Lullaby And Goodnight

I sat on the edge of the bath tub, staring at the shiny piece of metal in my hand. Memories flooded back to me. The last time I had done this I cut too deep and ended up in hospital. I remembered the blood that surrounded my limp and weak body. I was only 12. I remembered my mom's face as she had to break down the basement door and found me lying there. I heard scuffling and sniffing around in my bedroom so Guardian had managed to open my bedroom door. I clicked the lock so she couldn't get in here and pressed the blade against my wrist. I closed my eyes and braced myself.

*GERARD'S POV*

I shivered involuntarily, but it wasn't cold. It was that violent the movement woke Rachael up.

"What's up?"

"I dunno. I just had this wave of panic and pain, then it went. That was strange." Rachael looked up at me a little concerned but calmed down as I lay back next to her, pulling her closer for warmth. For some reason I couldn't get Frank out of my mind. I had this strange feeling he wasn't okay. Well that makes two of us. I fell asleep with thoughts of Frankie laying in his bathtub bleeding to death. Countless times that night I awoke from the same nightmare. And each time there was a barking in the background. But each time I dreamed it, there was more and more blood surrounding him, but no-body was with him. After the seventh time of waking up, at was around 8 AM. I couldn't take it anymore. I took Mikey's cell phone from the bedside draw and dialed Frank's cell number. It rang and rang, but no answer. I was gonna have to call his mom. I hung up and dialed his house number in. After about four rings a groggy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Save Frankie!" I yelled into the phone.

"What? Who is this?"

"Please, check on Frank and tell me he's safe and warm in his bed, sleeping peacefully."

"Gerard! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT DAMAGE YOU'VE CAUSED MY SON!" I winced at the venom in her voice.

"They'll be even more damage if you don't open his bathroom door." I heard the phone clatter to the floor but I could hear Linda screaming her son's name as she ran down the hall. Eventually I heard a bang and more yelling. Frank had joined in the rescue of his grandson. I finally heard the splinter of wood and Linda's ear piercing scream. I hung up and scrambled out of bed, hanging up and throwing my clothes on.

"Gerard, where's the fire?" Mikey murmured from his camp bed. I explained until he understood, didn't take long. He fought to throw his clothes on as we woke Rachael and made her do the same. As we rushed down the corridors I explained everything. Mikey had tears streaming down his face. Rachael had no idea who I was talking about but she could tell this was really bad. Many a nurse or doctor tried to stop us, but we carried on running. Pain searing through my stomach, but for Frank, I would die to save him. The adrenaline rushing through my veins was egging me on, keeping me running at full speed for almost two miles. Rachael did well, she managed to keep up until the last street, but she soon caught up as we pounded our way into the orphanage. We needed that phone and we needed Donna's car.

"What in God's name are you doing here?!" Helena answered the door in just her night clothes and dressing gown. We couldn't answer straight away as we were still having difficulty breathing. When I could at least get the basics out to her.I told her about the call and that Frank was in trouble, luckily she remembered Frank from when I was in hospital the first time. She gave in and agreed to take us to him. Butterflies batted my stomach at the thought of seeing my beautiful Frank again. But my hopes were soon diminished as we entered the hospital.

"I want you nowhere near my son! You did this to him! It's your fault my son is in this critical condition! GO AWAY, AND LEAVE HIM ALONE!" We were greeted with a very hysterical Linda. Blood staining her hands, Frank's blood. I picked up the sharpest thing I saw, which was a bit of broken pen on the front desk and made a small cut on my hand, just enough for it to bleed. As she was still in her hysterical state, I grabbed Linda's hand and let Frank's blood mix with mine for as long as I dared.

"Gerard, come with me." Frank's grandpa took me firmly by the shoulder and led me away from the others. But I was surprised by my lack or nerves.

"Gerard, what exactly happened? Frankie was a little hysterical so we didn't get allot out of him, but I don't think you would have left that boy for no apparent reason." My mouth gaped open and I gasped, how the hell could he think that.

"No sir, never! I loved Frankie. I still do. But these constant attacks put me, Frankie, my brother and all my friends in danger. I had to leave and get away from it all.If I had told Frankie he would have tried to stop us, telling us he wouldn't let that happen, but there wouldn't be anything he could ever do to stop it. I didn't want to put him at risk. If he didn't know where I was, then he could honestly say that he didn't know where I was and therefore neither of us could be harmed. I know now that I should have warned him. I don't want this. I can't I just want my baby back." I turned my head away to stop Frank seeing the pain in my eyes. He sighed and ran his hand through his Grey hair. I felt bad about all this. Linda was right, it WAS all my fault. And I admit that. I stood dumbly with my arms by my side and my head still off to one side, until Frank turned my chin gently.

"I know you meant well Gerard. I knew you wouldn't just abandon him like that. You could tell by your eyes that day how much you loved him. The girl was obviously a decoy to distract you, Frank tried that a while ago, it didn't work." I moved my gaze quickly to meet him. Frank and Cody broke up? He was right, I DID love Eliza. But she WAS just a distraction. Now I felt even worse for using an innocent girl...wait? Innocent my ass, I had those photos. But I did like her, so it had hurt, just not as much as it should. I wanted to see Frankie, to let him know I was there, I was with him and that I loved him. But Linda wouldn't give, even when Frank took me back and tried to explain to her. Me and Mikey were taken back to Donna's house in tears. Not the orphanage, Donna's actual house. Helena, Mikey, Rachael and I were greeted by a tall man.

"Helena? What's up?" This man said in a kind voice. He looked at us three in curiosity and concern. Clearly bringing the kids back here was not in the everyday life of this family.

"These three are having a tough time. Donna asked for them to be brought back here. Mikey, Rachael, could you two please go make four coffees and get Gerard a soda, I have to talk to Gerard and Donald alone." The two nodded and left as Helena kept her hands on my shoulders as I stood in front of her. Donald, as I now knew him, was looking me up and down, taking in my pathetic state. My torn and dirty clothes, my skinny frame and my messy black hair must have been strange into this beautiful home. Still, we were welcomed with open arms.

"Gerard, we know your going through one hell of a time, and your coping well, but me, Donna and her husband Donald have been talking-." Helena started before Donna came out with two cups of coffee in hand, Mikey and Rachael behind her. They sat me and Mikey on the two seater couch, the adults on one and Rachael on the floor in front of me resting back against my legs.

"Okay, you all know that you've been through some shitty times. We know your backgrounds and we know how your families were." We glanced at each other and back at Helena. But Donna spoke next.

"We HAVE had a few people come forward to try and re-home you, but we couldn't do it. All four sets of parents wanted you separated, we knew you couldn't handle that. So...We've found two sets of parents, to adopt you, of course, if you want them to." Again, we all glanced at each other, this time we were nervous.

"Who?" Rachael was the first to speak. I rested my hands on her shoulders and rubbed them gently, her voice was shaking as were her hands as they came to her shoulder to rest on mine. Who was going to care for us next?