All I Wanted Was You

relax
he is just holding your hand.
just your hand.

"Rob where are you taking me?"
I saw him smirk.
"Don't worry I think you are going to love it."
I found myself a little confused.
not to where he was taking me but the fact that I was allowing myself to let him hold me hand.
I wasn't freaking out or screaming or fighting.
I was myself...a little bit of my old self began to rise up in me when he was near me.
like I was me again.
I wasn't as broken as someone else left me.
I was...me.
he walked for about a couple minutes, and he stroked my hand with his thumb the whole way there.
"We are here."
I looked around and was confused again.
"This is the park what about it?"
"Hahaha well you have to keep looking around then you will see."
"What do you mean lo-"
and as I spun around I saw it.
It was so beautiful.
I never thought I was see one of these in real life.
I have only seen this once...a very long time ago.
and a bit of my heart ached remembering when it was.
"Do you like it?"
I stayed silent and walked towards it.
"I... Its so beautiful."
I went up the steps and spun around to get the full effect.
"I haven't seen one of these like this in such a long time."
it was so gorgeous.
a gazebo with lights everyone, it shined like stars, and flowers white flowers.
Roses and lilies everywhere.
"How...how did you get one of these set up like this?"
"Well I made a call or two and here we are."
"Why did you do this?"
"Why?"
"Yes why?"
"Where else could I do this?"
"This meaning..."
he went inside the gazebo and pulled out a stereo and grabbed a small control
he came and stood right in front of me.
I looked at the ground
he wrapped one of his arms around my waist and brought me closer.
then he pressed a button on the control and music started to play.
my heart ached again.
he grabbed my free hand and started making us move.
we moved around with elegance, elegance I didn't know I was capable of possessing.
the lights twinkled as we moved.
and the lovely voice sang in the background

"Half of what I say is meaningless
But I say it just to reach you, Julia."

we spun around in circles letting the night be our audience.
when we stopped I looked down and listened to the voice

"Julia, Julia, ocean child, calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia
Julia, seashell eyes, windy smile, calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia."

he brought my chin up.
and smiled at me, and those eyes shone like the lights around us.

"Are you okay?"
"yeah I just..I was just remembering something like this."

he kept singing

"Her hair of floating sky is shimmering, glimmering
In the sun
Julia, Julia, morning moon, touch me
So I sing a song of love, Julia."

my heart ached so bad and I couldn't help but let out a couple tears.
"Belinda whats wrong?"
I shook my head
"I just. I."
he wiped away my tears and I rested my head against his chest.
and he rested his head on top of mine.
"Tell me honey..please?"
go ahead.
"My mother's name was Julia."
"Go on."
"Her and my dad one day, when I was about 12, took me to the park one day. We stayed the whole day because their was a fair. There were vendors, and rides, and people everywhere. I couldn't get enough and my parents loved days like these. we stayed until the night and all the stars shined so bright that night. there was music in the air, and people dancing. I watched all the couples dancing and loving each other."
I took a deep breath and the tears kept coming.
"and then we came across a gazebo...just like this one. it was so beautiful..just like this one. My father pulled my mother inside and asked her. 'may I have the honor of dancing with the most lovely lady I have ever laid eyes on?' she said 'of course you handsome man.' there was a guy with a guitar there and my father went up to him whispered to him and then went back to my mother. they looked at each other like they were the only people in the world, like they could see each other, all of each other. and the guy started to sing Julia. and my mother had this grand smile on her face and they danced. The danced in circles and with a smiled on their faces. and I watched them, i watched the love that they had for each other. I watched them dance under those twinkling lights and hoped one day I would do that with someone."
the tears were still running.
and he held me close.
"You said before...your mother's name was Julia...did they?"
"Yeah...they passed when I was 17."
"I am so sorry. I bet you miss them."
"So much."
he was still singing

"When I cannot speak my heart
I can only speak my mind, Julia.
Julia, sleeping sand, silent cloud, touch me
So I sing a song of love, Julia."

we swayed back and forth listening.
"So each time I hear Julia a bit of my heart aches because it always to me to that night. Seeing the dance, seeing their love. And then remembering that they are not here with me."
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know. I just couldn't help but cry. I never thought this would happen."
"What would?"
"This. Me dancing with someone under a gazebo to Julia."
"I never thought I would do this either but you. You are different."
"You are something Robert Pattinson."
"and you Belinda Morgan are special...and beautiful."
i looked up at his eyes and smiled.
he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.
"Say it again."
"Which part?"
"The last bit."
"You're beautiful...I meant it."
we danced, we almost danced the whole night away.
"Let me take you home."
"Okay."
he grabbed my hand, kissed it and lead me home.
letting the song fill me inside with a new memory that attached itself to it.

he walked to my door and he caressed my cheek and kissed my forehead.
"Goodnight."
he turned around to go but I reached and stopped him
"wait."
I held on to his jacket.
"What is it Belinda?"
"I can't have you walking alone at this hour by yourself. I won't be able to sleep because I will worry."
"then what do you suggest?"
"Stay with me again. Please?"
"Alright."
I let him use my couch again.
"Goodnight Rob."
"Goodnight Beautiful."
I went and turned on my CD player and listened to that voice sing me to sleep
I thought of Rob.
and smiled.
and realized something....I am falling for him.

"Hum hum hum hum...calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia, Julia,Julia."