorite tracks from one of our favorite artists,” I said as the electronic echo started in. “If you know the words sing along.” Monster started into the piano piece and immediately the kids recognized it.
“No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave… No matter how many breaths that you took, you still couldn’t breathe… No matter how many nights that you lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain.” I saw Jared off on the side stage flipping on his mic. “Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go?”
Jared strode onstage toward me and sang. As soon as they saw him come out the kids went nuts.
“Heartbeat, a heartbeat I need a, heartbeat, a heart--”
Jared and I alternated for the chorus, me starting.
“Tell me would you kill, to save a life?”
“Tell me would you kill, to prove you’re right?”
“Crash--”
“Crash--”
Our voices blended. “Buuurn, let it all burn. This hurricane’s chasing us all underground.”
When the song was over, I made the kids scream as loud as they possibly could in thanks to Jared.
“And,” I said, “We would like to thank Jared for granting us the opportunity to work on our first video with Mr. Bartholomew Cubbins!”
Holy damn, they about exploded my eardrums.
“I hate you so much, Clayah Shier.”
“Oh, c’mon, you love me.” I hugged Molly with one arm and kissed her on the head.
She huffed. “Yeah, but you still suck.”
“It’s not my fault he had to go to Oregon before us!”
“Uh, yeah, it is. You needed him to set up for the video.”
“Well, we’ll be there tomorrow night, then you can see him the next morning.” This seemed to satisfy her a little bit. To make her really smile, I asked her the big question I’d had lurking in my mind for the longest time.
“Mollers,” I said, sitting cross legged on the couch and facing her. In this position I could feel the bassline Mikey was playing onstage shake my bones. “Darling dearest lover boat?”
She grinned. “What?”
I put my hands on hers seriously. “I wanna ask you a huge favor. Two, actually.”
“Hmm?”
“First… would you do the band the honor of being in our first video?”
“SERIOUSLY?”
I laughed. “We love you, you’re practically the sixth member of the band--” I didn’t even finish before she gave me a huge hug.
“ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU.”
“Wow, big mood swing in the last minute. You PMS?”
She rolled her eyes. “What’s the second favor?”
“Be a dear.” I pulled a dollar out of my pocket. “Can you please run out to the front of the venue and get me a soda? I don’t want to be seen yet, those kids are a bit nuts. Plus I gotta run to the bathroom, too.”
“Sure, no problem. Go ahead.”
Molly and I parted our separate ways. I drifted down the backstage hallway, reading every door sign and grumbling about how poorly labeled everything was.
“Clayah?”
A familiar voice I used to fear. I whipped around. “Barnabus?”
He look surprised. “Wow, you didn’t yell at me.” He got that creepy smile on his face. “Starting to feel the loooooove?”
“Hardly.” I shrugged. “Don’t get used to it. I’m in a good mood tonight.”
“Hmm.” He took a few steps closer, making me uneasy. “So. Get any big news lately?”
I looked at him sideways. “Uhm, I guess, what’s it to you?”
“Ah. Well, I was afraid I was gonna have to be the one to tell you.”
“…That makes no sense.”
“Well it’s better to hear it from SOME loved one if not them.”
I rolled my eyes. “First, you’re not a loved one. Second, ‘them’ who?”
“The--”
“BARNABUS/.” Quinn was storming down the hall toward us. “You’re not supposed to be back here! You know that!”
“I was just--”
“Like I care.” He grabbed Barnabus by the arm and dragged him down the hall, summoning a security guard around the corner.
“Keep an eye out for this kid from now on,” Quinn said. “I don’t ever want to see him back here again.” The guard took Barnabus by the shoulder and walked away with him.
Quinn walked back toward me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…” I shook my head in daze. “A little confused.”
Quinn cocked his head. “About what?”
“I dunno. Barnabus was just going to about some weird shit.”
I saw Quinn’s shoulders tense up. “Like what?”
“Something about some sort of news. Ah, whatever, he’s just--”
“What kind of news?”
“Quinn, please tell me Gerard and Mikey aren’t rubbing paranoia off on you.”
