Lullaby And Goodnight

*MIKEY'S POV*

I watched as they slid the needle into the back of Gerard's hand. The doctors and nurses at this hospital had to literally peel his shirt off, due to the sticking blood. I was physically sick when I saw the damage on his stomach. I threw up every time I looked at it, but it was something I couldn't help staring at. The doctors cleaned up after me and a nurse led me outside. She asked me what happened and was really supportive.

"It's my fault. All my fault." I said, tears leaking from my eyes. She shook her head and tried to rub my arm sympathetically but I pushed her away.

"IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT! I DESERVE TO DIE! SOMEONE FUCKING KILL ME!" I screamed. The nurse started to lose her patience and scolded me for my language, but I just pushed her away violently and ran to the elevators. I had to get away for a while. Gerard wont know the difference, cause he left me. I practically fell out of the elevator before the doors were fully open and ran outside. The icy cold air hit me. I collapsed to the paved ground and sobbed. Letting out my self anger and how upset I was for Gerard. I slammed my fist against the hard pavement, screaming to the heavens how sorry I was as I rolled onto my back and let the snow fall over me.

I soon calmed down, but I wasn't ready to go back. I suddenly felt the need to sleep, but I knew I'd end up next to Gerard if I fell asleep in the snow. I crawled over to the closest shelter, which happened to be the ambulance shed and slowly drifted into a peaceful sleep.

*GERARD'S POV*

I wandered slowly down the long, dark corridor. A different sound emerging from each. A bright red door that I passed was muffling screams of pain and suffering, another was hiding laughs and squeals of delight. Looking into each door, a scene of my life was playing. I noticed the brighter the color, the happier the time. I rushed back to the first door, which was a green one. I pushed it open and saw myself and my brother sat at the dining room table with our parents. My brother was talking to dad, he was laughing at some lame joke the four year old Mikey had told. I was listening to my mother singing a soft and haunting melody. Nothing exciting really. I closed the door and moved to a yellow door a little further. It was me, I was the last time I was in hospital, Frankie hovered over me, his lips inches from mine. But I kept moving. I came to a black door. I heard my own screams. I pushed the door open reluctantly and saw myself, pinned to my dad's double bed, him thrusting into me, my blood staining his sheets. Tears pricked my eyes and I slammed the door shut again. I noticed a white door. I opened it and saw me and Frankie, on my bed in Ray's house, I was thrusting into him as he moaned my name. I closed the door quietly, not that I could be heard though. I saw a light further down, brighter than any I've ever seen. I shielded my eyes and shuffled through it. I saw me and my brother. I was crying and he was his arms around me. He told me everything would be okay one day and he'd always be there for me. The thirteen year old me smiled at him and hugged him again. He grinned and patted my shoulder, both of us made our way to school.

I stepped back into the corridor and sank down the walls, tears streaming down my face. Mikey promised he'd always be there for me. Well he almost got me killed. I stared down at myself. I was only in jeans and a pair of black converse. But the scars on my stomach were gone. All my scars were gone. My hair was suddenly fairly long and surprisingly wiry. I yanked a hair out (like you do) and gasped at jet black color. I had hair on my chest and arms, though not a lot on my chest. I spoke to myself and my voice was deeper, still sounded okay though. I stood up, the ground seemed much further away when I looked down. I looked back up and I was on stage. Hundreds of people screaming my name. I looked around and saw Ray, playing his guitar to a really good tune. Frankie was at my other side, playing too, he came over and kissed me roughly and the people in the crowd went wild. Mikey was behind us, playing bass. And our friend Matt was banging away on his drums. I looked down again to see myself in a black suite and red tie. I closed my eyes tightly, but when I re-opened them, I was somewhere else. I was still on stage, a microphone in my hand and all my band mates playing around me. But the man on drums, it wasn't Matt. I don't know who he was, but he had short blond hair, blue eyes and a short blond beard. He was playing really well too. My hair was longer, shaggy and unruly. But I had on pretty much the same outfit. I noticed a band around my arm. It had white guns all in a circle, pointing to the center and the letters MCR in red on the center.

I looked around to see Ray on my left, leading with a wild tune, and Frank on my right, playing rhythm guitar along with him. Mikey was beside me, playing his heart out, his hair longer and he had new glasses on. He was really tall and skinny. I shook my head and stopped to see yet another scene. This time we were in a huge stadium, thousands of people singing a beautiful song. Ray was playing with the same tune and the other band members were following him. Then I noticed something else too. My long, shaggy black hair was gone. My hair was short, really short and unbelievably soft. I plucked a hair (again) and gasped at the bleached blond color. I also noticed the outfit I was wearing. I had black skinny jeans on, big black shoes and a jacket that had golden stripy things across. I noticed the boys in the band were wearing similar outfits too. The amount of people here showed we must have been successful at something. I felt a smile spread across my face. These people were cheering me on, not jeering at me. But then I noticed something that shocked me big style. Me,Frank and Mikey had on engagement rings. But...why did mine say Eliza on it?