Don't Bother

She’s got the kind of look that defies gravity
She’s the greatest cook
And she’s fat free.
She’s been to private school
And she speaks perfect French
She’s got the perfect friends
Oh isn’t that cool.

I sighed as I rolled over in bed, hearing the front door open and shut. I looked at the alarm clock that read 3:45 in the morning. I promised I would never stay up and wait for him again, but I did. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep; I didn’t want to have to talk to him tonight. I heard him take his jeans off, followed by his shirt. The bed sank in as he rolled on, wrapping his arm around my waist gently and kissing my cheek, his breath cascading across my face as he rested behind me. His breath smelled of liquor and he smelled of that cheap French perfume, her French perfume. I knew he had been with her, seeing as it was about 4 hours ago that I got off the phone with my best friend, Sergio, who told me everyone left the club at that time. I let a tear slip, but no more than that one, I would not shed tears for this man, I didn’t need him, I could be with anyone else.

She practices Tai Chi
She’d never lose her nerve
She’s more than you deserve
She’s just far better than me.
So don’t bother
I won’t die of deception
I promise you won’t ever see me cry
Don’t feel sorry.
Don’t bother
I’ll be fine
But she’s waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don’t bother, be unkind.

I woke up the next morning to him already gone. I smiled knowing I wouldn’t have to worry about encountering him again this morning. I took my time getting out of bed, stretching and getting ready for the day. He wouldn’t be back for a while from training. Today was going to be a big day, I wasn’t going to stay any longer, I was ready to go. I’ll miss him, but I was ready. I pulled out my suitcase from the closet and began to pack all of my clothes, leaving nothing of mine in the drawers. After making sure that was all put away, I began to take my pictures and cutting my face out of the pictures of us together, leaving them in their place for him to see, except for the one on his nightstand right next to his pillow. I traced my hand over our faces in that photo remembering the night he took it. He brought the camera under the blanket and took a picture of the both of us, my hair was a mess, but he still looked beautiful. I kissed the photo, making sure my lipstick left a mark on his cheek, and placed it back on his nightstand, grabbing my purse and suitcases and headed to the garage. I placed the house keys on the kitchen counter, not needing them anymore and I grabbed the keys to my car that was all the way on the other end of the garage, and walked towards it to put my things in and leave, passing his 3 cars in the process, keying every single one, smiling the whole time.

I’m sure she doesn’t know
How to touch you like I would
I beat her at that one good
Don’t you think so?
She’s almost 6 feet tall
She must think I’m a flea
I’m really a cat you see
And it’s not my last life at all!

Even though I’d placed all my things in my car and the garage door was open, ready for me to drive away, I still sat in the driver’s seat, my hands on the steering wheel, staring ahead wondering if this was really what I wanted to do.

For you, I’d give up all I own
And move to a communist country
If you came with me, of course
And I’d file my nails so they don’t hurt you
And lose those pounds, and learn about football
If it made you stay, but you won’t
But you won’t.

I shook my head of my thoughts knowing that this was right. I drove out of the garage, hitting the button for it to shut behind me, then throwing it out the window, letting it shatter in the street behind me, leaving no more ties. I drove through Madrid for 30 minutes before finally reaching my brother’s house. I pulled up into his gated driveway, using the code and key that he had given me for emergencies. I parked my car in his garage and went inside the empty house, knowing that he was still at training as well. I took the time to unpack in one of the guest rooms, claiming it as my own for the time being. I went downstairs and left towards the training grounds, thinking that I’d meet up with my brother there and that we could go out for dinner. I’d love to see all their faces when I show up to watch for their last hour. Although my brother and best friend have always been into football, it’s never been a great interest to me, I only know that someone is winning if they have the higher amount of goals. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and left the house.

So don’t bother
I won’t die of deception
I promise you won’t ever see me cry
Don’t feel sorry.

I got into the grounds easily, seeing as I drove with one of my brother’s cars, using the pass that is stuck to the front windshield. I parked next to the rest of the expensive cars that were lined up, makes you wonder what these footballers are lacking and trying to make up for with these cars. I laughed lightly as I locked the door and threw my purse over my shoulder, heels clicking against the pavement as I made my way to the entranceway. I was greeted by one of the guards that showed my brother and I around many years ago on our first visit. Lucky that he remembered me, sadly not by name, but by ‘Iker’s little sister’, he led me to the sideline, and had me sit in the reserve seats, right near the boys practicing. I thanked him and sat down, placing my purse in the seat next to me. I smiled and waved at Kaka, who was the first to notice me, acknowledging my presence by greeting me from the field. “Hala Sonia!” I laughed at his pronunciation, the same way he had greeted all of Madrid the day he was presented to the club and it’s fans. Luckily he was only a few feet away from me, so he didn’t get in trouble for distracting the rest of the players. Sergio heard Kaka’s greeting and was the next to greet me. Sergio being Sergio wasn’t going to just wave, being his best friend after all, I was entitled to a proper greeting. He nonchalantly walked over, acting as if he was staring at the clouds, and ran the last few feet to me and hugged me before continuing to run as if he was going after the ball that was just passed. I let out a slight giggle and continued to watch the boys, no one else noticing me, or too busy training to realize I was on the sideline. I sat quietly as the boys gathered in the last huddle of the day and then headed towards the locker room to grab their things and leave. Ronaldo walked right by without even noticing me with my sunglasses on, I didn’t let the smile drop from my face, not even when Sergio walked up and gave me a questioning look.

“Do you want me to get him?” I shook my head and patted his hand that he had placed on my shoulder.