He waved me off. “No, not at all. That kid just gives me the creeps.”
“Hey, what’s going on?” Molly came back down the hall, a bottle of Dr. Pepper in hand. “Everything okay? I swore I saw Barnabus.”
“Yeah,” Quinn said. “No big deal, he just snuck backstage again.”
Molly narrowed her eyes and huffed. I was now totally confused.
“Uhm, well, I’m finally gonna use the bathroom now.” I stood up and walked a couple doors down to the bathroom.
I locked myself in a stall and ran my hands through my hair. This was fucking frustrating. I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing some huge piece of… something. Exactly my point! I was totally in the dark. The only people who seemed to be in it with me were my band.
Things just couldn’t get any more dramatic.
After the scavenger hunt-- sorry, Molly's Epic Vegas Scavenger-But-Mostly-Fuck-Around-And-Scare-The-Shit-Out-of-the-Locals Hunt, My Chemical Romance/The Used treated everyone to dinner at Drew’s favorite restaurant. I could never easily tolerate spicy food, so I just pigged out on iced coffee and spinach dip while Drew opened her presents.
“OH MY FUCKING GOD!!” she screamed when she opened Gerard’s gift. They were new Vic Firth drumsticks, painted green and detailed so that when side by side they made the Hulk.
Now, Drew loves the Hulk. I mean, loves the Hulk. Her bedroom was a goddamned shrine to him.Gerard couldn’t have given her a better gift.
“Did you paint these yourself?” I asked, looking over Drew’s shoulder at them.
Gerard beamed. “Yepp. Do you like them?”
Drew’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “Like them?! I LOVE them!” She jumped up and gave Gerard a huge hug.
“My God,” Bert groaned. “Why did he get to give his gift first? Mine can NEVER top that!”
Drew smiled sweetly. “Bert, I’ll love your present no matter what.”
“…OKAY.” Bert tossed a package at her, haphazardly wrapped in newspaper. ‘It’s actually from the whole band, cuz we’re broke like that.”
Jeph rolled his eyes. “You just added so much love to the gift, Bert.”
Drew tore the wrapping off to reveal a digital photo frame, a USB drive already plugged into it.
“Turn it on!” Dan said. He was so excited he was hopping up and down in his seat, and Quinn had to put a hand on his shoulder to sit him down before the pitcher of Sprite was knocked over.
Drew hit the button and skimmed through all the photos; there were pictures of all of us since the start of the tour, including pictures from that day that The Used had gotten off of Molly’s phone.
“Oh, you guys!” Drew looked so happy. “This is perfect.”
Quinn smiled. “We couldn’t decide on just one picture.”
“That’s why it’s so great.” Drew hugged the guys and the frame was passed around the table for everyone to see.
“Oh you must be joking,” Monster said when he got the frame. He looked at The Used. “You seriously put this on there??”
It was a still shot of Monster sandwiched between Billie and Ray from the Colorado skiing fiasco. Billie looked close to tears, Monster looked petrified, and Ray looked like he was going to eat someone really fast.
Drew smiled. “That’s my favorite.”
“HA!” Billie pointed at the picture. “Ray, you look like your fro’s about to blow off of your head.”
“Shut up. I was five seconds away form blowing off YOUR head.”
Frank and Molly gave Drew a care package. My Chemical Romance style. It included Febreeze, a plastic ray gun (spray-painted purple because that’s Drew’s favorite color), a comic book (the Hulk of course), a copy of the Watchmen movie, a pair of skeleton gloves, and a red tie.
Billie gave her a vinyl of her favorite Rolling Stone’s record, Exile On Main Street, Mike gave her a pair of his Macbeth-collaboration shoes but customized them so her initials were on the toes in bright red (“Your shoes are getting holes in them,” he said, “You’re gonna freeze your damn toes off.”), and Tre gave her a gift card to C&C drums for her to order a custom bass drum with a Rush And Ruin logo on it, as he’d repeatedly voiced how much the band needed one.
Ray gave her a gigantic poster for the original Dawn of the Dead, which was pretty much her favorite zombie movie of all time. Mikey ripped off his own tshirt design and got her a “Drew Fucking Bryant” shirt that she absolutely adored.
