Kind of Girl

I scurried through the airport, dodging around the thousands of people rushing in all sorts of directions. The San Diego Airport was jam packed. The lady I had arranged my flight with said that Sunday was the least busiest day at the airport, I did not want to know what a busy day looked like. I rushed up the escalators as I carried my bag and dragged my one suitcase behind me, just begging to get outside where hopefully, it would be less crowded. I walked out the automatic sliding doors into the wonderful heat of the sun. I blew out a huge sigh of relief, thankful that I was no longer inside the chaotic airport crawling with humans.

I lifted my bag higher onto my shoulder and rolled my suitcase along behind me as I walked down the sidewalk, making my way to the rental car building attached to the far end of the airport. I walked through the glass doors into the quiet, air conditioned building. I approached the lady at the front desk who noticed me at once and turned to face me with a pleasant smile.

“Hello, Miss and good morning. How may I help you today?” she spoke kindly.

I smiled at her for being so amiable. “Good morning. I’m here to pick up the car I rented.”

“Last and first name, please?”

“Andrew, Elsey.” I stated.

She nodded her head and turned to her computer typing my name in. She lifted her head and smiled at me.

“Yes, Ms. Andrew, if I could just see your license?” she asked out of policy.

I reached into my pants pocket grabbing my wallet out and opening it up for the lady to see my license secured in the clear plastic display. She nodded her head smiling. I was starting to question if she smiled so much because she was a naturally sweet person or if it was a habit from having to smile at customers all the time.

“Ms. Andrew, if you’ll just follow me outside to your rented car.” she walked around the front desk with her arm outstretched in the direction she was going.

I followed her back into the California heat as she led me to a line of cars parked and waiting. She stopped in front of a pearl 2010 Volkswagen GTI and pulled out a pair of keys from her jacket pocket. I gasped, marveling at the car. She handed me the keys, glad to see a happy customer. Oh, I was one happy camper.

I tossed my bag and suitcase in the backseat and climbed in the driver’s seat. I had wanted one of these since I first laid eyes on it. I turned the key in the ignition, revving the car to life, smiling at the purr of the engine. I sighed happily and looked at the lady grinning like a drunk.

“Thank you.” I stated, wanting to worship at her feet for giving me the keys to my dream car, even if only for temporarily.

She just smiled and waved her hand. “You're welcome. Enjoy your stay in the Golden State.”

I smiled and drove off. I followed the directions off the little GPS in my phone. I had no idea where I was going except that my destination was somewhere in San Diego and was a little over thirty minutes away from the airport. I raced down the roads like a regular Californian, more than happy to have an excuse to speed. I knew I would regret having to return the little hatchback.

I was eager to get to their place. I hadn’t seen them in ten years, since the day they moved away. I hadn’t had any contact with them since that day either. I tried my best to find their address, a phone number, anything to stay in contact, but I was unsuccessful. Now, out of nowhere I got a phone call from Mrs. Davis asking me to come and visit them, which I of course couldn’t object. I’d missed Ian. Ten years is an awfully long time to be separated from someone you spent nine years getting comfortable with. I was hurt that he didn’t call me or at least write me, but I was delighted with the chance to see him again. It would be easy to forgive him once he looked at me with sincerity in his big brown eyes. He would apologize, rambling off excuses and reasons for not trying to remain in touch. I was a sucker and I knew I would cave easily, maybe even forgive him right on the spot with no guilt trip. Whatever his reason, I knew it wouldn’t matter to me because he would be with me once again, and I loved him too much to be mad at him.

I drove through a residential area and started looking around to see if I might notice which house was theirs.

My phone beeped and the GPS voice spoke through the speaker of my phone. “You have reached your destination. You have reached 902 Pine Road.”

I pulled along the side of the curb and got out of the car. Their house was very prestigious, yet it gave off a homey sort of aura. It was a simple brick red color, one story, with long narrow windows, a two car garage to the side, where I presume their cars were parked because the driveway was bare.

I grabbed my bag and suitcase out from the backseat and walked up their driveway to the front door. I rang the doorbell and waited, examining the front porch. The door was sheltered by a small roof high off the ground. There were little pots scattered around the ground filled with colorful flowers of different kinds. The only flower I could recognize was the helianthus annuus, better known as the sunflower.

The door opened and I looked up from the flowers to greet Mr. and Mrs. Davis. I smiled at them and hugged them both.

“Mr. and Mrs. Davis, it’s so great to see you! I can’t believe it’s been ten years!” I gushed.

