Someone out There Loves You

It was no time at all, but still too long, and I was home. The venue dates were a bit trippy so we had to fly to Wisconsin and Illinois before we hit the Dakotas. Not that I complained.
I think I was driving The Used insane. Since we were only in Illinois for a couple nights we just got two buses between the four bands—Green Day and My Chemical Romance, The Used and Rush And Ruin. Quinn was going to rip me in half.
“Will you just sit down?!” He pushed my shoulders so I was sitting. “God, just looking at you and I’m anxious.”
“Dude, how does it feel when you tour in Utah?”
“Look, I know you’re happy to be home, but you need to simmer down before my head explodes.”
“Just don’t splatter brains and shit everywhere.” Dan took a massive bite of apple. “These are new shoes.”
“Give her a break,” Jeph said. “It’s her first tour and she misses the fam.”
“I understand that but—aw, fuck it, you’re all on her side.”
“I’m not taking sides,” Bert pointed out.
“And you haven’t since the Desert Disaster,” I said flatly. “That’s getting kind of annoying. We forgive you, so can it.”
Bert shrugged. “In that case, I’m on your side.” Quinn threw his arms up in defeat.
It was mid-March now. The little bit of snow that was left was slush, slowly melting into the street drain and wedging itself into the treads of car tires. This was my least favorite time of year in the Midwest (because everything was just so GREY) but I was glad to be home.
Tonight, no one was sleeping in hotels. Or buses. We invited everyone to a proper dinner at The Bungalo. And by proper dinner I mean Spaghetti O’s (with cold spots in the meatballs), Kool Aid, and a giant jar of Nutella to be passed around and eaten straight from with spoons. Home sweet home.
But first everyone wanted to peruse the downtown area for a bit. Mark, Drew, and I all took a cab back to Barrington to see our families.
The taxi was still going about ten miles an hour when I jumped out and ran to my front door, stabbing the bell twenty million times with my finger. When my mom opened the door it was like an invisible magnet switched on between us. I nearly suffocated under hugs and kisses.
“My God, look at you!” my mom gushed. “You look so different.”
“Mom, it’s only been a couple months.”
“Yeah, and you look exhausted!”
“’Tis the life.”
We walked into the living room and it struck me how much I missed the smell of my house—my mom’s eucalyptus, my dad’s faint scent of Old Spice, clean laundry. I used to take these smells for granted. Now I just wanted to shove it in a bottle and keep it in my pocket forever.
“Want some coffee?” my mom asked.
“Mom, it’s me.” She giggled and shuffled off into the kitchen.
I plopped on the old red velvet couch. My favorite blanket was strewn over the top and I couldn’t resist but snuggle up under it, burying my face in and inhaling deeply.
“So where’s Dad?” I called into the kitchen.
“Work,” Mom said. “But he’s guaranteed to be off tomorrow night, including off call. So we’ll be at your show for sure.”
“Awesome, I’ll set something up and get you guys passes backstage. You’ve got to meet all the guys, they’re great. And Molly.”
“Who’s Molly?” Mom strode in and handed me my coffee, taking a seat on the end of the couch and crossing her legs Indian style to face me.
“Frank Iero’s daughter,” I said.
“He’s one of the guitarist’s for My Chemical Romance, right?”
“Yeah. Molly’s sixteen and she and I have gotten really close. We’re like best friends. Although Gerard and Mikey and I are really close, too.” I saw something flash on my mom’s face. “What?”
“No, I was just trying to remember them, too.”
“Oh.”
“So you’re having a good time?”
“Hell yes!” I drank some of my coffee. “It’s been a blast. How’s the fort been holding down since I’ve been gone?”
“Funny you should ask that; the Shier family has a new member!”
“Oh God, that’s gross, Grandma and Grandpa are way too old for that.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Wrong.” She stuck her fingers in her mouth and gave a long whistle.
“The hell was that for?” She held up her finger to signal for me to wait. I heard a scuffling from the basement door, and the next thing I knew a little Husky puppy jumped into my lap.
“Oh my God!” I put my coffee on the table and started scratching him behind the ears while he licked my face.
“His name is Jayce,” my mom said. “He’s a stray that just wandered up to our doorstep one night. We never found an owner, so we decided to keep him. Lucky for us he didn’t have anything disease wise.”
“How on earth do you find time for this little guy?” Jayce rolled over on my stomach so I could scratch his belly.
“That’s the problem,” Mom frowned. “It’s been really hard to do that.”
“Get a sitter or something, ask the neighbors.”
“Don’t need to. He’s yours.”
“What?”
Mom laughed. “I talked to Pete about it and he says it’s perfectly fine for you to have Jayce on the road. I’m sure he would love it. He’s a hyper little thing, as you can tell.”
