Lullaby And Goodnight

*RACHAEL'S POV*

I groaned and tried to roll away from the annoying light shining in my eyes. I was surprised to roll into something when I turned. Memories suddenly swam back from last night and it was then I remembered where I was. I peeled my eyes open to see Gerard, who was leaning on his elbow and grinning down at me. He kissed my cheek softly and pushed my hair from my face.

"Morning sunshine. Come on, gerr up, Stacy made breakfast...and...wait for it...coffee!" He grinned in delight and lifted me from the bed. In other words I didn't have a choice. I was surprised at how gentle he was with me, and at first I wondered why. Usually he was always knocking me into things on purpose, only gently and to make me laugh and cling to him tighter, but today he was treating me like I was so fragile. Then I looked at my knees and saw the band aids. The bandage on my arm was comfy so I forgot until I looked and saw it.

"There you are. Oh morning Rachael, just in time." Stacy grinned and set a plate of bacon, sausage, beans and eggs in front of me. Can't forget the side of buttered toast as well as that steaming mug of coffee now can we. I thanked her as Gerard set me carefully on one of the wooden chairs.

"Don't worry Gerard, I wont break." I grinned at him. His weak smile that he flashed back meant that he did think I would break. I licked my lips and tucked in to breakfast. I was starving. Jake wouldn't let me eat last night. He said I had to loose weight so he wouldn't let me near the kitchen.

I listened quietly to Gerard and Stacy's conversation. From what I heard, I had slept in Gerard's basement bed while him and Stacy stayed upstairs. I didn't look up from the meal in front of me, but the smoke filled my nose and it was clear Gerard had lit a cigarette. I inhaled the last of the oxygen deeply and took my time to let it out before eating another strip of bacon. Ihoped wished that it was me Gerard just shared a kiss with. I really like him. But I'm just another kid. I'm a thirteen year old fuck up. Not fourteen until December. I was just the kid who lived in a fucked up relationship and always made Gerard deal with me afterwords. He tried to get me to tell someone, and I was too big a screw-up to actually do anything about it.

I glanced up in time to see them kiss again before Stacy put her plate in the sink and leave before her dad got home. She left me and Gerard alone. I could feel the tension in the air. I just wasn't sure he could.

"I'm sorry Gerard." I whispered softly after I finished my breakfast. He put down the mug of coffee he was just drinking and looked at me confused.

"For what sugar?" I looked up at him obviously. He raised his eyebrow and made me smile.

"Everything. I shouldn't make you deal with me every time Jake's finished with me. I should just learn to take care of everything myself. And I'm sorry for not being strong enough to tell anyone. I'm just scared. If they don't believe me, they'll ask Jake, and he's a good liar. Once he knows I've told once, he'll think I'll do it again, so he'll beat me up for that." I sighed and watched the tear from my eye splash on my plate and dissolve a tiny piece of food. Gerard stood up and moved behind me, leaning down and wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Don't be. You don't make me deal with everything. I choose to 'cause I love you. Your my best friend Rach, and I'm here to help you whenever you need me. You should know that. One day, Jake will be gone, and you can find someone who will look after you, and treat you right. Someone who'll give you the world and all it's values. Someone who'll love you forever. And he'll make you forget all about Jake. I promise he'll come one day." I sighed and brought my hands up to Gerard's arms.

"I think I've found him, but he has someone else." I looked up at him with huge eyes. He bit his lip and kissed mine quickly. I felt my heart flutter at the brief contact, but it was enough to know he cared. His hand brushed my cheek before he lifted my plate and cup and began to load everything into the dishwasher. I pulled myself up on wobbly legs but quickly caught my balance, with Gerard's help anyway.

"I wanna take you out. Where'd you wanna go?" I grabbed his shoulders to regain balance before letting go. I was still in only his shirt and boxers so I felt a little exposed against his jeans and T-shirt.

"You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to. But I want to." I smiled and thought for a minute.

"How about the New York zoo?" Gerard grinned and helped me down to the basement. He went into the basement bathroom to ready himself while I got dressed, though he left the door open in case I fell. I was getting my balance better now, though my legs were still a little sore. I wasn't sure what Jake had done, only he had really screwed with my ankles, making it hard to walk. I know they wern't broken, I'd know, but maybe chipped something?

"You ready?" Gerard emerged from the door, his har styled messy, looking hot. I smiled and nodded, pulling on a pair of trainers. Gerard smirked and helped me up. He took my hand and led me slowly up the stairs and to his car. Within a few minutes, we were on our way to the New York zoo.

I pressed my forehead against the cold glass and watched everything pass us by in a blurr of speed. Gerard's car smelled like pine trees. I sighed and closed my eyes. I wasn't going to tell Gerard I'd NEVER been out of New York or Jersey before.