A Particular Needle

Taylor's dad dropped us both off at my house. She wanted to tell me all about what she'd learned, so we decided to have a sleepover. Her dad almost begged that we go to her house, but Taylor said no. She told me it was because she was tired of being so protected.

"Oh hello girls," my mother greeted us. She wiped her hands on her apron as she appeared in the main hallway, I'm guessing straight out of the kitchen. "There's cookies on the counter. I just finished the last batch."

"Hey Pauline," Mr. Strauss said from the doorway. He placed Taylor's bag off to the side. My mother walked over to him and I could hear Mr. Strauss say, "if anything happens, don't hesitate to call me." I knew where he was going with this, so I pulled Taylor into the kitchen with me.

I grabbed the plate of cookies and continued towards the living room. Taylor turned on the TV to MuchMusic right away.

"Do you actually like Reid?" Taylor asked randomly. She looked like she'd been wanting to ask me something since we left the academy.

I shoved another cookie in my mouth. "Kind of," I mumbled, trying to keep all of the cookie in. "Why?"

"I was just wondering," Taylor said, her tone was soft and quiet.

I picked up the plate from my lap and put it on the coffee table. I was relaxed sitting on the couch, while Taylor was sitting up straight with her hands in her lap. I studied her closely. You wouldn't have to know her well to know something was wrong, but it was what I was trying to figure out.

"Okay, what's wrong? There's obviously something wrong. You're not relaxing, you look disturbed. Did something happened? What did I miss?" The questions flew out one after another without thought.

She parted her lips as if she was about to say something, but took it back. She turned to me as she bit her bottom lip. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

She looked up as if she was trying to prevent herself from crying as she shook her head. "You didn't tell me Blake did that to you."

I picked up the plate and left Taylor sitting on the couch. Unfortunately she followed me and continued asking me why.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said as calmly as I could.

"The bruise, Venus! When you hugged Morgan, you exposed the bruise on your right side! I saw it!" she cried, "And so did Spencer!"

I dropped the plate and watched as the glass shattered and the cookies flew across the floor. I breathed in and out heavily. My mother and Taylor's dad rushed into the kitchen.

"What happened?" my mother gasped.

I looked at Taylor and wiped away my tears quickly. I kneeled down and collected the glass pieces. Taylor came over and helped me.

"Sorry mom, I slipped and when I steadied myself, I dropped the plate," I lied.

She pulled me up and told me not to worry about it. Taylor took me upstairs to my room and my mother picked up the broken glass.

I lied down on my bed and Taylor sat on the computer chair. She looked at me. I looked at her.

"How long has it been there?" she asked me.

"I got it last night," I told her. "Blake took me out to dinner and then we went back to his place. He was drinking. He got mad at me over some stupid little thing. He didn't hit me, he just shoved me. I couldn't stop myself from falling into the fireplace. It wasn't on, though."

"His stone fireplace? Blake pushed you into his stone fireplace?" she asked, but I could see she was stunned.

"Taylor, stop it," I pleaded as I sat up. "You're making me sound like a victim. This isn't a crime scene. He pushed me, I landed on my side on a stone fireplace. I bruised." I shrugged like it was that simple.

"Is this the first time?"

"God damn it, Taylor. You're not my fucking therapist!" I shouted.

"Calm down, okay?!" she shouted back. "I warned you about Blake, and I'm not just going to sit back while this all happens! I don't care if you don't want to leave him, I'm helping you out of this! End of story." She folded her arms across her chest.

"I want to leave him," I assured her. "Now."

"Are you sure you're okay to do it now?"

"Take me to his house," I demanded as I put on a gray cardigan.

Taylor looked surprised, but didn't hesitate to run downstairs and ask her dad for the car. He was still at my house. Him and my parents could talk for hours. Taylor told me they were talking about Clarity's funeral.

Clarity wouldn't have wanted me to continue like this, so I've got to do this for her. For Taylor. For me.

*****

Blake opened the front door and smiled at my presence. He gave me a hug and a kiss and let me in. I took one last glance at Taylor who was sitting in her dad's car, parked on the street.

"I don't have long," I told him as I shut the door behind me. "Taylor and I are going shopping."

"That's fine," he said.

I followed him into his kitchen as he poured me some ginger ale, my favourite soft drink. He put a purple, my favourite colour, straw in it and slid it across the counter to me. I sat down on a stool and sipped quietly. He crossed his arms and leaned on them. We were facing each other and this seemed harder now.

"How's your side?" he asked, looking down. "I'm really sorry about it, you know that right? I don't even know what I was thinking."

Here was Blake, the guy who thought he had complete control over me. He acted like I was his property, and now he was apologizing. To me. I can't actually buy this, though.

"Blake, just shut up," I snapped. "I'm not doing this anymore, okay? You're an arrogant, abusive control freak, and I've had enough."

Blake raised his arms in the air. "Come on, Venus! I know your favourite drink and your favourite colour! And I even apologized. I don't apologize!"

I stormed past him and out the front door. I could see Taylor giggling in the front seat of her dad's car and it made me loosen up a bit. Once I was in the car, Taylor nodded towards Blake. He was walking towards the car and I could hear him begging. He was saying "please," a word I had no idea he knew. It was a sight to see. Taylor laughed and waved as we drove away.

"What a pathetic asshole," Taylor chuckled. "He's never been broken up with before."

"Well there's a first time for everything," I pointed out.

"Is there a first time for dating a special agent?"

I laughed. "Do you think there should be?"

"In your case, definitely," Taylor assured me. "Spencer is perfect for you."

"Why?"

"Because he's nothing like Blake!" she howled.

Taylor was finding this all hilarious. She loved how Blake was out of the picture and Spencer was slowly sliding in. I loved how good of a friend Taylor was. She simply wanted nothing but the best for me. She was never jealous when I was going out with Blake, like a few friends had been.

