Lullaby And Goodnight

I peeked out of the curtain for the millionth time that day. I jumped as Mikey sat himself down on my lap. I gave him a strange look before looking back outside. He followed my gaze and wrapped his arm around my neck.

"Mikey? What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm making it look like your gay and taken to the guy or girl your staring at." He shrugged and chewed his nails before running his now wet hand through his hair. I shuddered before looking back out of the window. I was becoming so paranoid.

"I'm not looking AT anyone, I'm looking FOR someone."

"Who?"

"Nobody for nosies. Now gerroff me I'm off to my room." Mikey slid off my lap and over to the couch as I made my way downstairs to my basement bedroom. It was dark down there. Dark and quite. The walls were painted black and I had a black carpet. It had taken me ages to persuade mom to let me have a black room. The only light was coming from the privacy window at the ceiling. If you went down the stairs in my room, at the end to the right was the bathroom door. By that was my desk with my computer and my art shit. To the left wall was my bed with crimson sheets. I had a blood red rug on my soft carpet and a crimson thick curtain hung over the tiny window. I had a double sleigh bed so it was massive with leather over the thick and strong frame. I yawned and fell back on my soft quilt.

I stared at the action figure of my favorite super-hero's around my room and on my shelves. I had stacks of comic books lined up. My walls were covered with things I'd drawn up or painted and the outside of my door was a full-size portrait of the Breakfast Monkey. A cartoon I had drawn up at the top if my head. I became more and more paranoid as the minutes ticked past. God damn it Gerard, stop being so paranoid, so the guys after you, since when have you been scared of jocks?" I growled and pulled down my bottle of vodka. Downing about three mouthfuls at once. I sighed and laid back down as the liquid ran down my throat and into my blood stream. I giggled to myself while slugging more vodka. Ah I loved this stuff. I puffed out a mouthful of air and pulled my now buzzing phone from my pocket.

"Hel-elo?" I giggled into the phone.

"Gerard? Hey it's Matt. Practice in an hour, you coming?"

"YEAH! Yeah yeah Matty cakes I'll be there. Love yoooooouuuu!" I slurred sloppily into the phone. The alcohol was having a huge effect on me.

"Urm...I love you too Gerard? Oh, and if you want, bring your little boyfriend." I squealed and hung up the phone. I stumbled up the stairs, laughing at everything and nothing. Everyone was in the kitchen, so I took up all the self control I had left and said I was going out. Mikey tagged along, since he was in the band too and I tried to stay straight and walk in a straight line. If Mikey knew I'd been drinking, he wouldn't have come with me, and we wouldn't have been able to practice. I took my car again, no way could I walk right, and drove round to Frankie's. When I blasted the horn, I saw his beautiful face appear at the window, a grin split his face once he saw me. He opened the ground floor window and hopped out, not bothering to take the front door.

"Hey Gee. Going somewhere baby?" Mikey shuddered playfully from the seat behind me and I unlocked the passenger door where Frankie was leaning on the open window.

"Get in Frankie babe, your gonna meet the band." I smiled drunkenly at him and he smiled back, not picking up on how wasted I was. He climbed in beside me, pecking my lips before buckling up. I raced down the streets and around corners at full speed, not using my breaks once. My brother and boyfriend clung to their seats for dear life as I screamed and laughed all the way there. Matt smirked and flicked away his cigarette once my car slammed to a halt in front of his drive way. I turned off the engine and literally fell from the car, laughing once I hit the pavement. Frankie and Mikey looked wary and a little more aware of my condition, but Matt still laughed and helped me up.

"Gotta lay off the vodka there Gerard. You have company." I giggled and accepted the hand he held out to me. I got up and followed him inside his garage. He nodded for Frank to sit on a pile of boxes while I tried to introduce him to the other guys in the band. Though he knew Ray who instantly sat beside him.

"Okay, so...This is-This is Matty-watty cakes. This is Mi-Mikey, and this is Matty watty cakes, and this is da fro!" I giggled and hiccuped before falling simply on my ass. Frankie came over and sat on my lap, his legs either side of me. He looked at me concerned and brushed a strand of black hair from my face.

"Gerard, you've drank way to much. You need to sober up." Ouch. He didn't use my nickname.

"I'm not drunk, just a little tipsy. I'm fine Frankie babe don't worry." I didn't even know Matt had gone until he came back with a glass of water and an aspirin. I sipped the water until I felt a little better and the headache kicked in, so I took the aspirin before it got worse. Once I put the tablet in my mouth, Frank kissed my lips. He lingered a little before sliding his tongue into my mouth and pushed the tablet a little further back on my own, forcing me to swallow involuntarily. The pressure on his tongue when I'd swallowed made him moan into my mouth. I was getting lost into the kiss, and I think Frankie was too, when one of the guys cleared their throat to catch our attention. I pecked him one last time before looking up.

"Sing Gerard." Matt urged, pulling me up once Frankie got off me and guiding me in front of the mic.

"What we singing?" Matty shrugged and sat behind his drum kit. Ray and Mikey set up their guitars, except Mikey's was bass. They made sure they were in tune before looking up at me. I sighed and tapped my fingernails on the mic stand and looked at Frankie. He was looking at the floor, and he looked deep in thought. That's when the song I wanted came to my head. Frankie's eyes met mine and I began to sing. The guitars and drums joined me on the second line.

"How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my Life.

Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in My life

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live?

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby cause you know your everything good in My life

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live

How do I live without you
How do I live without you baby…
How do I live…"

I held Frankie's gaze all the way through and once I'd finished, his eyes were brimming with tears. I smiled and winked at him before he ran forward and threw his arms around my neck. I lifted him slightly and felt his legs wrap around my waist.

"I love you Gee." I smiled and felt the hot tears fall from Frankie's eyes.

"I love you too Frankie baby." I turned my head to face him and he did the same. I kissed him softly and made sure it was full of love. I wanted to prove how much he meant to me.

"Gerard, only you could make that song sound good." Matt laughed and set up a slow and steady beat, the guitars joined in and that's when I heard the music without lyrics for the first time.

"Guys there's something missing." I stated, dragging my lips away from Frankie's. They all looked at me in confusion.

"Like what? We have drums, bass, electric guitar and singer, what more do we need?" I tilted my head to the side and listened.

"More sound. Maybe rhythm guitar." They shrugged and went back to the sound like they didn't care. So I acted the same way to them. I let Frankie down and listened to the music quietly. Meh, it will have to do for now.