Status: Completed
Someone out There Loves You
The End.
All of us were sscattered around the hospital now; some in the emergency room, some in the waiting room of the ICU. By the time we were cleaned up Clayah was out of surgery and in her room. The three of us dressed in scrubs until out clothes were dry and headed to Clayah’s room to wait with Claire and Todd.
The same nurse as before stopped us. “I’m sorry, but I can only let four visitors in the room at once when she’s in her condition. Claire and Todd are already in there.”
“You go,” Mollers said to us. She obviously wanted to come in, but understood that we had to. “I’ll go wait with Frank and everyone else.” We hugged her tightly and she headed off.
Mikey and I cautiously approached the sliding doors. “I can’t do this,” Mikey said, gripping the handle. “I can’t see her like that.”
I understood that perfectly. But I unwrapped my brother’s fingers from the handle and slid the door open. When I pushed the blinds on the other side away, the first thing I saw was Claire and Todd at Clayah’s bedside. Then I saw Clayah.
Her face was cut in a thousand different places, parts of it covered in guaze. Her leg was elevated from overhead and her arm rested on a stiff pillow. The only sounds were Claire’s ragged breathing, the oxygen mask on Clayah’s face, and a heart monitor next to the IV drip.
Mikey and I froze in place. Todd looked up at us with his puffed, bloodshot eyes. “She’s stable right now,” he said to us. (It wasn’t like ‘hello’ or other formalities would’ve mattered, all we wanted to know was Clayah’s condition.) “She goes back in an hour.” The clock on the wall read 2am.
“I got you boys coffee,” Claire said sweetly. She looked almost as bad as Clayah: normally gorgeous, her nose was red and her green eyes swelled, thin black lines coming down where she’d tried to wipe away running mascara. She pointed to a table in the corner where two cups waited, and then two chairs on the other side of Clayah’s bed. “Sit.”
We grabbed our drinks and took our places at the bedside. Shit, Clayah looked even worse up close. “Can she hear us?” I asked.
“Well, you know what they say about people in comas.” Todd took a swig from his own coffee cup.
I would’ve reached out and held my sister’s hand in mine if it hadn’t been sticking out limply from a plaster mold. I wanted her to hear me, I wanted her to forgive me… but most of all I wanted her to live.
“Claire?” Mikey was saying. Claire’s head had fallen and she snapped up again. “Claire, you need to rest.”
“Like I’d be able to sleep.”
“You’ll kill yourself waiting around like this,” I said. “We can stay with her. You need to go home and rest.”
“They’re right, honey,” Todd said. “You need to get some sleep. If you need to I can get someone to drive you home. If you need to I can get you some melotonin—“
“I meant you too, Todd.” Mikey said firmly. “We’ll stay and someone can drive you both home.” The Shiers clearly wanted to fight. But being a doctor and a doctor’s wife, they knew we were right.
Drew and Monster took them home and stayed. Drew called up forty five minutes later. “They both took some sleeping pills and should be out for a while,” She said. “Jayce is the only one of us who won’t sit still. How are you guys holding up?”
“We’re perfectly fine,” I told her.
She paused. “No, you’re hypocrites. You need to rest, too.”
“We’ll sleep in here then,” Mikey said. Two other people can come in. Everyone will rotate. But we’re not going anywhere.”
“Mikey—“
“Drew, do you have any idea the things she said to us?” Mikey’s eyes were fogged up. “If something was to happen and we weren’t here, we couldn’t live with that.”
I could picture Drew nodding. “Fine. We’ll stay here then. Call us when something, anything happens. She coughs, you click my contact.”
We promised and hung up.
“I’m going to step out and call Lyn-Z and Alicia quick,” Mikey said. “Before the doctors come to wheel her out. You alright on your own for a minute?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. Find Mollers and Frank while you’re out there. Molly will want to be in here.”
When Mikey stepped out, I just sat back and looked at my sleeping sister. I wanted to talk to her, but even with painkillers I knew she’d be hurting if she was conscious. Better to wait for her surgeries. I checked the door, worried I might look ridiculous.