Rush And Ruin were [obviously] the most broke band on the tour. We were teenagers, who are always broke. But with Gerard and Yoda’s help, we got her what was probably the best birthday present ever.
“Our gift isn’t a physical thing,” I said. Drew titled her head, confused. I was doing all I could to keep myself composed. Mark was about to explode with excitement.
“The band’s obviously been needing to make a music video, right?” I said to Drew.
“Yeah…?”
“And music videos need directors.”
Drew’s eyes started widening. “Where are you going with this.”
“Well, it took a while to work out, but--”
“I CAN’T TAKE IT,” Mark burst. “WE’RE GONNA WORK WITH BARTHOLOMEW CUBBINS.”
Drew’s jaw dropped. I could see Molly’s had too, even though it wasn’t her gift. Drew had been in love with everything Bartholomew Cubbins had ever made since day one of his albino-Norwegian “existence.”
As for Mark, Jared Leto was about as close to gay as he got.
“Are you freaking serious right now?” Drew was basically squeaking, she was so in shock.
“Hundred percent.”
I was sitting right next to Drew, and she tackled me in my chair. I didn’t even notice I hit my head on the wall I was so happy for her.
“ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU.” She hopped up off of me and attacked Monster and Levi. “AND YOU TWO.” She hugged them so hard their faces went red. She let them go and went to hug Mark, who stood up and spun her around. Since they both loved the gift the started hopping up and down and squealing.
“Mark?” Dan picked up his drink. “That moment there? That hopping thing? Yeah. Totally flaming.” He sipped his soda and Mark flipped him off.
“And Mollers, of course,” Drew said, letting go of Mark and going around the table. “You are totally coming. We love you and we need you in this damned video.”
“HOLY JESUS ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Drew nodded enthusiastically and the two girls about suffocated each other hugging.
Bert clapped a hand on Gerard’s shoulder. “In all love,” he said, “I’m kinda happy to see your gift topped.” Gerard just laughed and shoved him, which just prompted Bert to give him a slobbery kiss on the cheek.
Happy birthday, Drewsky.
For the final Vegas show, we wanted to do something really dramatic. I mean, c’mon, you can’t not do that in Vegas. And since our fans had begun to call themselves “The Ruiners,” we took that as an open invitation:
We were going to fucking destroy shit.
I’m not talking The Who-style destroy, but our own special brand.
First off, I was now infamous for constantly breaking mic stands. I don’t know how or why it happened (“Maybe it’s because you abuse the fuck out of those things,” Frank put it) but at least one was broken/damaged every single show. We would lose all our money on repairs for those sons oh bitches.
Second, one of the things that frustrated us the most was labels and pop culture. The term “emo” especially. When I talked to Blender while we were in…some state… I had gone on about that. What it used to mean. Even terms like “hipster” and “jock” got to me. I wanted to kill that.
And there was nothing our band loved more than blood and fire.
In about three hours before the show, we whipped our stunt together, and blew the kids’ minds away that night.
In the middle of Mechanics-- which had now singled and was rapidly climbing on iTunes-- a huge slate of metal was lowered down to the stage just in front of Drew’s kit. It was separated into six different sections, each reading something different: jock, emo, prep, geek, goth, and hipster.
Each one was written in matches.
That part of it was hard to see from the audience, but they could still read it. During the short instrumental before the bridge, I went over to the side of the stage, where Quinn waited patiently with a bucket of fake blood.
“If you drown in this,” he said, “I will laugh.” I just smiled and dunked my head in.
I quick dashed back onstage and sang myself through the first part of the bridge and kept mellow, just running my hands over my hair. That may have looked a tad sexual, but whatever.
“Your hands are, dripping blood. Your eyes are lying to me. Your skin is, cold and pale, dead as you’ll ever be.”
When it started to kick in at the repeat I stepped in front of the slate and faced it. I head banged while singing, spattering the matches and metal in blood.
Once that snippet ended, the real danger came.
