All I Wanted Was You

I sat there staring into space.
breathing in and out.
just picturing the way he looked at me.
the way his eyes shined when he did.
the grin that spread across his face.
when he looked at me.
I shook my Head.
"No. He doesn't see you that way. he isn't looking at you that way."
but something inside my head...well more like Daniel's voice going
'you sure because no guy look at a girl that way without it meaning something.'
"Shut up."
'seriously Morgan its not like he wants to take off your clothes, he is looking at you like I look at Cordy.'
"No shut up. Shut the fuck up!"
and then i heard a knock.
"Open up Morgan! I know you are in there I heard the door slam shut! open up before I use my key!."
speak of the devil.
"Fine fine!!"
I opened the door and he looked quite pissed.
"Whoa whats wrong with you?"
he stormed in
"What the hell Belinda?"
"Whoa hold it! What is up with you?!"
he calmed down and went and sat on my couch
"So I went to your job thinking I could stop by and we can just hang out and talk books. But Steve said you were gone. And then I thought about it and I knew you were with him and then I thought about it well. and I knew you were gonna run here. What the hell is the matter with you?"
I sighed.
"Drop it please."
"No tell me what he wanted."
just get him off your ass already
"he invited me to coffee at his room and we talked. well he asked questions. i answered two, clammed up and then ran out."
he ran his fingers through his hair and huffed.
"Morgan. When are you gonna start to let someone in?"
"I don't know. I seriously don't know."
I knew...
"You are so full-"
"Because of Nathan...I am so broken Danny. I am just broken. You see how I am around people...and then when guys hit on me and ask for my number. I just...I react different. I don't know if I will ever function again."
He looked at me.
"You can finally say his name without bursting into tears or an anger fit, you are getting a bit better you have to admit."
"I guess."
"So this Rob guy? Is he nice at least?"
I chuckled.
and thought about it.
"He is a gentlemen...actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah he is just so nice. and then he just wants to get to know me."
"Wow..."
"Yeah."
"Girl give him a chance. you can't let one son of a bitch ruin your views on guys and people."
I smiled.
"Yeah I know."
I thought about the look Rob gave me.
"Give him a chance to get to know you Hun."
"You know sometimes you just say somethings that get me right in my black little heart."
"I better."
I smiled and gave it a thought. just one person. just let him in...just him.
"alright...to get you off my back. I will get to know him."
"That's good. Come on Cor wants you for dinner. No one can make a pie like you she said."
"Hahaha alright let me just get some air. I am going to the rose garden down the road so I won't be long okay?"
"Okay. Just come straight to my place after then."
"Sure thing."
I headed out and went to my spot like this morning.
I sat against the tree and stared at the roses, and lilies and tulips.
I am not sure if I want to let him in.
maybe just a tad bit but not all the way.
Maybe...yes...no.
gosh darn it!
"Why is my life suck a fucking tragedy?"
a voice replied.
"Well I don't know. I don't know you well enough to say if it is or isn't"
I looked up and saw him.
never noticed how tall he was.
he sat next to me.
"So can you answer me something?"
I put my head against the tree trunk.
"Sure why not?"
he looked at me again I can feel his eyes on me.
"Why do you always run away from me?"
I sighed
"The truth?"
"Yeah the truth."
"Because you scare me."
"Scare you? how do I scare you?"
I turned and looked into his eyes.
I never noticed how green they were.
"Its the way you look at me."
he looked confused.
"what?"
"The way you look at me. it scares me...it scares me because I don't want that. I don't need this right now."
"How do I look at you?"
"You look at me like..."
"I look at you like?"
"Like I am the only girl in the room. Like you are just seeing me....seeing through me...everything that I am. and it scares me...it frightens me."
he kept staring at me.
I looked away and stared at the roses again.
he saw me staring and went up and plucked on and came back and sat down.
"Here. it will make you look lovely."
he got the bloomed lily and tucked it behind my right ear and pulled my hair behind it.
"There I was right."
He smiled and looked at me.
"Let me get to know you Belinda...please?"
those green eyes are so deep.
So soul full...they had a story to tell...but do I want to know it?
and before I could stop myself I said...
"Alright."
and he smiled.