“Clayah?” I whispered. Of course, there was no response, no matter how much I’d hoped for one. “Clayah… we’re so sorry. We should have told you and we know that now.” I touched her good hand, which was freezing. (Mikey and I had moved there once Todd and Claire left..) “But if you can hear me, we love you. And I promise Lyn-Z that I’d say she and Alicia love you too.” I hoped Clayah could feel me try to smile.
I pulled a hand over my face to keep my eyes open. “Please pull through this, Clayah. Please. And give me and Mikey a chance to prove to you that we care. You may never forgive us and that’s fine, I won’t blame you. But I hope that you will. We missed all those years with you and can never get them back. But at least let us have the rest of our lives worth.”
Mikey came in then, so I pulled back and shut up. “Lyn-Z wants you to call her,” he told me. “But they both send their love.”
I nodded. “I will in a minute. Once the doctor comes in and—“
Just then the door opened. Speak of the devil. With the help of two orderlies, Clayah was wheeled out to her next half hour under the knife. Mikey looked at me. He knew I’d been making that excuse because I didn’t want to leave. Idea broken.
Frank and Molly hadn’t come in yet. Frank had dragged Mollers down to the cafeteria, forcing hospital food down her throat so she wouldn’t die, too.
Oh God, I said ‘too.’ As in ‘also.’ As in the thought that my sister might—
Shut up, Mikey.
Gerard sat next to me, his head near Clayah’s legs, finally asleep. He and I had taken turns sleeping on and off, but neither of us could keep our eyes closed longer than ten minutes. I took a moment to check if he was really asleep, then turned to my sister.
The sight of those cuts on my face wrenched something in my chest. The fact that she needed and oxygen mask to breathe because a rib was close to puncturing her lung was a sick thought. Her arm and leg were wrapped in casts in the hope that she may live long enough to lift and mic and walk again.
I thought…if people in comas can hear…
I leaned forward and cleared my throat. “Hey, kiddo,” I said quietly. “Sorry, I know you hate that. I just… I needed to say something to you. I hope it’s not the last chance I have. Because I want you to HEAR me when I apologize for being such a bastard. I say that for Gerard, too. Be mad at the two of us all you want, but you shouldn’t be mad at Molly. Ever. She loves you. Not that we don’t but…”
Ugh, I sucked at this. I ran a hand through my hair and gathered my thoughts. “Molly was the one who wanted to tell you from the start. Gerard and I were just too damn stupid to do it. She tried, we tried, your dad tried. Blame us. PLEASE blame us. And no one else. Especially not Molly. Anyone can see how much you two need each other.”
I was gasping for air now. I was sick of crying. “Please don’t go, Clayah, don’t leave us.” I refused to say the word ‘die.’ “Please.”
I was out of words and out of air. I leaned down and kissed Clayah’s hand. Exhaustion took over; my neck hurt so much. I lay my head down next to my brother, facing Clayah. I closed my eyes and yawned.
“I fyou can hear me,” I murmured, “I love you, Clayah.” Then I was out.
I couldn't breathe.
This hospital was too white. Too clean. Too...nostalgic?
No. That is not at all the right word.
Terrifying.
I was flying back in time to the day when I met the Ways and Frank and I couldn't breathe and everything was collapsing in on me because Clayah was in my place even though they were entirely different situations but I just can't focus on anything and I need to get out of here I can't stand it I want to go home I want to go back to Jersey someone save me oh God-
Frank put his hand on my shoulder.
“Mollers. You look like a ghost.”
I glanced at him, and he pushed me towards the door.
“Get some air. Mikey's in there right now. Just go.”
I didn't wait to see if it was really okay. I fast walked to the elevator, taking shallow breaths of the bleach soaked air. When I finally hit the ground floor I was almost sobbing, trying miserably to hold it all in while all the memories and thoughts hit me like a tidal wave. The needle that was in my arm was the needle in Clayah's arm. The scabs on my arms were now the scabs on Clayah's forehead. The hospital gown I wore might be Clayah's death shroud.
Oh God.
I sprinted out of that hospital and hit the clean air outside, choking on my own tears. I gulped in the cool Chicago air through sobs and I somehow dialed the numbers I had programed into my head as I fell onto the grass in the hospital's garden.
