Lullaby And Goodnight

"Ah, fuck fuck fuck fuck. Oh god Gerard harder please!" I smirked and threw one leg over his thighs, griding into him with no mercy, though he didn't seem to want any. He tried to get me to move faster but I pinned his arms beside his head by his wrists. Once he'd stopped struggling, I moved one arm and fiddled with the top of his boxers, still grinding against his throbbing erection heavily. Beads of sweat glistened on his chest and his nails dragged down my bare chest, scratching deep, bleeding lines into my skin. I moaned at the pain, the shock and the tickling of the blood dripping down and from my chest onto his. I stopped my grinding suddenly and pulled his boxers down and off, along with my own. I dragged my tongue down his chest until I got to the small pool of blood that had gathered just below his belly button and licked and sucked it all up. There was more than I thought and there was a love bite once I'd finished sucking up and lapping the blood.

I smirked, proud of my work and kissed the end result. I licked down to his erection and palmed his balls softly, licking around his base and kissing his thighs.

*Time Elapse*

I smiled down at Frank, who was sleeping soundly. I didn't sleep with him. I didn't even kiss him, I just sucked him off. I leaned on my windowsill and looked at the trees outside my window, casting shadows around my room. The wind made the move and rustle eerily. I looked out of my window at the empty streets. The leaves blowing loosely around. I couldn't even scream as my eyes caught sight of the disfigured corpse under the street lamp. The empty eye sockets staring at me and her mouth open in a silent cry for help. One of her arms reached up at me. I closed my eyes tightly and I felt myself drop to the ground. I backed up against the corned and pulled my knees up to my chest. Tears dripped from my eyes and onto my bare knees as the shadows of the room seemed to get darker and more forbidding.

Frank took a deep breath in his sleep and turned over. I took my chance and dived under the covers with him, refusing to lift my head from the covers. I shivered as the wind sent chills down my spine and I wondered if she was still out there.

She's haunting you.
She's not! It's my imagination. I feel guilty because I didn't get to her in time. It's all my imagination.
Who do you think your fooling? You know she's haunting you. Getting revenge for not helping her more like. She wants to torture you and drive you insane.
She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't blame me. She killed herself, a few more hours and she would have been free.
It wasn't proved it was suicide. He could have killed her and made it look like suicide.
She killed herself!
If that's what you wanna believe.

I growled at myself and rushed into Loz's room. It was four AM according to her digital clock. I climbed onto the double bed beside her and sat back on my knees. Tears still stained my face so she wasn't mad when I whispered her name and woke her up. She stayed laid down but held her arms out to me, pulling me down with her and giving me a much welcomed hug.

"You saw it again didn't you? What ever you saw in the lounge, you've seen it again?" I nodded against her chest and burst into tears all over again. She stroked my hair and let me cry. How did she read me so well? Was I that easy to read? Or did she just understand?

"Gerard, it's not there. You have to understand that. What is it you can see?" I sniffed and tried to calm myself down.

"Rachael. My best friend. She killed herself not long ago. It's her I keep seeing. Only, she's a rotting corpse. Empty eye sockets. Silent screams. Color tinted skin. She's following me. I think she wants revenge. I didn't get to her in time. I couldn't save her." My hands were shaking and tears were staining my face. She hugged me again and pulled the covers over us both. I snuggled up to her and let myself go.

"Gerard. She's not there. This is your imagination. You most likely feel guilty about not been able to save her. Gerard if she committed suicide, she had reached the point where she couldn't be saved. It's sad Gerard, but true. There's nobody haunting you. If she is here, she's certainly not a rotting corpse, she'll be a white glow, making sure your okay. Nobody could save her Gerard, nobody. It wasn't your fault okay?"

"Okay."

So badly I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe this was all true. I knew, deep down, she was probably right, but I never found out. I didn't see the illusion for a couple of weeks. We returned home to find out nobody was looking for us. Our first album sold extremely well and everyone was doing great. Frank had left Pency Prep and joined My Chemical Romance full time as rhythm guitarist. For the band, things were rocketing brilliantly and everything was going fantastic. For me, everything was crashing and burning. After the news that Rachael's dad died of a bypass, Rachael's corpse started returning again. I saw her more frequently before. Everywhere I went, she would be sat silently screaming in a corner, or standing the the middle of a busy road, or holding a knife in the kitchen. It never got better. Never got easier.

Every time I saw her, the position would be worse than the last, getting more dangerous. I tried to ignore it. Trying to remember Loz's talk, but it got harder as this corpse got more realistic and more like my friend. Her features were becoming more defined, but more gruesome. If the corpse wasn't around, messages would be left around. I once walked into the bathroom to the words 'Am I pretty now!' in blood on my mirror. I frequently asked people if they could see anything strange in the house or in the van, but it seemed as if I was the only one that would see it. I once saw her stood in the kitchen, a knife in her hands and blood dripping from her wrist. I was staring in terror, but Mikey just walked straight past, whistling Skylines And Turnstiles.

Could I be loosing my mind?