I pulled a matchbook out of my pocket and stepped up to my stand, clipping my mic in. I tore off a match and struck it.
“You’re actions, said enough, now we’re only enemies.”
Drew slammed her drums, and I threw the match at the slate.
That shit lit up like fucking Christmas.
The first stupid part of the stunt was that this fake blood was a new recipe from our old stuff. What was normally just corn syrup and a ton of red food dye now had 40% isopropyl alcohol in it. It stung my scalp a bit… but watching that catch on fire was so worth it.
When it lit the crowd went crazy. I saw Mark take a few sideways steps toward the fire extinguisher in the corner, because the single craziest part was about to hit. I unclipped my mic again and lifted up the stand. I swear to God I could hear Molly in the crowd calling my insane. But maybe she had dug her way into my subconscious. I’ll never know.
I jumped into my series of “ashes” and threw the stand (which we had covered in black construction paper) at the slate. That made New Year’s.
“SOMEONE GET ME A BUCKET OF COLD WATER RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.”
My scalp was really burning as I ran to the sink in our dressing room. I heard Ray and Bert laughing at me and flipped them off as I ran.
With my head dunked beneath the faucet I heard someone knock on the door.
“Come on in.”
Billie opened the door. “Hey, you alright?”
“Better than I was. What’s up?”
“I brought soap so you can get that blood off your face before our set.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw him hold up another something. “And your dress and socks.”
“Muchas thank yous.”
It had taken some convincing on their part, but Green Day had talked me into helping them do a stunt, too. I had to wear a dress for it, which I didn’t care for, but once we planned it I decided I would sacrifice a bit.
Plus Billie was giving me their Prize Soap.
I would be insane to say no.
“Uhm… Mike? Do you know where our audience is?” The kids cheered.
“Well,” Mike said, “They should be out there…”
There was a translucent white sheet hanging from the ceiling to the edge of the stage, making Green Day look like silhouettes to the crowd. I stood on the side stage, adjusting my black socks so they looked like ballerina slippers. For this stunt, I was coming in as the female vocals for Letterbomb, the only accompaniment I had done on tour except for the few times My Chemical Romance needed me on Mama.
“Obviously, they vanished,” Tre said from the back.
“Someone’s gotta know where they are!” Billie said. “Wait… oh! We’ll ask Clayah!” I heard the audience cheer at my name as I danced onstage. I stepped gracefully [as I could] heel-to-toe with my arms out to balance me.
“Clayah, do you know where the crowd is?” Mike asked.
“Nobody likes you,” I sang. With this line I made my arms spin in huge circles at my sides and spun a bit, then continued my walk.
“Uhm… wow, thanks,” Billie said flatly. The kids behind the curtain laughed. “But seriously, we need to play for somebody.”
“Nobody likes you.” I did my little dance, then had to turn and walk in the direction I came.
“Alright then,” Tre said. “If they’re gone, where did they go?”
“Everyone left you.” Now I stopped mid step, putting my arms over my head, leaning back, and sticking my leg high out in front of me, and heel-to-toe’d again.
“Clearly.” Mike tried to make himself sound annoyed now. But he was having a hard time since he could hear the kids laughing in the audience. I was even having a hard time keeping my voice steady when I sang.
“Where ARE they, Clayah?” Billie tried to cover for Mike.
“Everyone left you.” I repeated my next dance and then had to turn around again. The timing was perfect so far…
“Why?” Tre asked.
“They’re all out without you.” I turned myself in three quick spins… THANK GOD. I had fallen down when we rehearsed it, but this time I stayed up. Praise Jebus.
“Well we need some sort of audience here, Clayah,” Billie said.
“They’re all out without you..” My stomach turned when I spun. Note: never drink three cups of coffee before dancing to Letterbomb. But the timing was lined up just right.
“DAMMIT, Clayah!” Billie said. “Stop being cryptic!” I turned around again, taking three steps. “Where the hell is our crowd?!”
“Nobody likes you--” Arm circles, “--Everyone left you--” Lean back, “--They’re all out without you--” Spins…
Now I stopped right next to Billie, giving a couple beats of silence and feeling the anticipation build in the room. I leaned to Billie’s ear.