“Hello-”
“Jack I am so sorry I am so stupid I don't know what's wrong with me oh God I need help please.”
“Love, what's wrong?”
“They finally told her, Jack, and she freaked out and she ran away and we went looking for her and it took forever because we're in fucking Chicago so she knows the city like the back of her damn hand and when we finally found her she was getting wailed on by this bully from her old school and she was losing so much blood. Oh God, she lost so much blood, Jack. And so we called the hospital and we're here now and I hate it so much and she's in a coma but she might...Oh God, C-Clayah might-”
I couldn't even finish I was sobbing so hard. I just sobbed and sobbed and Jack murmured stupid sweet nothings that were probably meant to help but they just fell flat because all I wanted was to be with him and sob into his chest and have him hold me while I fell apart. My best friend could be dying and I'd already done what I could by giving a shit ton of blood. It wasn't enough. It couldn't be enough.
“Molly, everything will be okay.”
“How do you know, Jack? How could you know?”
“Because from what I've heard of this girl, she's a fighter. Just like you were way back before I met you.”
I barely smiled. I knew he was trying to help, but I couldn't help but think that at the time I hadn't been a fighter. I had been someone who had been ready to give up everything because my boyfriend of barely more than half a year had broken up with me for the school slut. I was even more ashamed of my scars now than I had ever been. They glared at me, long, white reminders carved into my skin.
“Molly,” he said, as if reading my mind, “I know you're a fighter. You were then because you decided that day to stop cutting. Anyone else might not have been able to. You're a fighter because you're alive.”
“I'm sorry.”
“For what?”
“For earlier on the tour. When we got into that fight for no reason. The one that made me stop calling until now.”
“It's okay.”
“No it's not. I was mad at Mikey and Gerard, not you. I shouldn't have screamed at you like that.”
“Molly, it's okay.”
“No, it's not. I was so afraid that it was over for us.”
“Mollers. I love you. It wouldn't be over just because of a stupid fight that meant nothing.”
I couldn't help but actually smile.
“I love you too.”
“I love you more. Now I think you might've been away from Clayah for too long. What if she woke up while you were on the phone with me, huh?”
“Yeah, okay. I miss you.”
“I miss you more.”
“I miss you most.”
I hung up, smiling at the old goodbye. Then I looked up at the menacing building that stood before me. I took a deep breath, got up, and went back inside and up to Clayah's floor.
Frank smiled weakly at me and I rubbed some of the mascara and eyeliner away from my eyes, which was most likely just smeared across my face instead of wiped off.
I pointed to Clayah's room, using that psychic thing that parents and kids had sometimes to ask if Clayah was awake.
Frank shrugged and nodded towards the door.
I went in to find Mikey and Gerard asleep on Clayah's legs. Clayah's machines were still beeping and being over all obnoxious, and I forced myself to not think of “The End.”
I pulled a chair up to Clayah's side and I took her hand.
“Clayah? I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here.”
No response. Obviously.
I took a deep breath, despite that I was practically choked by all the bleach in the air.
“Clayah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I wanted to, but your idiot brothers made me promise not to. I was going to tell you at the scavenger hunt, but then Tre totally killed the moment and then I couldn't. I'm sorry, Firework Lips. I'm so sorry. You knew all this stuff about me and I couldn't tell you the one thing that's the most important about your identity. Family.”
I saw something wet drop onto Clayah's arm.
I was fucking crying again.
“Don't you fucking give up on me, though. I promise to never keep things from you anymore. I'll be the best friend ever. I won't share your secrets and I'll make sure that you know about things that happen right away and I won't ever give up on you. So don't you give up on me. Don't you fucking let go. You're my best friend. I love you, Firework Lips.”
I took another deep, shuddering breath and rested my head on the section of mattress next to her hand that I promised myself I wouldn't let go.
“If you can hear me, just squeeze my hand. Clayah, just squeeze my hand.”
I kept murmuring that as I fell asleep.
The only sound in the room now was the monitor. Molly and Mikey and I didn’t say a word to one another. “When’s she headed out for the next surgery?” I asked.