Mrs. Davis smiled and pushed the door further open. “Come on in, Elsey. Charles get Elsey’s suitcase and bag, will you?”

Mr. Davis nodded taking my bags from me and walking into the house. I entered their house and Mrs. Davis shut the door behind me. She turned to face me and smiled, pulling me into another hug, she released me holding me by the shoulders and leaning back to look at me.

“Oh, Elsey darling, look how you’ve grown! You were such a pretty girl when you were young and now you’re a beautiful young woman.”

I laughed feeling the blush rise to my cheeks. “Don’t be silly, Mrs. Davis.”

She just smiled at me and pulled me deeper into the house. “Come dear, we’ll sit and chat in the kitchen. Mr. Davis will join us shortly.”

I nodded my head following her. I looked around as we walked to the kitchen, curious as to where Ian may be. I had been hoping he would be the one to answer the door.

Mrs. Davis sat me down on a kitchen stool in front of an island. She walked around the island and opened a cupboard, pulling out three mugs.

She turned to look at me and asked, “Would you like some coffee?”

“Yes, please.” I stated.

I realized that it was only 8:43am. I’d forgotten in my rush to get here that it was still early morning. A yawned slipped from my mouth, as if my body knew it was a lot earlier than the normal time it began to function. On a normal day I wasn’t up until at least 10:30am, but I had accidentally booked myself an early flight thinking the flight was at 5:30pm when it was actually 5:30am. I tried to find another flight time, but the lady I arranged my flight with said there were no other openings so I was forced to rise before the sun this morning.

Mr. Davis walked in just when Mrs. Davis set the three coffee mugs on the island counter. I reached for a golden yellow mug with a smiley faced sun that was a brighter shade of yellow and orange. I poured some coffee creamer in and stirred it with a spoon. Mr. Davis grabbed one of the other mugs and drank from it cautiously, drinking his coffee black like he always had before. I watched as Mrs. Davis added sugar to her coffee, counting in my head the two spoonfuls of sugar she always added. I smiled at the fact that their preferences for coffee hadn’t changed, neither had mine.

“I guess Ian’s still asleep then, right?” I asked before sipping my coffee.

They looked at each other then looked at me with grim faces. Mr. Davis was scowling with his eyebrows drawn together. Mrs. Davis’s lip was quivering and her eyes welled up. They both stared at me with sadness evident in their eyes. I didn’t understand what was wrong.

Mr. Davis cleared his throat. “Elsey dear, Ian’s not here.” he spoke, his voice held no emotion.

I glanced back and forth at the two of them. “Well, what do you mean? He doesn’t live with you?”

Mr. Davis shook his head. “No, what I mean is, Ian’s gone. He’s dead, Elsey.”

Mrs. Davis choked out a sob, collapsing on the island counter. Mr. Davis lifted her head off the counter and let her lean into him.

“No, no, no….it can’t be. No, Ian’s not….” I whispered to myself, not wanting to believe it.

Ian couldn’t be dead. He just couldn’t be. He was supposed to be here right now. In the kitchen with the three of us, drinking coffee and groveling at my feet for forgiveness. No, this wasn’t how I imagined it. The thought of Ian being dead never once crossed my mind. He just couldn’t be.

I sank to the tile floor, sliding off the stool. I leaned against the island for support. I gasped for air, my body weakening and trembling from shock. I felt tears run down my face, but I couldn’t even tell they were mine. I couldn’t feel the liquid pouring from my eyes. I couldn’t feel myself breathing even though I saw the rise and fall of my chest. I couldn’t feel the island as I leaned against it. I couldn’t feel the floor beneath me. I couldn’t feel anything.

My body was shaking violently from the cold. It was so cold. I couldn’t feel anything except for the cold swallowing me whole. I didn’t like the feeling. I didn’t know why I was so cold all of a sudden.

If Ian were here he would try and warm me up. My vision blurred as more tears fell. Ian’s no longer here. My body grew even colder. I invited the cold, wanting it to consume me. I wanted to drown in the cold until I was no longer alive. I didn’t want to live if Ian was dead.

The room looked as if it was spinning. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the spinning. I opened my eyes, but the room still spun. The room slowly disappeared from sight and then it would appear, still spinning. I heard the sound of something hard hitting the floor. I didn’t know what it was, but now the room looked as if I someone had turned it on it’s side. The cold had spread throughout my entire body and I could feel it’s pull, tempting me into the bitterness of the cold. I surrendered to it’s pull, embracing it happily. The kitchen slowly began to disappear. Black edges circled in, swallowing up the kitchen bit by bit. I saw a tiny pool of dark red liquid on the tile floor before the darkness consumed the kitchen entirely, leaving me in the pitch black and frozen.