“Having fun.” And I danced off the stage.
Behind the curtain Gerard and Dan were there to high five me. Billie started the opening riff to the song and Tre and Mike joined in.
“Where have all… the bastards gone!”
On “bastards” the curtain dropped, and a few sparks flew from cannons on either side of Tre’s drum set.
Why did I ever question doing a stunt with them?
“Clayah, c’mon, rise and shine.”
“Shine yourself, I am not getting up.”
“You have to. We’re almost in Boise.”
I sat up as much as I could in my bunk. “BITCH please. Drew and I rolled out of our bunks at the same time last night.” I pointed to Drew’s bunk across from me, containing a drummer who’s mouth was currently open in the biggest yawn I’ve ever seen.
“So?” Levi said.
I narrowed my eyes. “It was bad.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “We all roll out of our bunks, Clayah, it always hurts--”
“OKAY, BLUNTLY, SHE KICKED ME WHERE THE SUN DOESN’T SHINE.”
Levi’s eyes went wide. Then confused. “That hurts you guys?”
“FUCK YEAH IT DOES.”
“It WAS an accident.” Drew tried to push her tangled brown hair off of her face to no avail.
“Still hurt like hell.”
“Would you like an ice pack?” Levi asked. I looked at him oddly and he shrugged. “A girl kicked me once when she didn’t like my pick up line and I learned ice helps.”
“I’ll pass,” I said.
“Haha,” Drew laughed, “What’d you say to her.”
Levi’s face went flat. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I laughed too. “You brought it up, now you have to tell us.”
He groaned. “I was seventeen, it was my first beer--”
“BITCH SPIT IT OUT.”
“’Baby,’” he said flatly, “’I’m not Fred Flinstone, but I can make your Bedrock.’”
Drew started laughing hysterically. “If that was me, I would’ve done so much worse than kick you in the balls.” Levi punched her in the arm and she just laughed harder.
“Now seriously you two, get out of bed. We have an meeting in an hour.”
“An HOUR?” I said. “Then why wake us up so early??”
“You’re girls. I figured you two wanted time to ‘pretty up’ or some shit.”
Drew and I just glared at him.
“Levi,” I said, “It’s me and Drew. We don’t do that. Plus, you shouldn’t be telling us that. You haven’t showered in four days.”
“You haven’t showered in six.”
“Clayah stinks but I don’t, so screw off.” Drew let her head hit the pillow again, her mouth dropped open and quietly snoring within a minute.
Levi shook her shoulder. “Drewsky, I don’t believe you know who this meeting is with.”
“If it’s Jesus or the president, I’ll pass.”
“No, it’s Jared.”
Drew sat up so fast her head smashed into the top of her bunk, throwing her back down onto her pillow. She let this pass and hopped out of bed. “BATHROOM, I DIBS IT.”
I pulled myself out of bed and headed straight for the coffeepot. Frank was sitting in our lounge with Mollers. They had developed a habit of doing this. Well, Molly had, Frank just followed suit now after that one day she vanished.
“Morning, guys,” I said to them. Then I noticed Frank’s face. “Frankie… you’re green.”
He grinned. “Yes, yes I am. I tried to get my face to be all Fun Ghoul.”
“Why not just wear your mask?”
“That’s what I said,” Molly mumbled.
“I thought it’d look cooler like this.”
“…Frank… you look like Frankenstein.”
“Frahnkensteen!” Monster said, quoting his favorite movie. I giggled.
“Seriously?” Frank stood up and looked in the mirror behind the kitchenette counter. “Oh God… you’re right.”
“Exactly.” I scanned around the sink. “Hey Monster, where’s the dish soap?”
“Under the sink. Deodorant and spray are in the bathroom.”
While my coffee brewed, I grabbed a tshirt (we have no towels) that looked mostly clean. I turned on the sink and dunked my head under, squirting Dawn into my hand and scrubbing the grime off my scalp like there was no tomorrow. Monster skimmed through a magazine, and Frank and Molly watched in fascination.
