Status: it will be done tonight. I HOPE
Here without you
Alli's POV
Jack and I had grown up together. We had been at the same daycare and saw each other at least every Saturday. We had been so close and when we were young, we got teased for it. He was my best friend and I was his. There were zero secrets between us. I cried harder. This was our spot, until well now.
Our parents always assumed we would date, but they never assumed how long. We started dating in 7th grade. The first formal was our first date. We were inseparable. He was my first kiss. And I fantasized about marrying him almost every night. Being with him felt so right, it was perfect. We had been homecoming king and queen for years, and the school’s longest and cutest couple. We were about to graduate high school now, 8 months left, and then the fighting started.
It started out slow at first, him wanting to be more serious and more public. He wanted to show me off instead of just be with me. All in all he changed. And it wasn’t for the better. But I was never expecting this. We were in the hall talking normally during a passing period he pinned me against the locker and kissed me I pulled away and got out of it and walked out to class, but not before I heard all the guys laughing.
Okay it will be fine, I thought while copying the notes off the whiteboard in history. It’s just him showing off again, trying to look cool in front of the guys. I passed it off, until I saw him during passing period. And boy he was pissed
He came stomping up to me and people gathered around, and a little part of me knew what was going to happen now. His voice was loud and furious and each word cut me like a knife. “We are over you greedy little bitch. I am done with all your innocent bullshit.” Can you believe he said that in front of all those people? I couldn’t. But do you want to know what hurt most? What he said after, “Why I ever liked you in the first place is beyond me.” I wanted so bad to slap him I wanted to kill the boy. But I couldn’t even move. I felt my face go red and I felt tears well in my eyes. “Go to hell” was all I could say in return. And with that he walked away laughing, taking half the school with him. I stood there the whole passing period, I didn’t even hear the bell and I did something no “goody two shoes” would ever do. I walked out of school.
I pretended I was fine I held my head up high in the hallways. I talked about him like it didn’t hurt. I even made my eyes twinkle and laugh. No one suspected a thing. At night I would take the pocket knife from my dads work pants pocket and sit on my bed crying pressing the knife against my ribs or against the raw flesh of my wrist. Every night I fell asleep crying and bleeding dreaming of how we used to be. Every single long day of the next week I had to walk down that hall covering my skin, hiding my tears. It was getting easier, becoming natural and I really didn’t care. I was fighting with my parents so often now I didn’t even talk at home. And no I didn’t eat anything after we broke up. It was a week later and I had only drunk water.
I was adapting my broken heart still beating duly and the cutting deeper. Until 5 Mondays after it happened. I hadn't seen him since. And to be honest until the moment I saw him I missed him. But when I saw him, then I lost my composure, and to be honest I don’t think I ever found it.
I saw him walking down the hall with Sherri. Yes that is what I said Sherri. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but Sherri?! She was the biggest slut in the WORLD. I could promise you. She had literally screwed every guy (freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors) since we came to this school. Every guy had seen pictures of her naked, and she walked around in daisy dukes and her bikini top, even at school! I mean during class she had a white shirt on over but at lunch. Yeah, I wish. Jack was the only one she hadn’t slept with. Well obviously until now, and the way she was all over him, to be honest it made me sick.
I went on with my day, avoiding everyone. I didn’t want to deal with it, so I didn’t. I got home to find Jack and his parents in the living room. “Jack go on up with Alli now ok?” his mom replied shooing him away not giving either of us time to answer and she pushed him into the room with me.
He had a smug smile and I locked myself in my bathroom. I took out the pocket knife and cut deep. I mean blood everywhere and I was dizzy, fast. I opened the door just before I passed out and showed him my wrist. “Happy now? I told you I couldn’t live without you.” Then I heard it here without you~ three doors down playing on the radio. And with that I fainted.
Our parents always assumed we would date, but they never assumed how long. We started dating in 7th grade. The first formal was our first date. We were inseparable. He was my first kiss. And I fantasized about marrying him almost every night. Being with him felt so right, it was perfect. We had been homecoming king and queen for years, and the school’s longest and cutest couple. We were about to graduate high school now, 8 months left, and then the fighting started.
It started out slow at first, him wanting to be more serious and more public. He wanted to show me off instead of just be with me. All in all he changed. And it wasn’t for the better. But I was never expecting this. We were in the hall talking normally during a passing period he pinned me against the locker and kissed me I pulled away and got out of it and walked out to class, but not before I heard all the guys laughing.
Okay it will be fine, I thought while copying the notes off the whiteboard in history. It’s just him showing off again, trying to look cool in front of the guys. I passed it off, until I saw him during passing period. And boy he was pissed
He came stomping up to me and people gathered around, and a little part of me knew what was going to happen now. His voice was loud and furious and each word cut me like a knife. “We are over you greedy little bitch. I am done with all your innocent bullshit.” Can you believe he said that in front of all those people? I couldn’t. But do you want to know what hurt most? What he said after, “Why I ever liked you in the first place is beyond me.” I wanted so bad to slap him I wanted to kill the boy. But I couldn’t even move. I felt my face go red and I felt tears well in my eyes. “Go to hell” was all I could say in return. And with that he walked away laughing, taking half the school with him. I stood there the whole passing period, I didn’t even hear the bell and I did something no “goody two shoes” would ever do. I walked out of school.
I pretended I was fine I held my head up high in the hallways. I talked about him like it didn’t hurt. I even made my eyes twinkle and laugh. No one suspected a thing. At night I would take the pocket knife from my dads work pants pocket and sit on my bed crying pressing the knife against my ribs or against the raw flesh of my wrist. Every night I fell asleep crying and bleeding dreaming of how we used to be. Every single long day of the next week I had to walk down that hall covering my skin, hiding my tears. It was getting easier, becoming natural and I really didn’t care. I was fighting with my parents so often now I didn’t even talk at home. And no I didn’t eat anything after we broke up. It was a week later and I had only drunk water.
I was adapting my broken heart still beating duly and the cutting deeper. Until 5 Mondays after it happened. I hadn't seen him since. And to be honest until the moment I saw him I missed him. But when I saw him, then I lost my composure, and to be honest I don’t think I ever found it.
I saw him walking down the hall with Sherri. Yes that is what I said Sherri. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but Sherri?! She was the biggest slut in the WORLD. I could promise you. She had literally screwed every guy (freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors) since we came to this school. Every guy had seen pictures of her naked, and she walked around in daisy dukes and her bikini top, even at school! I mean during class she had a white shirt on over but at lunch. Yeah, I wish. Jack was the only one she hadn’t slept with. Well obviously until now, and the way she was all over him, to be honest it made me sick.
I went on with my day, avoiding everyone. I didn’t want to deal with it, so I didn’t. I got home to find Jack and his parents in the living room. “Jack go on up with Alli now ok?” his mom replied shooing him away not giving either of us time to answer and she pushed him into the room with me.
He had a smug smile and I locked myself in my bathroom. I took out the pocket knife and cut deep. I mean blood everywhere and I was dizzy, fast. I opened the door just before I passed out and showed him my wrist. “Happy now? I told you I couldn’t live without you.” Then I heard it here without you~ three doors down playing on the radio. And with that I fainted.
♠ ♠ ♠
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