I no longer felt the cold. It melted away and was replaced by a delicious warmth. My body quickly devoured the warmth, needing to feel something that was so much more pleasurable than the feeling of ice. The warmth consumed my body, warming me to the very core. This feeling was better than the feeling of the cold. This feeling made me never want to be cold ever again.

Something red darted out in front of my eyes before hiding in the black. It darted out again, racing past me and then disappearing in the black. I struggled to focus on the red every time it ran past me, but it would always vanish into the black. The red darted out into plain sight, but this time it didn’t vanish. The red stayed out in the open, covering up the black entirely. I stared at the color as it gradually began to walk closer, getting brighter in color with every step it took. The color was very bright, in fact, it was blinding. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to block it out, but it only made the color seem much more brighter. I frustratingly opened my eyes, but the red disappeared.

I stared up at the beautiful sky. I blinked a couple times and saw the red flash before my eyes every time I closed them. I shut my eyes one more time, but this time I saw black instead of red. I gasped and opened my eyes quickly. I saw a yellow foxtail dangling above my head. I reached out to touch it and smiled. It was all my imagination. The red and the black was nothing more than a trick of the light and shade. I giggled at myself for having been so silly.

I sat up, but I couldn’t see a thing except for yellow. Lots and lots of yellow, with little hints of green. I got up to my feet and saw that I was standing in the middle of a field full of yellow foxtails. I spun in a circle looking in every direction, but all I saw was a yellow field. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten here. I couldn’t remember anything really. My mind went all fuzzy when I tried to remember what happened.

The wind blew, swaying the foxtails, and carrying a strange sound. I looked around once again and saw a dark figure far out across the field. Strangely, I didn’t feel scared. I slowly started walking towards the dark figure, unafraid of the fact that we were the only two out in the field, at least as far as I could see. I kept on walking closer, but I couldn’t make out anything. It seemed as if no matter how much I walked the figure remained far off in the distance. The wind blew again, carrying the same sound. The sound of someone’s voice. I listened carefully, hoping to hear what the wind had to say. The wind blew, the sound distinct enough to hear.

“Ah, girl, girl, girl.”

The figure off in the distance was singing. They sighed deeply as they sung, so deeply as if their sigh was actually the wind. The wind carried the figure’s voice far enough so that I could hear it. Maybe if I tried hard enough, the person would hear me as well.

“Hello!” I shouted and a gust of wind whooshed past me, in the direction of the figure.

The sun’s rays shifted around the figure as they turned in my direction. The figure started walking towards me so I started to walk towards the figure. I could actually start to see the outline of the person as we got closer. I couldn’t see their face because the sun was behind the person making it impossible to see.

We stopped a few feet away from each other, unable to walk any further, some sort of invisible force field was holding us back. I stared across into those big brown eyes that I would notice anywhere. I gasped, my hand flying up to cover my mouth. It couldn’t be.

“Ian?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

The figure smiled at me and nodded his head. The man standing before me looked nothing like the boy I’m best friends with. The man was tall and broad. He looked like a complete stranger, but those eyes. His eyes were the same eyes I remembered.

“But you’re parents told me you were dead.” I spoke, my voice shaking.

“I am.” he responded, sadness filling his eyes.

“I, I don’t understand.”

Ian smiled at me. “I don’t either, but I’m happy to see you.”

I choked out a laugh. I began to cry again like the softy that I am. Instead, this time I cried because I was happy. I laughed at myself for crying.

“I’m so happy to see you.” I stated through the tears. “I’ve missed you. Why didn’t you call?” I asked, my tears of happiness turning into tears of sadness.

He frowned, turning his head to look away from me, but I could see the misery in his eyes. “They didn’t tell you?”

“No.” I answered, understanding what he meant.

He sighed and the wind blew. I wondered how he knew exactly when the wind was going to blow. He looked at me through sorrow filled eyes. It hurt me to see him in so much pain that I unconsciously reached out to him, but I couldn’t reach. The invisible force separated us.

“I died from a brain tumor. I died about a month after we moved away.” he stated.

He stared at me, watching me with his eyes. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t react. The tears just continued to fall from my face.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

His face twisted in pain. I reached out once again, to smooth away the lines from his face, to make the pain go away, but I still couldn’t reach.

“I couldn’t, I just couldn’t.” he cried, falling down into the foxtails.

