Nobody Said It Would Be Easy

Prologue:
"So, what are you trying to tell me?" I asked, looking at him.
"Riley...is...dangerous. More than you can possibly imagine." He said back, his hands clenched and his eyes fierce.
"He would never hurt me." I snapped back stubbornly.
"You can be so stubborn." He laughed back.
"I don't need this," I said motioning to the white room. "I feel like I'm in a wacky shack."
"It's for your protection, Mellana. Trust me." He assured, running his fingers through his honey blond hair and leaving.

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Dear Riley,
I'm mental, aren't I?
Love,
Mellana

"You should seriously get over him. He's gone." Erin said shaking her head slowly.
"I know, I've tried." I said back. It was three o'clock in the morning and we were at Erin's house. "I'm sorry." I added.
She looked down at me from her day bed, her brown hair falling around her jaw line and her mouth open. "Mell, I realize this is hard for you, I understand that. But, it's been, what, three months?"
"Erin, it's so much harder than you know." I protested.
"Even his parents aren't taking it this hard." Erin said.
I rolled on my back and looked up at her from my sleeping bag. Sighing I said "I know. But I loved him."
"And you don't think they did too?" She asked supporting her weight on her elbow.
"I'm a selfish good for nothing loser, I know."
She sighed. "How many times have we gone through this?"
"This would be the millionth." I exaggerated.
"Do you cry in your sleep every night?" She asked.
"As far as I know. Sometimes it kicks into a nervous breakdown." I sighed. "Sometimes screams. But it's normally just crying." I said.
She flipped the sheets off her body and crawled off the bed, putting an arm on my shoulder and laying next to me. I gave her some of the throw blanket I was using over my sleeping bag.
I took a deep breath, containing the tears that made my eyes glisten. I tried to not sound like I was crying but my breath came out ragged.
"I'm sorry, Mellana." Erin said hugging me.
"I want him to come back."
"I know you do." She whispered. "I hate to break it to you though....." she hesitated. "He's not coming back."
"It's not fair." I huffed, crossing my arms. She giggled, and we both stared at the ceiling for awhile.
"Too bad life isn't fair." She murmured breaking the silence.
"Tell me about it." I said sarcastically.
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I woke up the next morning, my face was hot and tears were all over my cheeks. Erin was still asleep next to me.
I pulled myself out of the blue sleeping bag. My light brown curly hair was plastered to my neck and my face was red. The tear stained face was one I saw often, too often actually.
Erin sat up then, looking at me. "You've been crying haven't you?" She asked.
"Not out of my own will, though." I snapped.
"Mellana, this is getting annoying." She growled back, just as mean.
"You think I like crying over him every night?!" I yelled back.
"I don't know, Mell, it just seems like a reflex for you now."
"It's not a freakin' reflex, Erin. It's called feelings you heartless bitch!" I yelled grabbing my bag and storming out of her room in my p.j.s.
"Bitch!? Who are you calling a bitch?!" Erin screeched at me, following me down the white stair case.
"Hmm..." I said sarcastically. "I think.... I was referring to you." And with that I stomped out of the house.
I glanced back at the white cliche house when I was walking away. Erin was in the standing in doorway of the white door that was embedded in a two story brick house. Her parents two station wagons were parked parrel to each other in the driveway, the grass freshly covered in dew and the bushes trimmed perfectly. It was the perfect home, housing the perfect happy-pappy family with there beautiful seventeen-year-old daughter, two-year-old son and lovely happy couple.
I sighed and kept walking, leaving the wonderful house, with it's wonderful family behind me. I was done with trying to be something I'm not. Done with lying to everyone.
I wasn't perfect like Erin. I wasn't pretty like her either. I was just like any other girl, nothing different.
Only one person loved me. Riley.
I hadn't been staying at my home. Nobody blamed me. My dad was a drunk and my mom worked three jobs to support the bills that piled in like crashing waves. So, instead I lived with Riley's family. The Biers welcomed me happily, they didn't mind my presence or my uncontrollable crying. I sighed and turned to the pathway of their little cottage like house.