“I’m not here for him. Go shower and change, come to dinner with Iker and I, don’t tell Ronaldo I’m here, just hurry.” He smiled, then gave me a confused look that he shook off and ran towards the locker room. Iker finally walked up at the end of the line of boys, speaking with Raul. Raul stopped mid sentence and looked over at me, a smile growing on his face. Iker followed his stare and gave a shocked look as he saw me.

“Sonia, always a pleasure to see you.”

“And you Raul. How’s Mamen? And the children?”

“They’re all fantastic, actually waiting for me to go home. I’ll talk to you later, Iker. And I’ll see you around, Sonia.”

“Of course.” I nodded as he ran off. Iker stood in front of me with a huge grin.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my sister, on a football training ground, when she knows nothing about the sport!” We laughed as I hugged him, not caring that he just finished hours of training.

“Iker, I have so much to tell you, go shower quickly, the three of us are going to dinner.” He looked at me oddly.

“The three of us? Where’s Ronaldo? I know he’d be standing her with you, not bothering to leave for a shower, ready to go eat.”

“Ronaldo’s not coming, just you and Sergio, hurry up, I…I want to leave already.” Iker gave me a hard stare before nodding.

“Alright, I’ll be right out.” He kissed my forehead and headed into the locker room where a few of the younger players were already walking out. I turned my back to the crowd, hoping and praying that Cristiano wouldn’t walk out before Sergio and Iker. I let out a sigh of relief when I heard a voice I didn’t mind hearing call my name. I turned around, putting on a smile as I walked over to Guti.

“Hola, Guti.”

“We missed you last night.” I shrugged my shoulders thinking of a quick excuse to cover the fact that my boyfriend really didn’t want me to come out.

“I wasn’t feeling too well. But I’m better now, maybe next time.” He nodded, smiling as he gave me a hug and began to walk off.

“I’ll hold you to that.” I waved him off as Kaka walked out, smiling and waving at me again.

“Bye, Sonia! Caroline says hi!”

“Tell her we’ll get together soon.” I replied as he was talking on his cell phone. I watched as pretty much all the players slowly but surely left, I began growing impatient and nervous until I saw Sergio walk out with his duffel strap slung over his shoulder, putting his last earring in, of course the boy would be worried about how he looked walking out of the grounds. I laughed as he jogged up to me and picked me up, spinning me around.

“Sonia, you haven’t stepped foot on the training grounds in over two years, why is today so special?” He asked as he placed me down. I looked up at him smiling, knowing he’d understand if I just told him, he was my best friend, he knew my life inside and out.

“I left, and I want to celebrate by starting anew.” His smile grew knowing that I did the right thing, no matter that Cristiano was one of his friends as well, he knew that this was right for me.

“Everything out?”

“Everything out…and he’ll have to get a few paint jobs for some cars, but other than that, it’s done, he just doesn’t know it yet.” Sergio laughed and nodded in understanding.

“That’s why you don’t want him to know you’re here. Don’t worry, he takes forever getting ready, but I’m sure you already know that. I’m surprised he didn’t see you when he walked into the locker room though.” I shrugged and was glad that Iker had chosen that moment to walk out, we could finally leave. Iker smiled as he joined the two of us, but my smile faltered as I noticed Ronaldo walking out just a few yards behind him. I quickly linked arms with the two men at my side and began to slowly pull them towards the car park. I made the mistake of turning around to look at Cristiano. He had noticed me and was smiling, probably thinking I was there for him. But his smile turned into a frown as he saw me walking off with Iker and Sergio, not even stopping to wait for him. I kept the smile on my face and turned back around, feeling triumphant and strong.

So don’t bother
I won’t die of deception
I promise you won’t ever see me cry
Don’t feel sorry.
Don’t bother
I’ll be fine
But she’s waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don’t bother, be unkind.
Promise you won’t ever see me cry
And after all I’m glad that I’m not your type.
Promise you won’t ever see me cry.

I still kept the smile on my face through all of this as I sat with a coffee mug in hand, sitting at Iker’s kitchen counter a week later, the days paper with the picture of Cristiano and that chica on the cover with a huge circle over a supposed baby bump and another circle around the engagement ring on her finger. Cristiano went home that day last week not expecting the welcome he would receive. His cars, keyed to no end, my name written on the trunk of all three of the cars in the garage in cursive, just so he’d know it was me. The picture frames broken on the ground, glass everywhere. My face cut out of every photo. Flowers thrown in the fireplace. Our bed, sheets and comforter a mess, mattress torn with a knife that rested in the center. Just that one photo with the imprint of my lips left for him to linger over. Not even the phone call from him I received that night made me regret what I did. I was content with it all. I closed my eyes slowly, lingering over the joyous feeling as my brother walked over, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek as he grabbed a mug to pour himself a cup of coffee. I heard him chuckle at the paper in front of me as he walked towards the coffee.

“¿Hace un día bueno Iker, no?” (It’s a good day Iker, no?)

“Sí Sonia, hace un día gran.” (Yes Sonia, it’s a great day.) I turned to him smiling, knowing my life was starting fresh today. I promised Iker and Sergio that I would go to every match, home and away, just to cheer them on. I reassured them that they didn’t have to worry about Cristiano, I had no score to settle with him, and I would be fine seeing him on the pitch, because I would know that I’m not there for him, but for the two of them. I was going to live my life now, and make an effort at having it be the best life I can live.

Don’t bother
I’ll be fine
But she’s waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don’t bother, be unkind.
And after all I’m glad that I’m not your type.