I looked at my watch. “Just a couple minutes.” We were all tap our feet in terrified anticipation. “The doctor said… this is the most risky surgery. Not blood wise. They’ve got plenty of that from everyone.”
I put my chin in my hands and looked at Mikey. He better give me a straight answer. “They’re going at the brain bleed, aren’t they?”
Even I knew the answer to that. “Yeah,” I nodded. “They are.”
”It’s going to take well over an hour,” I explained. “If all goes well she’ll wake up within a few hours after.”
Frank came back in the room with a pillow for me. “It’s not very big,” he said, “But it’ll do.” He opened his hand where he held three little blue pills. “Each of you take one. Doctor’s orders. They’re sleeping pills.”
”No chance in hell I’m sleeping through this,” I said.
Frank shrugged. “Think of it this way: If she has to, you have to.” He pointed to a chair and a loveseat in the corner. “Sleep.”
I gave up and just grabbed a pill, swallowing it dry. It tasted bitter and I wanted to gag, but I just didn’t have the energy. I grabbed the pillow and settled myself onto the couch.
I followed Molly’s example and took a pill down, swallowing it with cold coffee. I slowly stood and walked to the chair, collapsing.
I took the last blue pill. Frank nodded at all of us in approval. I zipped up my jacket and lay down on the floor. Gerard put his feet under my head to use as a pillow.
Clayah was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
Clayah was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
Clayah was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
The same nurse as before stopped us. “I’m sorry, but I can only let four visitors in the room at once when she’s in her condition. Claire and Todd are already in there.”
“You go,” Mollers said to us. She obviously wanted to come in, but understood that we had to. “I’ll go wait with Frank and everyone else.” We hugged her tightly and she headed off.
Mikey and I cautiously approached the sliding doors. “I can’t do this,” Mikey said, gripping the handle. “I can’t see her like that.”
I understood that perfectly. But I unwrapped my brother’s fingers from the handle and slid the door open. When I pushed the blinds on the other side away, the first thing I saw was Claire and Todd at Clayah’s bedside. Then I saw Clayah.
Her face was cut in a thousand different places, parts of it covered in guaze. Her leg was elevated from overhead and her arm rested on a stiff pillow. The only sounds were Claire’s ragged breathing, the oxygen mask on Clayah’s face, and a heart monitor next to the IV drip.
Mikey and I froze in place. Todd looked up at us with his puffed, bloodshot eyes. “She’s stable right now,” he said to us. (It wasn’t like ‘hello’ or other formalities would’ve mattered, all we wanted to know was Clayah’s condition.) “She goes back in an hour.” The clock on the wall read 2am.
“I got you boys coffee,” Claire said sweetly. She looked almost as bad as Clayah: normally gorgeous, her nose was red and her green eyes swelled, thin black lines coming down where she’d tried to wipe away running mascara. She pointed to a table in the corner where two cups waited, and then two chairs on the other side of Clayah’s bed. “Sit.”
We grabbed our drinks and took our places at the bedside. Shit, Clayah looked even worse up close. “Can she hear us?” I asked.
“Well, you know what they say about people in comas.” Todd took a swig from his own coffee cup.
I would’ve reached out and held my sister’s hand in mine if it hadn’t been sticking out limply from a plaster mold. I wanted her to hear me, I wanted her to forgive me… but most of all I wanted her to live.
“Claire?” Mikey was saying. Claire’s head had fallen and she snapped up again. “Claire, you need to rest.”
“Like I’d be able to sleep.”
“You’ll kill yourself waiting around like this,” I said. “We can stay with her. You need to go home and rest.”
“They’re right, honey,” Todd said. “You need to get some sleep. If you need to I can get someone to drive you home. If you need to I can get you some melotonin—“
“I meant you too, Todd.” Mikey said firmly. “We’ll stay and someone can drive you both home.” The Shiers clearly wanted to fight. But being a doctor and a doctor’s wife, they knew we were right.
Drew and Monster took them home and stayed. Drew called up forty five minutes later. “They both took some sleeping pills and should be out for a while,” She said. “Jayce is the only one of us who won’t sit still. How are you guys holding up?”
“We’re perfectly fine,” I told her.