“My God, Mom!” I set Jayce and the floor and gave my mom a huge hug.
“Knew you’d love him.”
I’d missed my mom’s hugs.

“Holy. Shit.”
“He’s the most fucking adorable thing I’ve ever seen!”
We all met up at a huge park in the middle of the city, and I brought Jayce with me to meet everyone. Frank, being a dog person, turned into mush.
“Well hesh jush da mostest preshus doggie, aren’t chu?” Jayce’s leg was going nuts while Frankie scratched his belly.
“My God.” Ray shook his head. “You sound like a total dipshit when you use your animal voice.”
“We all do,” Billie pointed out. “And Jayce is such a GOOD BOY.” Now Billie was gushing.
Molly was back on the bus resting for the day. She wanted to be at the show tonight and she was on the verge of a cold. I figured I could leave Jayce with her; it’d help cheer her up (she may have been more into reptiles, but who doesn’t love puppies?) Plus I needed someone to watch him while I showed everyone around the city.
She wasn’t totally for it at first. “Clayah, I don’t have the energy for a puppy. I’ll just barely have energy for the show tonight.”
“He’ll be mellow, I promise.”
“Yeah, he seems really chill.” We both watched Jayce for a moment, romping around and smelling everything in the bus.
“It’s just a couple hours, I promise.”
“Clayah…”
“I’ll bring you back soup. I know a restaurant that has the best sick-person soup in the city.”
“…Really?”
“Yepp. And I’ll bring you that Ben and Jerry’s stuff you like so much.”
“Deal. He won’t chew my Chucks, will he? CLAYAH DON’T YOU WALK OUT THAT BUS DOOR—“
“Love you, Molly!”

“This,” Gerard said, “Is probably the best slice of pizza I’ve ever had.”
“Chicago pizza is better than New York.” Mark took a huge bite of his supreme slice. “Always has been.”
“I could argue that,” Tre said.
“I suggest you don’t,” I whispered and nudged him. “Mark’s very defensive about the pizza thing.”
“That’s kind of weird,” Tre whispered back.
“You know, I can hear you,” Mark said.
I grinned at him. “Love you, bro… Tre’s the one who said it, anyway.”
“Thanks for the backup, Clayah.”
“Anytime.” I winked. “Now, if you guys will excuse me, I have to run across the street quick. I promised Mollers ice cream.”
“I’ll go with you,” Mikey wolfed down the rest of his slice. “I could use some.”
“Mikey you just had three slices of pizza.” My argument was pointless; Mikey was going to follow me whether or not I wanted him to.
“I’m a growing boy.”
“You’re thirty.”
“Ice cream is ice cream, now let’s go.”
Mikey and I just left our coats with everyone else and dealt with the cold blast as we jaywalked. You wouldn’t ever think and ice cream shop would be warm. Unfortunately there was a really long line, so I got to hold Molly’s pint from the freezer and let my fingers freeze. Mikey and I just talked for a little bit until I heard—
“Shier!”
In that voice, I was surprised I didn’t hear “Shit” before it.
Madison beamed falsely at me while she hung from Darren’s arm. “Hi Clayah!” She blew me away when she hugged me. “I didn’t know you were back in the city! You should’ve called me.” The disgusting part was her trying to sound serious.
I beamed back at her, being even more fake. “Hi Madison! I didn’t know you ate!” I gestured to the ice cream shop around us.” You should call your doctor, he’ll be so proud.” It was taking all she had not to sneer at me.
“Darren and I have missed you so much,” Madison tried again.
“Oh, I’m sure you have.” If there was one thing I knew about Madison, it was that there was no level of low she wouldn’t stoop to for any shot at five minutes of fame. Even if it was something she hated—like me and the band—she’d still butter them up. Exhibit A.
Madison looked over at Mikey. “Oh! This is Mickey Way, right?” She held out her hand to shake his. Mikey knew she was full of shit and just kind of stared at it.
“It’s Mikey, actually,” he said. “And who are you?”
“Whatever,” I heard Madison mumble. “I’m Clayah’s friend, Madison.”
“HA!” I couldn’t help but be highly amused by that comment. “Yeah, and I’m sure King Kong there is my friend, too.” I nodded my head to Darren, who was too distracted by the ice cream behind the glass to respond to my comment. No doubt trying to figure out what color the vanilla was. “Let me give Mikey a real answer: Mikey, this is Madison. And evil bitch who has tortured me for years and an absolute whore. Slut though she may be, her boyfriend—Darren here—is too stupid to figure that out. Pff, not like he’s much better. You’re looking at the most anti productive relationship in the history of high school ‘sweethearts.’”
Madison and Darren (who had finally tuned in) were staring at me with the urge to kill. Mikey was fighting the urge to laugh.
