A Particular Needle

"So now you're moving?"

I nodded at Spencer. We went to his apartment after dropping Taylor off at home. My mother and I were civil after our little argument in the kitchen.

"So the week you're supposed to be spending with me, you'll be spending packing?" Spencer asked.

"Spence, don't make me feel bad," I begged. I sat up from lying on his couch. My legs were across him still. I stayed up close to his face and waited a few seconds before I kissed him. I slowly intertwinned my fingers with his.

"I-I can help you pack," he offered.

"I still have to find a place," I reminded him. "And then I'll pack, but it'll take me maybe an hour or two."

Spencer placed his hand on my back and brought his face closer to mine and kissed me. He slowly pushed my legs off of him and let himself up. I laid back and rested my head on the arm of the couch as he hovered over me. My hands grabbed his shirt, but his hands stayed by my sides, holding himself up. He kneeled on the couch with one leg. I yanked on his shirt attempting to get him to lower himself, but he remained distant.

"What's up with you?" I asked breathlessly as I pushed him back.

He shifted back so his face wasn't so close to mine. "Nothing? What's wrong?"

I slid myself up and questioned him with a look. He stared at me and I could tell he knew what he was doing. He got up and stood at the end of the couch while crossing his arms.

"I should go home," I told him as I passed.

He turned around and watched me open the door. "Venus."

I looked at him. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, you're perfect, just--"

"Just? Just I'm not good enough or something?" I sighed heavily. "Just tell me what it is."

"I...I can't, I don't know, it's nothing...well, it's something, I just..."

"Just don't know what that something is?" I asked, laughing spitefully.

Spencer said nothing else and I left to go to Taylor's house.

*****

Taylor was expecting me so I let myself in. Her mother said she was in her basement so I headed down.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked.

I leaned over her shoulder and looked at the computer screen. She was scrolling down quickly.

"I'm just looking at places," she replied.

"So you're moving to Philly?" I laughed.

"I didn't say I wasn't looking for you," she retorted.

"Find anything good?"

"Yes, actually," she said as she waved me back over. "What about this?"

Taylor showed me a picture of a tall, gray apartment building. She continued to show me pictures of the inside. It had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room area, a dining area, and a balcony.

"Why do I need two bedrooms?" I asked her.

"Because one will be for me when I visit, obviously."

"Oh but of course, how could I have forgotten that?"

"You're forgiven," she assured me. "So what are you doing here?"

"Um, I guess me and Spencer got in a fight...well, kind of, not really."

"You have a week left with him!" Taylor yelled. "What are you doing, you dumb bitch? I swear to god, Venus! You need to call him right now! You might not see him for weeks at a time, and you're wasting the time you have now? Do you enjoy misery? I swear to god."

"Taylor," I began. "What would I ever do without you?"

"I don't know." She smiled as she handed me the phone.

I was about to call Spencer's number, which I had memorized.

"Tay, he's not going to want to talk to me..."

"What. Did. You. Do?"

I told her the whole story, starting from after we dropped her off. I ended with me telling him Blake never made me feel that way. I also included his speechless response.

"Wow, look at you, every guy's worst nightmare," Taylor scoffed. "You know guys love being compared to your exes, dumbass."

I rolled my eyes. "I know I fucked up, Taylor. Just tell me what to do."

"As if I know. Call Jenna."

"No," I protested.

"Did you notice Jenna is different now?" Taylor asked.

"Yep."

"Are you renting this apartment?"

"Yep."

Taylor and I went to my house and began packing all my things into brown boxes. Taylor had called the landlord, because I was terrible at making decissions over the phone. Taylor always seemed cool and collected. The landlord said she'd meet me when I got down there and I could sign the papers.

Half of the things I left in my room, like my bed and dresser. I only brought important things, every thing else I would have to rebuy because it'd be hard to transport. My dad said to charge every thing to my credit card and he'd pay it off on one condition, I couldn't tell my mother.

We labelled each both with black sharpie with words like "Make Up" and "Jeans". I had a billion clothes and packing took much longer than I had expected. After we were done, we wasted no time loading up the car.

"What am I doing?" I asked as I placed the last box in backseat of my dad's SUV.

Taylor raised her eyebrows. "Well, Venus, you're going to Philly."

"I know what I'm doing, I meant..." I bit my lip. "No, I meant what am I doing?"

"This is about Spencer," Taylor asked with a smile tugging at her lips. "I knew you couldn't leave without making things right."

"Then why the fuck would you help me pack up the car?"

"Because I knew we'd be unpacking it seconds after. You wouldn't have believed me if I said that earlier though."

"You're right, I wouldn't," I sighed. "Okay, grab a box."

Inside, I noticed my mom and dad were sitting at the table together. My mom was writing something down. After Taylor and I put the last boxes back up to my room, we went downstairs to see what was going on.

"Hello Venus," my mother said before I got the chance to speak.

"Hey Honey," my dad followed up. "When are you leaving?"

"As soon as possible," I replied.

"Well, your mother and I were thinking we'd have a little party, like a farwell party."

"How about no?" I suggested. "The point of leaving is to leave everyone here, I don't want to have all their faces in my head when I'm driving to Philly. Couldn't we just have a simple family dinner or something?"

"No, Venus, this is a great idea!" Taylor exclaimed. "Tomorrow night should be the party, and then you can leave the next day."

"See, Taylor thinks it's a great idea," my dad boasted.

"Fine," I gave in. "But I don't want anything to do with it. I'll show up, and that's about it."

My dad and Taylor sat at the table, planning the guest list, while my mother and I retired to the kitchen. I was helping her wash some dishes and put them away.

"You've changed," my mother stated.

I nodded. "I know, Mom."

"When did you become so..."

"Bitchy?" I asked for her. "I don't know, but lately I've been saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times. I messed things up with Spencer."

My mother stayed silent, but she scrubbed the dishes harder. I could have sworn for a second she actually cared.

"I hope you work things out with him," she told me quietly. She kept her eyes focused on the dish she was cleaning.

I stared at her for a while, because I didn't recognize this new woman. You'd think I'd be insane for being surprised my mother said such a little and simple comment, but I was. I couldn't believe my ears, but I tried.

"Thanks, Mom. I do too."