You Left Me With Nothing but a Kiss

Oh, so now he wants to talk?

Yeah, it's a little too late for that.

I was engaged in a conversation with Eric and Pat, when Rach leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Bee, he was outside crying. I really think you two should talk," she said.

"No. I'm not talking to him tonight. You, little missy, need to stop worrying about other people's problems and have a good time," I told her.

"I will if you make me one promise," she smirked.

"Ugh, what?" I groaned, knowing what she had in mind.

"I want you and John to be a couple by the time my wedding rolls around," she suggested.

"I'll see what I can do," I rolled my eyes.

Just this morning everyone was telling me to stand up for myself and what not, and now that I'm actually doing it I should stop?

He's going to have to shed a lot more tears if he wants to make up for what he did.

I endured week after week of torture from him and tonight he gives me a shred of hope that he'll stop being such a dick, but no!

The only thing I could think to do was get wasted. And I was already half way there.

After a shot of whiskey and another beer I was pretty drunk.

Everybody was getting up to leave and Rachael was helping me out when she stopped.

"Hey, I have to go to the bathroom. Can someone take her to the van?" She asked.

Suddenly I felt a hand on the small of my back and turned around to face John.

"Get away from me," I ordered.

"I'm just taking you out to the van," he replied in a calm tone.

"So you can fuck me and leave me again? No thanks," I snapped.

Everybody was staring and watching John and I.

"Just come on," he urged placing his hand on my back again.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled turning around and slapping his arm away.

Andrew came and pulled me out the door quickly. He helped me into the van, where I passed out.

I woke up the next morning on the back seat of the van with a blanket and a pillow.

I sat up a bit and groaned, rubbing my head.

"She's up," Nick called to the front of the van.

"Shh!" I barked, still holding my aching head.

Justin passed me a bottle of tylenol and I swallowed two pills dry.

"Hey girlie, you have some 'splainin to do," Andrew called from the driver's seat.

"About what?" I asked. I thought back to last night and the last thing I remembered was Rachael telling me to talk to John.

"What did you and John do after you took him outside?" Eric asked.

"Oh god... How did you guys find out?" I wondered.

"Well, Rachael was helping you to the van, but then she had to go to the bathroom, so John tried helping you out and you flipped shit on him," Andrew explained.

"What did I say?"

"He said he was going to take you to the van and you screamed 'so you can fuck me and leave me again?'" Andrew cried, imitating my voice poorly.

"Oh god, guys. I'm so sorry," I apologized.

"Yeah, We're not," Eric said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you finally got through to him last night, somehow. He's been calling your phone non-stop, he's been texting all of us asking if you're okay, and he's really sorry for what he did," Eric told me.

"Like all of it? Or just last night?" I asked.

"All of it. Every single thing," Halvo smiled.

"Wow," I said.

"Yeah, and last night he even called you beautiful," Andrew added.

"He hasn't called me that since before I left him," I said mostly to myself. "Should I talked to him?" I asked the guys.

"It's your call Bee. I texted him back and he knows you're alright and everything," Eric told me.

"Hmm, okay. Well let me just see my phone," I replied.

Eric handed me my phone and I checked it.

36 missed calls.

All from John.

23 new voice mails.

All from John.

41 new texts.

Actually, not all from John.

I started to listen to the voice mails first.

"Hey Beth, it's me...John. I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night. Look, I'm sorry. For everything. I've been more than stupid. I don't blame-" The message was cut short.

I quickly skipped to the next message, not deleting the first.

"It's John again. As I was saying in the first message, I'm so sorry. And I don't blame you if you never want to take me back, but I need you Bethy. I love you so much and I just can't think of anyone else I'd rather-" message cut short again.

I skipped to the next one.

"There's no one else I'd rather be with than you. I love everything about you Beth. You're the perfect girl and I know that you would make any guy happy, but I want that guy to be me. Do you remember-"

Why couldn't the damn voice mail just let him finish his sentences?