She paused. “No, you’re hypocrites. You need to rest, too.”
“We’ll sleep in here then,” Mikey said. Two other people can come in. Everyone will rotate. But we’re not going anywhere.”
“Mikey—“
“Drew, do you have any idea the things she said to us?” Mikey’s eyes were fogged up. “If something was to happen and we weren’t here, we couldn’t live with that.”
I could picture Drew nodding. “Fine. We’ll stay here then. Call us when something, anything happens. She coughs, you click my contact.”
We promised and hung up.
“I’m going to step out and call Lyn-Z and Alicia quick,” Mikey said. “Before the doctors come to wheel her out. You alright on your own for a minute?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. Find Mollers and Frank while you’re out there. Molly will want to be in here.”
When Mikey stepped out, I just sat back and looked at my sleeping sister. I wanted to talk to her, but even with painkillers I knew she’d be hurting if she was conscious. Better to wait for her surgeries. I checked the door, worried I might look ridiculous.
“Clayah?” I whispered. Of course, there was no response, no matter how much I’d hoped for one. “Clayah… we’re so sorry. We should have told you and we know that now.” I touched her good hand, which was freezing. (Mikey and I had moved there once Todd and Claire left..) “But if you can hear me, we love you. And I promise Lyn-Z that I’d say she and Alicia love you too.” I hoped Clayah could feel me try to smile.
I pulled a hand over my face to keep my eyes open. “Please pull through this, Clayah. Please. And give me and Mikey a chance to prove to you that we care. You may never forgive us and that’s fine, I won’t blame you. But I hope that you will. We missed all those years with you and can never get them back. But at least let us have the rest of our lives worth.”
Mikey came in then, so I pulled back and shut up. “Lyn-Z wants you to call her,” he told me. “But they both send their love.”
I nodded. “I will in a minute. Once the doctor comes in and—“
Just then the door opened. Speak of the devil. With the help of two orderlies, Clayah was wheeled out to her next half hour under the knife. Mikey looked at me. He knew I’d been making that excuse because I didn’t want to leave. Idea broken.
Frank and Molly hadn’t come in yet. Frank had dragged Mollers down to the cafeteria, forcing hospital food down her throat so she wouldn’t die, too.
Oh God, I said ‘too.’ As in ‘also.’ As in the thought that my sister might—
Shut up, Mikey.
Gerard sat next to me, his head near Clayah’s legs, finally asleep. He and I had taken turns sleeping on and off, but neither of us could keep our eyes closed longer than ten minutes. I took a moment to check if he was really asleep, then turned to my sister.
The sight of those cuts on my face wrenched something in my chest. The fact that she needed and oxygen mask to breathe because a rib was close to puncturing her lung was a sick thought. Her arm and leg were wrapped in casts in the hope that she may live long enough to lift and mic and walk again.
I thought…if people in comas can hear…
I leaned forward and cleared my throat. “Hey, kiddo,” I said quietly. “Sorry, I know you hate that. I just… I needed to say something to you. I hope it’s not the last chance I have. Because I want you to HEAR me when I apologize for being such a bastard. I say that for Gerard, too. Be mad at the two of us all you want, but you shouldn’t be mad at Molly. Ever. She loves you. Not that we don’t but…”
Ugh, I sucked at this. I ran a hand through my hair and gathered my thoughts. “Molly was the one who wanted to tell you from the start. Gerard and I were just too damn stupid to do it. She tried, we tried, your dad tried. Blame us. PLEASE blame us. And no one else. Especially not Molly. Anyone can see how much you two need each other.”
I was gasping for air now. I was sick of crying. “Please don’t go, Clayah, don’t leave us.” I refused to say the word ‘die.’ “Please.”
I was out of words and out of air. I leaned down and kissed Clayah’s hand. Exhaustion took over; my neck hurt so much. I lay my head down next to my brother, facing Clayah. I closed my eyes and yawned.
“I fyou can hear me,” I murmured, “I love you, Clayah.” Then I was out.
I couldn't breathe.
This hospital was too white. Too clean. Too...nostalgic?
No. That is not at all the right word.
Terrifying.