I rinsed my hair and turned the water off. I squeezed the water out of my hair as best I could and rubbed my head with the towel. Then I grabbed the Degree (Men’s) And slabbed a bunch on my underarms. I then sprayed all the visible surfaces of my skin with Axe.
“That is both disgusting,” Mollers said, “And genius.” I grinned.
“My face is green,” Frank frowned.
The Starbuck’s we had our meeting at was a ways away from where our buses had parked for the night, so Gerard was nice enough to walk with us.
And by nice, I mean protective because we were in a freaking nowhere land in Idaho and were scared shitless. But the place had a Starbuck’s, so life could’ve been worse.
Drew and Mark would not slow down the entire way there. At first we tried to keep up with them, but finally got too impatient and just let them walk twenty feet ahead of us, hopping and skipping like crazy people.
When we finally got there, we stared around the Starbuck’s. And swear to God it was a dead place. I think there were four people in there. One of them was sitting in the shadows, a steaming latte in front of him, growing cold as he whipped his thumbs over a Blackberry’s QWERTY board.
It was Jared fucking Leto.
I wanted to pass out.
He smiled at us and waved, most likely just recognizing Gerard and assuming who we were. Gerard didn’t really notice our reactions and just strode across the room and bro-hugged Jared. I started to walk toward the two when I realized Drew and Mark were stuck.
“Guys,” I hissed. “C’mon.”
Drew had sunglasses on, but if I knew her like I did I knew her eyes were wide. Mark’s forehead gleamed with nervous sweat. Levi sighed and walked behind them, pushing them by the small of their backs and therefore forcing them to walk.
As excited and nervous as I was, I tried to walk confidently. I almost stepped on my shoelace and tripped but caught myself at the last minute.
“How are you? It’s been fucking forever!” Gerard was saying to Jared.
“Great, great. How are you? Tour going well?” Jared’s smile was seriously making me nervous. In the best of ways.
“So fun, best in a while.” Gerard saw me coming up first and put and arm around my shoulder. “Speaking of, this girl here is--”
“Clayah Shier,” Jared smiled. “Lead singer for Rush And Ruin.”
Jared Leto knew who I was.
Jared Leto knew who I was.
Now would be a good time to speak.
I smiled and stuck my hand out, shaking his. “Right on, how’d you know that?”
Jared smiled. “Everyone in the music world knows who you are now. You’re a freaking legend.”
I was taken aback. “I am?”
“Absolutely, all of you are! Everyone wants to be you! Your story’s so unrealistic it’s believable.”
I laughed. “We’re just lucky.”
“Ah ah ah,” Jared wagged a finger at me. “Don’t say that. Talented. No argument because I’ve got your album pre-ordered.” He winked at me.
Lord, take me now.
Jared looked over my head. “And this is the rest of Rush And Ruin.”
Levi and Monster introduced themselves while Mark and Drew attempted composure.
Mark talked to him first. “Hi, I’m Mark. Guitarist, and a really huge fan.”
“Aw, thank you.” Jared turned to Drew. “And this is Drew Bryant. I believe I’m your birthday present.”
Drew never ever ever had fan girl moments. But in that space in time she was an inch from death, stuck in statue mode.
“H-h…hi.”
“Your manager said you might do that.” Drew flushed a dark shade of red.
This was the moment we all learned just how nice a person Jared Leto is.
Instead of shaking her hand, Jared let himself past the rest of us and gathered Drew in a huge hug. “Happy birthday, Drew. It’s great to meet you.”
When he pulled away, Drew’s face was completely giddy with joy. She looked at the band.
“Best birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” she said to us. She was even choking up a bit. She turned to Gerard. “And your drumsticks.”
We didn’t get back to the buses until sound check. We had spent three hours talking to Jared, always letting him know how thankful we were for the fact the he was working with us.
“Honestly, I’m honored that you even asked,” he said. “You guys are my favorite band right now. I normally just work with 30 Seconds To Mars but there’s no way in hell I would’ve turned this down.”