"Do you remember all those pictures everyone took of us when we first got together? The ones of us cuddling, and kissing, and just being cute. And all the photobooth ones on my laptop? I still have all those pictures, Beth. I look at them every single-"

"Day. Every single day and I just..." He sighed. "I just don't know any other way to tell you that I need you so much. The best part of me is you, Bee. I love you-"

"I love you and I'll do anything for you. Just please forgive me. I fucked up so bad. I don't blame you for leaving me, I'm a horrible person but I need you,"

"You keep me sane, Bee. Remember when that guy kept dragging you onto the dance floor that night we went out for your birthday? I got all up in his face and threatened to beat his ass,"

"You were the only reason I didn't get arrested that night because the cop thought that if I got a girl like you, I couldn't have been that bad of a guy. God I just need to hold you again,"

"Please call me Bethy. Even if it's just to bitch me out. I need to hear your voice. I literally feel sick for doing what I did last night. You deserve someone so much better than me. I love you so. Never forget that baby,"

Those were only the first nine messages and they made me want to break down. I kept a calm look on my face as the guys glanced at me every now and then. I listened to the rest of the messages and laughed at the memories they brought up.

John was sorry. I know that, but what kind of jerk just walks out after sex in the back of a van? I was more ashamed than I was hurt. I felt like a slut for letting him use me and not even trying to stop him.

Yes, I love him more than anything in this world. But there was no excuse for what he did.

I want to just go back to him and make everything okay but I'm not ready yet.

After I got done listening to the rest of my messages I started reading my texts.

Out of the 41 messages in my inbox, 37 were from John. One was from Rachael, one from Garrett, one from Kennedy, and one from Jared.

Most of the texts from John just said "I'm sorry," or "Please call me," or "Listen to my messages,". I read through them quickly and got to Rachael's message.

From: Rach

Please call him Beth. He's so sorry for what he did. At least hear him out? He's a fucking wreck.

I went to Garrett's text after that.

From: Garrett

Beeeeeeeeeeee!! Call him back! He's driving me crazzzzzzzy!!

Next I looked at Kennedy's.

From: Kenny

Dear Beth,
Please never have sex in our van again.
Love,
Kenny

I laughed and looked at Jared's message next.

From: Jared

I will never look at you the same way. Lol

"Hey, we're stopping at a gas station. You want anything?" Nick asked from the seat in front of me.

"No, I'm just going to go make a call. I'll be right back," I told him, climbing over the seat and out of the van.

He nodded and I walked out of earshot.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and went to my contacts under 'J' and scrolled down to his name. I pressed the little green phone button and held the phone to my ear.

I heard the familiar Ivory tune playing as his ringback tone, but it was quickly cut short.

"Beth?" John answered desperately.

"Yeah John it's me," I replied.

"You called me? Are you okay? Did you get my messages? I-"

"Yes, I got all of your messages. I just called to let you know that. And also, I want to talk when we get to the venue," I told him.

"A good talk or a bad talk?" He asked quietly.

"John..," I sighed. "I know that you're sorry and everything but I'm just not ready yet," I explained.

He was quiet for a long time. I actually thought he hung up until he spoke up.

"I understand," he said grimly.

"I'm not saying that we're never getting back together. I'm saying that I need a little more time. What you did-" I saw the guys getting back into the van and waving me over. "Listen, I have to go. We'll talk later. I love you. Bye," I said hanging up.

Oh my god. I love you?

Old habits die hard I guess.

Shit, I hope I didn't get his hopes up by saying that.

_______________________

"Hey there birthday girl," John whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

I giggled and looked over my shoulder at him. I put my hand on his cheek and leaned up to give him a kiss.

I readjusted my 'Birthday Princess' plastic tiara and leaned back into his chest.

"I'm gonna get you another drink sweetheart," he said kissing the spot under my ear.

"Okay. Come back soon," I replied smiling at him.

It was my 21st birthday and I was a little tipsy.

"Hey hottie, wanna dance?" A guy asked from behind me.

"No thanks. I'm waiting for my boyfriend," I smiled.

"Well your boyfriend can share you, right?" He said pulling on my hand.

"I don't want to be shared," I responded getting annoyed.

"C'mon. He doesn't have to know," the guy said winking.

"I don't want to dance with you," I snapped, pulling my hand away.

Shortly after, John returned and got into a fight with the guy.

Security was called and an officer was yelling at John when I walked up to him and explained what happened.

"So, I'm really sorry for all of this. If you let him go I'll take him home and this will never happen again," I begged the officer.

"Sure thing, Miss. And happy birthday,"

I thanked the officer and grabbed John's hand. We were about to walk away when the he pulled John back.

"Listen boy, she really loves you. She won't put up with these shanigans forever. Don't let her go," he warned.

"I don't plan to, sir," John said nervously.