Lullaby And Goodnight

I couldn't even look at Frank the next morning without blushing. It didn't help we were sharing a hotel room that night. We had a show in Chicago and the hotel only had a three bedroom and a double bedroom. Matt, Mikey and Ray got the three bedroom. Nobody wanted to room with Frank because he didn't sleep. He just talked all night, apparently. The nights I had spent with him he fell asleep pretty quick. I tried to reason with them saying I'd rather not leave my brother, but he just flipped me off and left me in the room with Frank. He was sitting silently on the double bed, hands clasped in his lap and his interest in the creamy carpet increasing suddenly. I sighed and pressed my forehead against the white wooden door. I heard a soft sigh behind me and turned to face him. His eyes were darting awkwardly around the room and it was pissing me off big time. I hated awkward silences with him.

"Get your jacket, were going out." I smiled to myself changing my black pants to my faded, stone washed jeans and Misfits shirt. I grabbed my wallet and met him in the lobby. He'd changed into baggy black jeans and a red hoodie. I smiled and led us down the road, in search of the Starbucks I'd seen on the way here. I sighed in relief when I saw it, starting to believe I'd imagined it.

I got us both the coffees and sat him down, finally forcing him to look at me. I lifted his eyes to mine by calling his name softly. He looked up at me, his cheeks burning, as were mine but I hated silences.

"Listen, last night was an accident, it wasn't meant to happen, but it did. We were drunk, there, that's all it was...yeah." He smiled softly and nodded, the color in his cheeks faded. He nodded.

"I'm sorry Gerard. I just thought you wouldn't wanna talk to me again."

"Why wouldn't I? I started it last night."

"Yeah but I let you."

"So?"

"So it was my fault."

"Wasn't."

"Was."

"Wasn't." I'd turned on my chair sideways to face him.

"Was."

"Wasn't." He'd done the same thing, edging his chair a fraction closer to mine.

"Was."

"Wasn't." Our legs were touching ever so slightly.

"Was."

"Wasn't." We'd both leaned a little closer. We were inches apart.

"Was." He was whispering now but I was so close I could still hear him fine.

"Wasn't." I refused to let him win and pressed my lips against his. I expected him to pull away and go all awkward again, but he didn't. He kissed back. I felt his mouth move in sync with mine. I grinned against his lips when a teenage girl 'awed at us. I felt gentle vibrations as Frank laughed. That didn't last though, one of the girls had a guy with her, and he wasn't so easy with us.

"Fagots!" He yelled right beside my ear. I jumped a mile and pulled away from Frank. The guy was horribly familiar. I glared at Lee, his once flawless, perfect features were gone and had been replaced with a beer belly and a receded hairline, even at his still very young age. He was un shaved and spotty and his teeth were horrible. I held my breath in fear of smelling him again. The face I made somehow clicked in his head and he recognized me.

"Carter? Oh my God it is you isn't it? Still got that present I gave you?" He smirked and my fingers automatically touched my stomach gently, tracing the still obvious scars in my pale skin.

"Living the dream I see Lee, and it's not Carter anymore, it's Way." He looked at me dumbly.

"I was adopted genius." He looked at me after that before his rank breath filled the air with his laughter.

"You mean somebody actually wanted you? You have got to be kidding me!" I heard the chair behind me scrape and pushed my arm behind me to keep Frank away.

"Your still a fagot, and you'll always be the pathetic, little, homo, fagot, Carter boy to me. Him there, that your man whore?" He asked sweetly, nodding to Frank. That's when I lost it. I lunged forward, not taking a step, just diving at him. He tried to turn and run from me but my arms tangled around his throat. What was left of my nails I dug into his neck, wanting to cause him as much pain as possible. I managed to drag him to the coffee store floor, straddling his stomach and pinning his arms either side of his fat head.

"What you gonna do Carter? Rape me? Bum me dry?" His laughter egged me on and I closed my eyes for a split second, remembering everything he'd ever done to me, every word that cut me deeper than the knife on my stomach did. Then I lost it. My fists pounded his face harder and harder with every punch, using my knees to pin his arms down so he had to defense. One hard punch and his nose exploded under my touch. I heard the shattering sound before the blood splattered the skin that was exposed of me. The people who had surrounded to watch the fight gasped and I think I heard someone faint in the explosion of blood, flesh and bone. My hands were stained red and once I had shattered his nose, burst his lip, and blacked both his eyes until he was no longer conscious, did I get up and look at Frank. Turns out he was the one who passed out. Someone had him sat on a chair. I rushed towards him and helped him up and out of the store, flagging a cab and getting us back to the hotel as fast as we could.

*Time Elapse*

"Gerard. Why did you do that? You didn't have to you know." I nodded and pressed the icy cold clothe to his forehead, the cold water dripping down to the pillow.He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before continuing.

"I didn't have to do it. I wanted to do it. He's the one who scarred my stomach, he's the one who caused physical and psychological harm to me all through childhood, and he's the one who called my ex a man whore." Frank sniffed and looked up at me. His hazel eyes swimming with tears and his lip quivering.

"Frank don't cry. It's okay. I don't think he's gonna bother us again." Frank shook his head and pushed the cloth away.

"It's not that Gerard. What if he presses charges, you could get locked up for that!" hadn't thought of that. Then, a sudden idea struck me. It was time to get back in touch with my cousin Loz again.