Blake seemed like a huge prize, but when you got to know him, he really wasn't. I was just another girl who would put up with him because of how desired he was by everyone. I should have said goodbye a long time ago. I learned that a little too late.

Fortunately now, Spencer has nothing to be uncomfortable about. I have no strings attached to me anymore.

*****

I put on my brave face as I stepped out of the backseat. My father helped me out and I latched myself onto his arm as he guided me towards the church. I could hear my mother's heels clicking behind me.

Taylor's father had his arm around her mother. Taylor walked ahead of them, beside her was her little sister, Samantha. I saw Jenna for the first time since we came back. She was here with her parents and her brothers, she had three of them.

We all sat together in the front row. I sat in the middle and held both of their hands. We looked at the closed casket in front of us. The ceremony went on. Jenna was bawling her eyes out. I watched Taylor be strong and tried to do the same thing, but all I could picture was the last moments I spent with Clarity. Taylor gave me a side hug as I sobbed. Jenna's mom handed out tissues to everyone.

Clarity's parents were on the other side. They were both crying just as much as Jenna. I couldn't look at them, it was too heartbreaking.

Our parents asked us numerous times if we wanted to go to the graveyard and watch the burial. Taylor and I felt like we needed to, because this still wasn't feeling real. We needed this to help us finally let go of Clarity. Jenna whimpered a "no" and her parents took her home. Taylor's parents and my parents took us to the burial site and we stood side by side. Taylor nudged me slightly. I looked up at her.

"Spencer's here," she whispered to me.

I looked around and saw Spencer and Morgan here. Spencer had a typical black suit on, which he looked extremely nice in. He was wearing a pair of RayBan glasses that were half black and half clear. Morgan was in a black suit, as well.

"Hey," I said as Taylor and I approached them.

"Hey girls," Morgan said sympathetically. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thanks for coming," I told them.

"Anytime," Morgan assured us, "Spencer was actually the one who thought we should be here."

"You wanted to come?" I asked Spencer.

He smiled shyly. "I remember the night this all started like it was yesterday. I just thought I should be here."

"They're starting now, V," Taylor informed me.

I grabbed Spencer's hand and he walked with me towards the 6 foot deep hole. I stared down into it. I knew this isn't where Clarity wanted to be when she was twenty. She wanted to be out there, doing great things. Now all hope of that is gone.

I started crying again. Spencer held me as we both watched the coffin slowly drop. It was too much for me to handle. I thought I'd have it all under control, but I couldn't take this. I never thought I'd see the day Clarity was lowered into her grave. I wasn't ready for this day, at least not for another fifty years.

But here I am.

"Spence, I need to leave," I whispered to him.

He had one arm around me as he lead me away from the scene. I felt secure. Taylor and Morgan eventually came over and stood with us. Taylor's face was all puffy and red. She had been crying like me. This was too much for anyone to handle.

The burial ended and teary-eyed people made their way to their cars. My parents came over to see me. I let them take me home after I said goodbye to Spencer. My eyes had dried. We drove in the car silently for a few minutes, and then my mother started talking.

"Who was that boy, Venus?"

"Spencer," I mumbled. "He's an FBI Agent."

"What was he doing at Clarity's--" she paused, because Clarity's funeral was too hard of a concept to digest.

"He helped us find the person who did this," I explained. "He's sweet."

"You should bring him over sometime," my dad insisted. "If you like him that much."

My mother nudged his arm. "What are you thinking, Dave? Venus is with that Blake boy. That kid has so many things going for him. He'll give you a good life, Venus."

"You didn't tell your mother?" my dad asked me.

"Didn't tell me what?" my mom snapped.

I purposely danced around the topic of telling my mother I broke up with Blake. She adored him, plain and simple.

"Venus broke up with Blake," my dad broke the news. "I like this new fellow. He's obviously got a good job."

"He's also a genius, Dad," I boasted.

"Blake had his head in the clouds. Spencer is sounding much better," my dad praised.

"No, Venus, hold it. You broke up with Blake?" my mom questioned. "Why would you do that? He was all set to be a professional athlete. You would have had it made. This Spencer will always be working."

"Oh Pauline, get real. Blake is a dreamer. Spencer has a real career. I say go for him, honey," my dad told me.

"Venus, think about this for a second, okay?" my mom pleaded.

"Blake was such a jerk, Mom," I groaned.

"Well sometimes you have to put up with a little bit," my mom defended him.

"What?" my dad scoffed. "You must be kidding me. Don't tell my daughter she has to put up with any guy's B-S. Venus, you did the right thing."

There my father went again, using terms like "B-S" in everyday conversation. I kind of liked it though, how he tried to act and talk like my friend.

"Dave, I'm just saying that Blake was great for her."

"Well don't Pauline. Blake treated my daughter bad and he's just lucky I don't give him a piece of my mind."

I was shocked. My mom was using a tone that wasn't soft and caring. My dad was letting out his true feelings about Blake. I was glad at least one of my parents was accepting of Spencer, but I don't know what my mom's problem is. Blake was terrible to me and she wanted me to stay with him just because he could make a few bucks? I don't care if she likes him or not, there's a point when it's time to say goodbye.

Maybe Spencer couldn't make as much money, but he'd be making more than enough and he's doing a much more appreciated job. It doesn't matter though, because it's not about money to everyone besides my mother. It only matters about how I feel about them.

"I'm glad you both care so deeply, but it's my decision, okay?" I told them both. "I'm choosing Spencer, and that's the end of it."

I turned my head to look out the window, but I could still see my dad in the corner of my eye. He stuck out his tongue to my mom. I heard her scoff before the rest of the drive became silent again.