Once Drew had calmed down, she and Jared really clicked idea wise. Drew and I were absolutely the ones for detail; the entire band had an idea, which Jared was totally for, but Drew and I were really throwing ourselves into it. Gerard just sat in his chair, smiling and observing this newfound friendship.
Jared knew. I absolutely trusted him, and I figured he was probably entitled to be let in on it, since only Rush And Ruin was unaware.
Entitled?
Oh God, listen to me. I’m insane. I felt like a complete asshole thinking someone was more entitled to knowing than my own little sister. That title was freaking me out less and less each day considering it was always on my mind, but a new sort of anxiety also came with that.
Jared’s reaction was unpredictable to me, but I figured he would take it well. Which, luckily, he did.
He just nodded. “When are you planning on telling her?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. Mikey’s having a harder time with him than I am.” I explained the differences between our relationships with Clayah. “Call us gutless, but… well, it’s just plain scary.”
“Gerard, I love you to pieces. Mikey too.” He put a supportive hand on my shoulder. “But this girl is 14, starting a whole new life. And there’s a pretty big piece of that life missing. Personally I don’t think that’s fair to her.”
“Neither do I, but… Jared how would you feel?”
He considered that for a moment. “Scared shitless.”
“Exactly.”
“BUT.” Jared put a lecturing finger in my face. “Even more so I would feel like on guilty bastard for hiding it.”
One of the things I absolutely despised about Jared:
He was always right in the most painful of ways.
But I knew he would never tell her. He was better than that. More honorable. As soon as he heard Mollers side he agreed without blinking. But Jared agreed to [try and] put the whole situation out of his mind and only focus on the video.
That day in the Starbuck’s, something really hit me. I watched these five kids throw themselves out to Jared, even though they hardly knew him, their hearts all in their ideas even when Jared tried to improve them. They took all correction with grace whereas most kids would get a sting and argue furiously for themselves. The most mature bunch of teenagers I’ve ever met.
Clayah and Drew must have dreamt everything up for their entire lives. They described each shot they wanted to see in immense detail, especially Drew.
At one point, Jared was really into one of Drew’s ideas, and proposed to her an offer that I’m sure blew her fucking mind.
“You know, Drew,” Jared said with a sip of his coffee, now growing cold because he’d been talking so much and listening so intently that he thought of nothing but the words spoken, “I would be really honored if you directed this video with me.”
Clayah’s face completely lit up. That stunned me a bit. She was such a huge fan of Jared, obviously, and most “fan girls” (not that I would really classify her with that in a way) would be bleeding jealousy. But Clayah was excited at the very thought of her friend having that opportunity. I saw just how big her heart was.
Drew’s jaw dropped. She was silent for a minute as Jared hung waiting for her answer. She surprised me a bit when she bit her lip, thinking.
She hitched a thumb at the singer sitting next to her. “Only if Clayah will do it with us.”
Jared raised his eyebrows. “That’s loyalty… absolutely!”
Cue three way hugs.
At that moment I saw a whole new side of these kids. I knew them as funny, I knew them as brave, I knew them as tough, I knew them as great performers. But this was the time I saw them as true artists. And dammit, they deserved where they were more than any band in the world.
“For those of you who don’t know,” I said into my mic, “In the early days we were always required to play covers. We really haven’t played one in a while, and for some fucky reason we miss it. So tonight for you we have a special surprise.” The crowd cheered.
“Right now we’re gonna jump into one of our favorite tracks from one of our favorite artists,” I said as the electronic echo started in. “If you know the words sing along.” Monster started into the piano piece and immediately the kids recognized it.
“No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave… No matter how many breaths that you took, you still couldn’t breathe… No matter how many nights that you lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain.” I saw Jared off on the side stage flipping on his mic. “Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go?”
Jared strode onstage toward me and sang. As soon as they saw him come out the kids went nuts.
“Heartbeat, a heartbeat I need a, heartbeat, a heart--”
Jared and I alternated for the chorus, me starting.
“Tell me would you kill, to save a life?”
“Tell me would you kill, to prove you’re right?”
“Crash--”
“Crash--”
Our voices blended. “Buuurn, let it all burn. This hurricane’s chasing us all underground.”
