You Left Me With Nothing but a Kiss

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I can't believe I just did that.

Actually, I can.

I leaned against the van and sighed.

Beth McMahon left me. I hate her for what she did, but I love her. No! I hate her! She's a horrible person. She's gross. I hate the way she scrunches her nose when she let's out that annoying giggle. I hate the way she throws a fit when someone cuts her hair too short. I hate the way she freaks out at the sight of blood. Most of all, I hate how she's the only girl who ever made me feel the way she still does.

After she left me I completely broke down. I couldn't function. I broke the lease on our apartment early, and moved back in with my parents. I didn't eat, I didn't shower, I didn't smile. I slept all day, every day. Nobody could talk to me, I just ignored them. It took me two months to get out of my "funk". Although, I never actually got out of it. I just made it look like I did.

Being a dick was my way of coping. I wanted to make her as miserable as she made me. I wanted to see her cry and beg for me back.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Garrett asked pulling me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I answered.

"Look, we know she broke your heart. We know you "hate" her," he made quotes with his fingers when he said the word 'hate'. "But you can't call her a skank on stage! This is between you and her. Don't drag the rest of us into this.

"I didn't! I was the one who said it!" I replied getting pissed.

"Yeah, but just because of you, she's never gonna want to hang out with the rest of us," he explained as Jared and Pat walked up to our spot next to the van.

"You shouldn't be hanging out with her anyway. She's a bitch who broke my heart and you guys are supposed to be on my side! I'm the one in your band for Christ's sake!" I yelled.

"Look," Jared interrupted "We were all friends with her before you guys started going out and you know we'll always have your back, but it's hard to be on your side when she's not even fighting back," he explained.

She would. She always had to be nice all the time. Even to the people everyone hated. I used to love that about her, but now I hate it.

"Who cares if she's fighting back or not? I hate her, so you have to, too!" I rudely exclaimed.

"John, chill out man. We're not gonna start shit on this tour just because you can't handle a break up," Pat started to say.

"Shut the fuck up, Pat! You don't know anything! And leaving someone isn't a break up!" I screamed one last time before pushing him out of the way and storming off.

As I was walking I stopped when I saw Halvo hugging Beth. I started to feel hate, but not towards her. I wanted to be the one with my arms around her.

________________________________

"John, I cut myself," Beth whimpered as she walked up to me holding her finger.

"Aww, let me see babe," I cooed unwrapping her hand from the injured finger she was holding. "Hon, it's just a paper cut," I stated, trying not to laugh.

"But it hurts," she whined.

"Okay baby. I'll go get a band-aid. Sit tight," I said kissing her forehead and jogging back to the van to get a bandage.

I returned to find her in the same spot clutching onto her finger for dear life. She looked up at me and forced a smile. I unwrapped the band-aid and carefully placed it on her cut. After it was wrapped up I brought her finger to my lips and kissed it causing her to giggle.

"Better?" I asked with a smirk.

"Much," she replied kissing me and wrapping her small arms around my torso. As I held her, I noticed how perfectly her body fit against mine. In that moment I never wanted to let go of her.