Lullaby And Goodnight

I stared at the dusty hospital floor. My brother gaping at me with his mouth open and a look of thrill etched all over his face.

"I can't believe you nearly kissed him! I didn't even know you were gay!" I finally met his gaze.

"I'm not." Mikey had a confused look. I stared at him with one eyebrow raised. A look of final realization dawned on him.

"Oh. Your bi?" I rolled my eyes.

"Finally the fucking pennies dropped." Mikey shrugged.

"Whatever floats your boat." I saw Helena grinning out of the corner of my eye. I glanced at her before reaching over and pulling the comic book from the paper bag. I flicked through the pages absent minded. I couldn't pay attention to anything. The person I'd had a crush on for about a month almost kissed me. A pang of sadness washed over me when I realized it probably didn't mean anything to him. Probably just lust or a spur of the moment thing. He probably isn't even gay or bi. I sighed and lent back deeper into my pillow.

"When can I get out of here?" I turned and questioned the still grinning nurse.

"That hot young boy with the fluffy hair said his mom was coming tomorrow and she'll decide things over with you both then. I'll think you'll be staying with them for a while." I laughed at her description of Ray.

If we were staying with Ray, we'd be in the same street as Frank. My heart pounded, the heart monitor was going berserk. Would it be awkward between us? Would he ever speak to me again? What does he really think of me? But at the same time I felt happy. Maybe we could build bridges. We could be friends at the very least right?

"Can I get these out yet?" I asked displaying the back of my hands. Helena looked slightly unsure.

"Um...okay." She sat beside me on my bed and took one of my hands softly and gently in hers. She carefully unwrapped the bandages used to keep them on until just the tape held it in, which she quickly removed. I looked away.

"Ready, one...two...THREE!" She quickly pulled it out and rubbed my hand. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Here see? No needle." I was satisfied that the blue plastic she showed me had no shiny metal point of agony on the end.

She repeated her gentle actions with the green plastic in my right hand. Then the white clip around my finger was taken off so I was unplugged from the heart monitor.

"I feel human again." I whispered to myself, but I still heard Mikey laugh slightly. "Thanks for not leaving me bro. You didn't have to stay." I glanced at him as I examined the little holes in the back of my hands, a tiny little drop of blood forming on each. I licked it off and smiled at the metallic taste.

"Your such a vampire." Mikey stated and Helena laughed.

"Don't mind son I do that too." She winked at me. I really liked her. She was funny and really motherly to us both. I grinned at her and pulled out my new sketch book and pencils. I began to draw Mikey laid back in the chair he was sat in. I just couldn't get it right. I growled in frustration.

"Here. Let me help." Helena sat right beside me. "Mikey hold still." He froze at her words and only moved his eyes to see what we were doing. Helena showed me exactly how to get every detail in. She drew the picture of my brother to a photo like standard. I stared in amazement. I glanced from the drawing to Mikey. I saw no difference. Every little detail was perfect, from the strands of his hair, to the shine on his glasses. I was amazed. Utterly and completely amazed.

"Holy hell. That's absolutely astounding." I whispered.

"It's easy really. If you follow what I said and practice with them. You'll learn how to do it. My grandmother taught me how to draw." I grinned and hugged her.

"Mikey look." I held out the drawing to him and he stared at it wide-eyed.

"Photos are cheating Helen."

"Oh please boys. Don't call me that, makes me feel old. Helena will do." Mikey smiled and sat back.

"Hey mom? How much is coffee down stairs?" Helena grinned.

"Well son. A small is around...$3 and a large is about $5." Mikey nodded.

"Hey Gee, mom, you guys wanna coffee?"

"I'll have a creamed latte please Mikes." I smiled gratefully at him.

"Oh if you don't mind Michael."

"Not at all. It's on me." Mikey smiled and received one in return from Helena.

"Could you get me a black coffee please?"

"Sure no problem. And call me Mikey. Michael makes me feel old!" He yelled as he ran out of the room as Helena jumped at him playfully for mocking her. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"You've been great Helena thanks." She smiled at me.

"It's my job. And you guys are great. I'll miss you when I have a screaming toddler in here again." She grimaced.

"Who did you have in here last?" I asked, watching her fold up my extra blanket.

"Oh lets see...We had a girl in, about your age, long blond hair, blue eyes, really girlie. Between you and me, she was a bitch." She whispered and I grinned.

"She sounds it. What was she like?"

"At first I tried to be nice with her, offered to bring her stuff in, play station Ecsetera. She told me to get stuffed calling me an old hag. Then had the cheek to tell me to go get her a nail file from the hospital gift shop." I shook my head. How can someone be like that to such a nice women. Fucking prep.

Mikey walked in on cue, a tray in hand with three steaming cups atop.

"Creamed latte." He announced passing me the hot drink, I savored the taste.

"Black coffee. And my hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows." He squeaked when he sat down with his sweet and sticky liquid treat.

"Mm Mikey. Frank covered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce." Helena laughed at Mikey's disgusted look. I licked my lips to add effect.

"No Gerard you bloody puff. That's your fantasy." I looked smart and posh.

"Proud to be a puff." We all laughed and settled down to the drinks. I lent back, sipping the hot drink dreamily. I had put a great thought of Frank and me being together.

I shouldn't have hesitated. I should have just kissed him. But am I really ready for my first kiss. Fifteen and still a virgin lips. Fuck I wasn't a virgin but I'd never kissed anyone before. But losing my virginity was my dad's fault. Does that really count? I doubt it. I might love Ray. Me was like the second brother I never had, but at the moment I was really ticked off at him. Why did he have to walk in at that exact moment. I finished my drink and put the cup on the bedside cabinet. I snuggled down into my pillow, still sat propped up on my pillow. I closed my eyes and carried on with my thoughts.

Would we have really kissed? Did it really happen? It must have done or Mikey and Helena wouldn't have mentioned it. Does Frank like me? Does Ray know what happened or did Frank keep him in suspense? Knowing him he probably did. I felt my limbs getting heavier and my eyelids failed to open when instructed. I fell asleep with dream of Frank, the kiss and somehow a dancing cup of coffee came into it.