Lullaby And Goodnight

*Gerard's Point Of View*

Not intentional at all Frank, not at all. I had listened to him play and sing all the way through the song. I bet it was intentional. He was trying to break and hurt me. He wants me to love him again so he can screw me over. He wants me to leave Bert so I'm left alone and spiral back to drugs. No, Frank wouldn't do that, would he?

No he couldn't. He's too nice, he's too supporting. Oh god I missed his hugs, they were so rare now. Bert's hugs were nothing special and usually came at the cost of a quick and often painful fuck. Helena greeted me with a great smile and a proper hug, which I cherished, before she sat me down and gave me a warm cookie. While I nibbled slowly, my fingers traced over the bumpy scarred lettering on my stomach. I recalled the night Bert tried raping me and re-opened them, along with injecting me with heroine. I smiled absently at the memory of Rachael's soothing and calming voice and the touch that made me calm almost instantly.

I missed her. I still felt awful about not reaching her in time and could never get over that. Never get over the image of her skinny, broken, and bleeding body on the bathroom floor, the gun that hung loosely from her bony hand.

I dropped back to earth when the kitchen door squeaked slowly open. Frank's small, innocent looking self edged his way in uncomfortably. Helena hugged him too and kissed his cheek, insisting he sat with me and got a cookie. Before she left the room, she gave me a very knowing look behind his back that said "He's hot, make up." I smiled at her before she left. He sat opposite me at Helena's little pale wooden table that had lines of colored paint on it from my art lessons years before. I knew Frank was about to talk before he even opened his mouth.

"Gerard...I'm sorry, I really didn't mean for you to hear that. I was just practicing. I'm sorry." He hung his head and my heart went out to him, he was so adorable. Why did I lose him anyway?

"Do you still love me?" I couldn't help but ask, I needed an answer. I wanted to know. He averted his eyes from my gaze to his cookie that was laid on the red and white checkered table cloth,

"Yes. I'll be back later." He grabbed his jacket and keys and left the room, leaving me feeling rather stunned. My head spun and my stomach did somersaults. He just admitted me still loved me, after nearly four years of separation. I wondered where he had gone, and why he was embarrassed at that. My thought were cut short when he was pushed back into the kitchen my by interfering grandmother and the kitchen door was locked from the outside. He whined and turned beetroot red when I turned and smiled crookedly at him. He lent back against the door, he looked like he was about to cry. Like a little girl who kissed a boy's cheek for the first time and he shouted at her for it.

I stood up and went over to him, standing a little closer than usual, just to wind him up. He whimpered ever so softly and I lent forward.

"Why did you walk out? Do I make you nervous?" I breathed my question in his ear and he shivered. I smirked and kissed his neck ever so softly. He sighed and leaned his head back against the door, his hands hanging by his sides. His keys dropped to the floor while my tongue flicked over a sweet spot. I twisted my arms around his waist and grinding my crotch into his. He gasped in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I wanted to kiss him badly, but he then pushed me away.

"Gerard no. You have Bert. He may be a motherfucker but he's your boyfriend none the less." I had to give him credit for his loyalty. Even if he had none to Bert. I rested my hands on his hips and my head on his shoulder.

"Maybe but I don't love him, you know that."

"So you love me?"

"Unconditionally."

He rested his head on mine and I could almost hear his brain whirring in thought. His hand made its way to my back pocket

"I'm not staying with him anyway. He doesn't love me." He sighed and I felt his lips kiss my head softly.

"Obviously. Leave him. Come back to me? Maybe?" My stomach flipped and I stood up straight, hovering over him slightly. He pulled his hand out of my pocket with my cell and gave it to me. My hands shook and he could tell I was nervous.

"Gerard sit down. Do you want me to do it for you? I'll put it on loudspeaker." I nodded and handed the cell over and he flicked through until he found Bert's number. I sat at the kitchen chair with him on my lap and waited anxiously for him to answer. He couldn't be far away, he only left twenty minutes ago.

"Hey Fucker." Frankie growled and I smiled against his warm back.

"It's Frank and I..." He pulled the phone away from his ear and turned to me. "Can I abuse him?" I smiled and nodded, holding around his waist tightly.

"I'm sick of the way you treat Gerard. You treat him like dirt, you constantly insult him, and your never there for him when he needs you most. So, he's breaking up with you. Move on with your life!" He pressed the button to end the call, and shut my phone off so he couldn't call back. I was grinning from ear to ear. I thought break-ups were painful, they were with Frank, but I hadn't smiled like this in ages. I could see it now, Bert yelling abuse at a dead phone line. I laughed and hugged Frank's waist tightly. He turned in my lap with his legs either side of my waist.

"Free and single. Now, what do you wanna do first? Mall?" He smiled so innocently, he may have actually been serious. I was too excited to know he actually was.

"I have a better idea." I ran my hand up his neck to his cheek and pulled him slowly closer. I heard his breath stick in his throat and felt his body melt as I pressed my lips softly against his. The bolts of electricity that ran through my veins could have powered the whole of Jersey. I saw stars as our mouths moved in sync with each other. I'd missed this feeling a lot. He was bright red with tears in his eyes, as was I, when he broke the kiss.

"I've missed you Gee. I love you." I grinned from ear to ear and let a single tear fall, which he kissed away.

"I love you too Frankie."