I could no longer see him. The yellow foxtails were too tall. I pushed through the field, afraid he would disappear. I was surprised that I could move forward, but it also frightened me. What if Ian was no longer close by? I pushed aside the foxtails searching for Ian, but I couldn’t find him.

“No, please, don’t disappear. Ian!” I shouted his name.

The tears were coming faster as I cried uncontrollably. The sobs making my body shudder. I ran through the field pushing past the yellow foxtails.

“Ian!” I shouted, calling his name.

The wind blew past me and I stopped running.

“Ah, girl, girl, girl.”

I turned around and saw his figure far off in the distance once again. I started running towards him as the wind blew against me, pushing me back.

“Ah, girl, girl, girl.”

The more I tried to run towards him the further away the wind pushed me, teasing me with his voice as he sang into the wind.

“No, Ian!” I shouted, wanting him to hear me. “Ian!”

He didn’t hear me. He continued singing into the wind.

“Ah, girl, girl, girl.”

The wind rushed past me, knocking me down. I could feel the lovely warm feeling start to leave my body.

“No, please, no.” I cried, begging.

I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t find the strength to push myself up. The warmth left me completely, raw and naked. The cold returned happily, glad to consume anything offered. I cried, my body trembling as the tears blurred my sight. I closed my eyes shut, not wanting to see anything. I just wanted the pain to go away. The cold engulfed me, enclosing me in it’s icy claws, blocking out any light or heat from me entirely. The pitch black swallowed me whole, freezing me into nothing. I remember feeling the wind blow by one last time as it carried his voice when he sang.

“Ah, girl, girl, girl.” his voice fading away as I sank deeper and deeper into the cold.

“Elsey dear, Elsey.” someone called.

I slowly opened my eyes, blinking a couple times before I could see clearly.

“Oh, thank goodness! Elsey darling, we’re so glad you’re awake.”

I turned towards the voice and saw Mrs. Davis hovering over me. She held a tissue in one hand and her eyes were red. I frowned, not happy that Mrs. Davis had been crying.

I slowly sat up in the bed. The cold feeling was gone. I wasn’t freezing anymore. I looked around, but I didn’t recognize where I was.

“How are you feeling, Elsey?” Mr. Davis asked me, full of concern.

I turned to look at him, not noticing his presence before.

“I’m fine.” I replied.

He nodded, but didn’t look relieved. “We called a doctor over and he said that you would be fine, but to call incase of anything. If you feel any pain just let us know and we’ll call up the doctor.” he stated firmly.

I nodded my head, which hurt a little bit to move. I looked around the room once again, but I still had no idea where I was.

“We’re still at our house. This is the room you’ll be staying in.” Mrs. Davis answered.

“Oh, okay.”

Just at that moment, my stomach growled. I blushed, embarrassed at the apparent sound of my hunger.

“You must be starving, it’s nearly dinner time. I’ll go and make us all some dinner to eat.” Mrs. Davis said, leaving the room.

Mr. Davis cleared his throat and stood up as I turned to look at him. He was holding something in his hands. He walked to where I sat on the bed and held it out to me.

“Here, Ian wanted you to have this.”

I took it out of his hands and rested it in my lap. It was the photo album I gave to him before he left.

“He said, he wanted you to have something to always remember him.” Mr. Davis stated then left the room shutting the door behind him.

I looked down at the photo album. I smiled at the words he tossed right back in my face.

“Ian, I will never forget you.” I mumbled to myself, hoping that maybe the wind would carry it to the field he stood in.

I opened the album to the first page. A piece of paper slipped out from the page. I picked up the paper and unfolded it. I read the words written on the paper.

Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the girl who came to stay?
She's the kind of girl
you want so much it makes you sorry
Still you don't regret a single day
Ah, girl, girl, girl

When I think of all the times
I tried so hard to leave her
She will turn to me and start to cry
And she promises the earth to me
and I believe her
After all this time I don't know why
Ah, girl, girl, girl

She's the kind of girl who puts you down
When friends are there
You feel a fool
When you say she's looking good
She acts as if it's understood
she's cool, ooh, ooh, ooh
Girl, girl, girl

Was she told when she was young
that pain would lead to pleasure?
Did she understand it when they said
That a man must break his back
to earn his day of leisure?
Will she still believe it when he's dead?
Ah, girl, girl, girl
Ah, girl, girl, girl

I recognized the song. It was the song Ian sang into the wind in the field of yellow foxtails. He was singing to me, not to the wind. The song he sang was written for me. He was singing, my song. On the bottom of the page he signed it.

Love, Ian.
Written for a special kind of girl, my girl, Elsey Andrew.