I was flying back in time to the day when I met the Ways and Frank and I couldn't breathe and everything was collapsing in on me because Clayah was in my place even though they were entirely different situations but I just can't focus on anything and I need to get out of here I can't stand it I want to go home I want to go back to Jersey someone save me oh God-
Frank put his hand on my shoulder.
“Mollers. You look like a ghost.”
I glanced at him, and he pushed me towards the door.
“Get some air. Mikey's in there right now. Just go.”
I didn't wait to see if it was really okay. I fast walked to the elevator, taking shallow breaths of the bleach soaked air. When I finally hit the ground floor I was almost sobbing, trying miserably to hold it all in while all the memories and thoughts hit me like a tidal wave. The needle that was in my arm was the needle in Clayah's arm. The scabs on my arms were now the scabs on Clayah's forehead. The hospital gown I wore might be Clayah's death shroud.
Oh God.
I sprinted out of that hospital and hit the clean air outside, choking on my own tears. I gulped in the cool Chicago air through sobs and I somehow dialed the numbers I had programed into my head as I fell onto the grass in the hospital's garden.
“Hello-”
“Jack I am so sorry I am so stupid I don't know what's wrong with me oh God I need help please.”
“Love, what's wrong?”
“They finally told her, Jack, and she freaked out and she ran away and we went looking for her and it took forever because we're in fucking Chicago so she knows the city like the back of her damn hand and when we finally found her she was getting wailed on by this bully from her old school and she was losing so much blood. Oh God, she lost so much blood, Jack. And so we called the hospital and we're here now and I hate it so much and she's in a coma but she might...Oh God, C-Clayah might-”
I couldn't even finish I was sobbing so hard. I just sobbed and sobbed and Jack murmured stupid sweet nothings that were probably meant to help but they just fell flat because all I wanted was to be with him and sob into his chest and have him hold me while I fell apart. My best friend could be dying and I'd already done what I could by giving a shit ton of blood. It wasn't enough. It couldn't be enough.
“Molly, everything will be okay.”
“How do you know, Jack? How could you know?”
“Because from what I've heard of this girl, she's a fighter. Just like you were way back before I met you.”
I barely smiled. I knew he was trying to help, but I couldn't help but think that at the time I hadn't been a fighter. I had been someone who had been ready to give up everything because my boyfriend of barely more than half a year had broken up with me for the school slut. I was even more ashamed of my scars now than I had ever been. They glared at me, long, white reminders carved into my skin.
“Molly,” he said, as if reading my mind, “I know you're a fighter. You were then because you decided that day to stop cutting. Anyone else might not have been able to. You're a fighter because you're alive.”
“I'm sorry.”
“For what?”
“For earlier on the tour. When we got into that fight for no reason. The one that made me stop calling until now.”
“It's okay.”
“No it's not. I was mad at Mikey and Gerard, not you. I shouldn't have screamed at you like that.”
“Molly, it's okay.”
“No, it's not. I was so afraid that it was over for us.”
“Mollers. I love you. It wouldn't be over just because of a stupid fight that meant nothing.”
I couldn't help but actually smile.
“I love you too.”
“I love you more. Now I think you might've been away from Clayah for too long. What if she woke up while you were on the phone with me, huh?”
“Yeah, okay. I miss you.”
“I miss you more.”
“I miss you most.”
I hung up, smiling at the old goodbye. Then I looked up at the menacing building that stood before me. I took a deep breath, got up, and went back inside and up to Clayah's floor.
Frank smiled weakly at me and I rubbed some of the mascara and eyeliner away from my eyes, which was most likely just smeared across my face instead of wiped off.
I pointed to Clayah's room, using that psychic thing that parents and kids had sometimes to ask if Clayah was awake.
Frank shrugged and nodded towards the door.
I went in to find Mikey and Gerard asleep on Clayah's legs. Clayah's machines were still beeping and being over all obnoxious, and I forced myself to not think of “The End.”
I pulled a chair up to Clayah's side and I took her hand.
“Clayah? I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here.”
No response. Obviously.
I took a deep breath, despite that I was practically choked by all the bleach in the air.
