There's Something Wrong With Gerard

I lounged on my bed, munching on leftover pizza from last night, when my mother once again didn’t bother to make a proper dinner. My small TV was on, making annoying buzzing sound along with the audio of the program. I picked up the small remote and started to change the channel, no longer interested in my homework, and landed on the Channel Six News.

“Sixteen year old Gerard Way has been reported missing for two weeks now-” I clicked mute on the remote, shutting the infuriating news reporter up, and looked back down on my biology homework. That’s the last thing I wanted to think about, one of my oldest friend being on a missing sign at the local grocery store.

I gazed over at my side table, where a framed picture of a ten year old me and a small boy were hugging each other, smiling like there was no tomorrow. A faint smile played on my lips as I picked up the portrait, eyes scanning it over. I looked different back then. My hair was actually long like every girls hair should be like. Now it was short and spiked in a Mohawk kind of way. There were no tattoos on young me, no piercing or make-up. Most would look at this old picture and wouldn’t believe it was me. They’d probably deny it and tell me I was lying. I would too if I didn’t keep the picture on my bedside table.

But I didn’t keep the picture because of me. I kept the picture because of the little boy I was hugging. He, on the other hand, didn’t look much different back then. Except maybe that his hair was much longer now then before. Other then that, it looked like the same boy. It was the same boy. He had black clothes on, even though it was clearly a sunny day when the photo was taken. His messy hair matched his clothes, and contrasted with his pale skin. Strands of his midnight mane laid in front of his hazel eyes, which were glowing with happiness. A tear fell on top of the glass that kept the memory safe. I didn’t even know I was crying. My hand wiped my eyes, and I carefully turned my attention back to the T.V. screen.

There was a picture of the same boy, but six years after the photograph that stood on my side every night. Like I said, he didn’t look much different. Except now his hair reached his shoulders and his eyes weren’t glowing with happiness as it had before. Instead, there was a hidden sadness beneath those hazel eyes. I recognized the picture they were showing on the news to be the school pictures we took at the beginning of this year. He wasn’t even smiling.

“Oh, Gerard” My voice found it’s way, but it came out as a whimper. A plead. He wasn’t exactly my best friend, not anymore at least. We used to do everything together. Every weekend it was either me sleeping at his house or him at mine. We were inseparable. When the teachers split us up in different classes, we’d make such a fuss that they were forced to make us change classes so we were together. Not only was he first best friend, he was my first playground crush. My first love even.

But hearts were made to be broken, or soon I found out after we hit high school. Gerard stopped being my best friend. Instead, he drifted away. Not just from me, but from everyone. Soon our weekend sleepovers turned to monthly sleepovers. And even then it was awkward to be around. He acted like he wanted to be alone and wanted nothing to do with the world. Or more importantly, me. So, I started to hang out with his little brother, Mikey. Now it wasn’t sleepovers with Gerard, it was sleepovers with Mikey. Hanging out with Mikey, doing stuff with Mikey. But I‘ll admit, I wanted it to be with Gerard

Sure, Mikey was alright but he wasn’t Gerard. Or at least, he wasn’t the old Gerard. I tried again and again to get the old Gerard back and at least be considered his friend. I tried numerous amount of times and failed at all of them. He wouldn’t even tell me why, why he pushed all of us out of his life, why he decided to be such a tool. That hurt me that most. He left me with no reason, just a question.

I wouldn’t give up though, I’d never give up on Gerard. As lame and Hannah Montanna as this sound, he was my best friend and my first love. No teenage bullshit will change that. There was also the fact that that question will forever haunt me. Why?

Knock, knock my window went, followed by three faster knocks. Well, not really. I snapped my head to the window and immediately got up and down to the window. Most would be alarmed and call 911, but I knew who it was. I mean, he did the secret knock and that only meant one person.

“Mikey” I opened the window to reveal a boy who was about three years younger then I. He had a patch of dirty blonde hair, completed with dorky glasses. Little Mikey Way, my new replacement for Gerard. I didn’t greet Mikey with a smile like I usually did though, and neither did he. We were both still in the stages of shock and depression since Gerard went missing.

Gerard was a thing me and Mikey had in common. Gerard hadn’t only been my best friend, but Mikey’s older brother. I mean, Mikey would follow Gerard and I almost everywhere. It was weird how I didn’t think of Mikey much until after Gerard decided to become a major dick. It was how we became friends coincidentally. See, Mikey also got the worse of Gerards change of attitude, leaving him in the dark as well.

Mikey climbed in, jumping up and dusting the soot off his clothing. We didn’t say anything, but the silence spoke for us. He looked up and I gave him a little sympathetic smirk. He returned it and then, we just stood there. Lost in our thoughts. My arms were folded over my chest and his were hanging on his side. Both our eyes were focused on the floor that became very interesting.

We didn’t need to speak with words, I knew me and him were thinking the same thing. It’s been two weeks since Gerard’s disappearance and still nothing. Our silence soon sunk to hopelessness.

Mikey was the first to cut it. “Do you think-”

“No” I said in a firm voice, now looking up at him. Even though he was three years younger, he was at my height. Maybe even taller. Fuck, I was small

The younger boy let out a sigh of desperation. “Frankie, he’s been gone for two weeks. He’s gone”

“Don’t lose faith Mikey!” I shouted, angry now. How dare he give up on his only brother!

Silence. That awful silence once again took over. His eyes were averted to the floor, awkwardly. I kept my glare on him. Gerard wasn’t gone. He can’t. I won’t believe it.
Two thin arms engulfed me with a hug. My arms unravelled themselves and placed around Mikey shoulders as well. I pulled him close, thinking of multiple things that could of happened to Gerard. Each one worse then the next. Oh, Gerard.

“I got to go” Mikey whispered softly, almost with no voice at all, and pulled away. He made his way back to the window and with one more glance and a comforting smirk, he climbed out and down the house. I didn’t move, I barely even breathed.

You’d think it would be impossible, to get lost in a town like this. Where would you go? Are the police so stupid they can’t even find one person in a town with the population of, what? Five hundred? Give or take. This town is full of dead ends, not only in streets but in lives too. There’s no where to run, no where to hide. We’re all fucked.