“Oh, I’m not done.” Dear Jesus I’d been waiting forever to do this. “As for Darren, he’s an asshole football player who used to beat me in the gut before class. Isn’t that right, Darren? Yeah, it is. So you see Mikey, this would be the Wicked Witch and her flying monkey (which he might as well be) paying a nice little visit to the rest of Oz.”
Mikey was giggling next to me. Madison was huffing and puffing like a broken steam engine.
“W-w-we…UGH, forget it!” She stamped her foot. “This is so not worth my time.”
“Oh, absolutely not,” I nodded. “So go abuse Daddy’s platinum, Madison honey. Because if you don’t mind I’d like to get back to my meaningful life that is so far below yours.”
Madison stamped her foot again. “Fuck you, you stupid little emo bitch.”
I winced. “Now now, is that any way to talk to a friend? Although I have missed your pet names.”
“Rot in hell.”
“That’s original.”
Madison gave a yank on Darren’s arm. “Come on, Darren, we’re leaving.”
“But I wanted ice cream—“
“WE’RE LEAVING.”
As they were going, Darren looked back at me with a challenging grin. “You’ll never stop being Shit Shier.” That was more like it. And they were gone.
“That was pretty much the best verbal beat down I have ever seen.” Mikey was actually looking at me with a sense of pride. “And knowing you it was entirely deserved?”
“Completely.” I started laughing. “That was fun. That was really fun. I wasn’t too bitchy, was I?”
“To someone as plastic as I’m sure Madison was,” Mikey said, “There was probably no comparison.”
I needed to come home more often. Sure, I knew Madison would probably go moan to the entire school. But I wasn’t there so it’s not as if I gave a damn. I really did want her to get back at me, though—if I was going to do what I just did again I wanted someone to get that on camera.

We dragged the group to the best little record store in the city, where Ray had a field day and came out with an armful of vinyls.
“Dude, we can barely afford Oreos,” Drew said, staring at Ray’s haul with envy. “That’s not fair.”
“Hey, they’re not exactly fun to carry.” Ray hoisted them up for emphasis. Drew still wasn’t convinced.
Right then, we were walking past the Glamour Kills store. I grinned. “Ray, I’m going to turn you into an indie kid. You need a bag for those, anyways.”
Gerard and Bert copped out, needing to buy cigarettes, but everyone just trailed in behind me while I strode into the store. The band and I had come in here a million times (Glamour Kills was kind of pricey, but Mark claimed they had the most comfortable jeans in the world, and he hated to shop alone) but the rest of the guys looked like fish out of water.
I strolled to the back wall where all the bags and stuff were. “Pick one, Ray. They’re durable so pick well.” I could hear Frank and Quinn running around the store acting like girls and talking about how much they liked a bunch of different tshirts.
“Uh, Clayah?” Billie came up behind me. “I think we should make this quick.”
“Why’s that?”
“Look.” He jerked his head and I turned to see a group of kids giving us skeptical looks. No… not skeptical. One of them was wearing a Rush And Ruin tshirt.
“Oh,” I said. “This kind of changes things. Ray, pick faster.”
“Okay now we really should go,” Billie said. “They’re doing that fan-hover thing.”
“And,” Jeph came up to me, “There’s some kid in a My Chemical Romance shirt coming in the door. With a lot of friends.” I turned to look and he wasn’t kidding.
“Shopping over.” I grabbed a bag of the shelf and shuffled Ray to the counter. “No one call anyone else by name, got it?”
“Quinn! QUINN!” Frank was walking out of the dressing room in a magenta guys tank top. “Tell me this isn’t the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen.”
Quinn gave a cat call. “Frank Iero, you are irresistible.”
“Watch yourselves, ladies!” Tre came out of the dressing room that was next to Frank’s, wearing the tightest pair of bright blue jeans I’ve ever seen. “Tre Cool is a Smurf.”
All the kid’s ears had perked, and they looked like dogs about to attack. I turned to the guy behind the counter. “Everything they’re wearing, we’ll take that, too.” Jeph ran over and started to herd them toward the door. Even as our group was on our way out the kid’s were watching us. We walked faster.
Bert and Gerard were coming in just as we were coming out. “Why do you guys look all anxious?” Bert asked.
“Frank?” Gerard said flatly, analyzing Frank’s new threads. “…Can I borrow that sometime?”
“Not a chance, this is my fancy shirt now.”
“Fankids in the store,” I explained to Bert. “We need to haul ass back to the bus—“
“Too late,” Mike said.
Both packs were coming out of the store now, and worse yet there were more across the street. Then one of them screamed, “HOLY SHIT!” and pointed to us.
“Oh God.” Monster and Levi, after years of friendship, reflexively grabbed onto each other. “What do we do?”
I sighed. “We run.”
All of us looked between each other, and just as the kids started to charge, we dashed down the street.