When the song was over, I made the kids scream as loud as they possibly could in thanks to Jared.
“And,” I said, “We would like to thank Jared for granting us the opportunity to work on our first video with Mr. Bartholomew Cubbins!”
Holy damn, they about exploded my eardrums.
“I hate you so much, Clayah Shier.”
“Oh, c’mon, you love me.” I hugged Molly with one arm and kissed her on the head.
She huffed. “Yeah, but you still suck.”
“It’s not my fault he had to go to Oregon before us!”
“Uh, yeah, it is. You needed him to set up for the video.”
“Well, we’ll be there tomorrow night, then you can see him the next morning.” This seemed to satisfy her a little bit. To make her really smile, I asked her the big question I’d had lurking in my mind for the longest time.
“Mollers,” I said, sitting cross legged on the couch and facing her. In this position I could feel the bassline Mikey was playing onstage shake my bones. “Darling dearest lover boat?”
She grinned. “What?”
I put my hands on hers seriously. “I wanna ask you a huge favor. Two, actually.”
“Hmm?”
“First… would you do the band the honor of being in our first video?”
“SERIOUSLY?”
I laughed. “We love you, you’re practically the sixth member of the band--” I didn’t even finish before she gave me a huge hug.
“ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU.”
“Wow, big mood swing in the last minute. You PMS?”
She rolled her eyes. “What’s the second favor?”
“Be a dear.” I pulled a dollar out of my pocket. “Can you please run out to the front of the venue and get me a soda? I don’t want to be seen yet, those kids are a bit nuts. Plus I gotta run to the bathroom, too.”
“Sure, no problem. Go ahead.”
Molly and I parted our separate ways. I drifted down the backstage hallway, reading every door sign and grumbling about how poorly labeled everything was.
“Clayah?”
A familiar voice I used to fear. I whipped around. “Barnabus?”
He look surprised. “Wow, you didn’t yell at me.” He got that creepy smile on his face. “Starting to feel the loooooove?”
“Hardly.” I shrugged. “Don’t get used to it. I’m in a good mood tonight.”
“Hmm.” He took a few steps closer, making me uneasy. “So. Get any big news lately?”
I looked at him sideways. “Uhm, I guess, what’s it to you?”
“Ah. Well, I was afraid I was gonna have to be the one to tell you.”
“…That makes no sense.”
“Well it’s better to hear it from SOME loved one if not them.”
I rolled my eyes. “First, you’re not a loved one. Second, ‘them’ who?”
“The--”
“BARNABUS/.” Quinn was storming down the hall toward us. “You’re not supposed to be back here! You know that!”
“I was just--”
“Like I care.” He grabbed Barnabus by the arm and dragged him down the hall, summoning a security guard around the corner.
“Keep an eye out for this kid from now on,” Quinn said. “I don’t ever want to see him back here again.” The guard took Barnabus by the shoulder and walked away with him.
Quinn walked back toward me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…” I shook my head in daze. “A little confused.”
Quinn cocked his head. “About what?”
“I dunno. Barnabus was just going to about some weird shit.”
I saw Quinn’s shoulders tense up. “Like what?”
“Something about some sort of news. Ah, whatever, he’s just--”
“What kind of news?”
“Quinn, please tell me Gerard and Mikey aren’t rubbing paranoia off on you.”
He waved me off. “No, not at all. That kid just gives me the creeps.”
“Hey, what’s going on?” Molly came back down the hall, a bottle of Dr. Pepper in hand. “Everything okay? I swore I saw Barnabus.”
“Yeah,” Quinn said. “No big deal, he just snuck backstage again.”
Molly narrowed her eyes and huffed. I was now totally confused.
“Uhm, well, I’m finally gonna use the bathroom now.” I stood up and walked a couple doors down to the bathroom.
I locked myself in a stall and ran my hands through my hair. This was fucking frustrating. I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing some huge piece of… something. Exactly my point! I was totally in the dark. The only people who seemed to be in it with me were my band.
Things just couldn’t get any more dramatic.
♠ ♠ ♠
Ohhh ho ho.But they do.
-NLWP</3