“Clayah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I wanted to, but your idiot brothers made me promise not to. I was going to tell you at the scavenger hunt, but then Tre totally killed the moment and then I couldn't. I'm sorry, Firework Lips. I'm so sorry. You knew all this stuff about me and I couldn't tell you the one thing that's the most important about your identity. Family.”
I saw something wet drop onto Clayah's arm.
I was fucking crying again.
“Don't you fucking give up on me, though. I promise to never keep things from you anymore. I'll be the best friend ever. I won't share your secrets and I'll make sure that you know about things that happen right away and I won't ever give up on you. So don't you give up on me. Don't you fucking let go. You're my best friend. I love you, Firework Lips.”
I took another deep, shuddering breath and rested my head on the section of mattress next to her hand that I promised myself I wouldn't let go.
“If you can hear me, just squeeze my hand. Clayah, just squeeze my hand.”
I kept murmuring that as I fell asleep.
The only sound in the room now was the monitor. Molly and Mikey and I didn’t say a word to one another. “When’s she headed out for the next surgery?” I asked.
I looked at my watch. “Just a couple minutes.” We were all tap our feet in terrified anticipation. “The doctor said… this is the most risky surgery. Not blood wise. They’ve got plenty of that from everyone.”
I put my chin in my hands and looked at Mikey. He better give me a straight answer. “They’re going at the brain bleed, aren’t they?”
Even I knew the answer to that. “Yeah,” I nodded. “They are.”
”It’s going to take well over an hour,” I explained. “If all goes well she’ll wake up within a few hours after.”
Frank came back in the room with a pillow for me. “It’s not very big,” he said, “But it’ll do.” He opened his hand where he held three little blue pills. “Each of you take one. Doctor’s orders. They’re sleeping pills.”
”No chance in hell I’m sleeping through this,” I said.
Frank shrugged. “Think of it this way: If she has to, you have to.” He pointed to a chair and a loveseat in the corner. “Sleep.”
I gave up and just grabbed a pill, swallowing it dry. It tasted bitter and I wanted to gag, but I just didn’t have the energy. I grabbed the pillow and settled myself onto the couch.
I followed Molly’s example and took a pill down, swallowing it with cold coffee. I slowly stood and walked to the chair, collapsing.
I took the last blue pill. Frank nodded at all of us in approval. I zipped up my jacket and lay down on the floor. Gerard put his feet under my head to use as a pillow.
Clayah was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
Clayah was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
Clayah was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yes, I did that thing where I used the same title and a different tagline. Deal with it, I'm running out of songs and it fit. PLUS I told you the last one got cut in half so THERE.I heard about all the snowstorms!! Hope everyone didn't die. Because 1) I love you, and 2) I'd lose readers ;D
OH I AM SO FUNNY.
Anywhore.
Actually at that end bit there (not that whole chunk), I wrote that in for Molly. First time =O Just soyouknows.
And I just had to share some of my favorite comments (81 comments at the last chapter post, now up to 98. DAMN KIDZ!)
Here goes:
JustALittleGirl: (And Kayleigh I am not favoring you because you're my friend ;])
HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT
H O L Y S H I T!!!
Oh my god......oh my god...WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY TO THIS?
Other then the usual, holy shit and stuff.
She might DIE, she lost so much blood (eww needles D:) and Darren's being treated like a patient?!?!?!?!
Right, hospitals. Right.
imNotOkayTrustMe17:
I'm supposed to/am getting a huge blizzard too! I'm in Chicago. I know it's not supposed to be funny but I laughed when They ripped their shirts off it just sounded funny :P
(First, kudos for being a Chicago native; know anyone at Barrington high named Darren? KICK HIS ASS!!!! And I figured people would make sexual comments regarding that so good for you for breaking the cycle ^-^)
And this is my personal favorite.
LittleCrunchOne:
HOLY HELL, CLAYAH.
If she dies, I'll have to literally jump into the story, rip of Darren's face, and shove it up his...
Pick your favorite hole. D:<
Whoever you are, LittleCrunchOne, you are getting so much virtual love right now.
I'll post again ASPA, most likely Saturday =]
LOVE TO ALL.
-NLWP</3