The Scorpion and the Frog

I say I don’t care, but that is a damned dirty lie. I actually care a lot. I care about you enough to hate you with every fiber of my being.

When I ask myself, “How would I react if she died?” I’ve finally figured it out. It’s the worst crime of all… because I wouldn’t cry for you. I wouldn’t mourn you. Missing you wouldn’t even cross my mind.

You know why?

You want to know the pathetic reason as to why?

Without you, my life would get so much better. I’ve been without you for so many years and I’ve only felt more alive. But every time I see you I die just a little bit. And no matter how many times I tell you that I hate you, that I never want to see you again and that I do not love you at all—you still pretend to care.

You can’t lie to me anymore. You’re a pathetic liar. It makes me so sad to think that you have an entire relationship with you’re new husband based entirely on lies. Well, I really hope you’re happy now. You pushed away everyone who ever loved and cared about you, you made me hate you—I how that makes you go to sleep smiling every night.

I gave you so many chances, I tried when everyone else turned their back, and you kept slapping me in the face. But I kept on trying because I cared. Because I loved you so much. But it’s been six years, and I’ve finally realized… you cannot change.

My father once told me a story about a frog and a scorpion—

“There was once a scorpion who wanted to go across a lake. So he asked a frog that happened to swim close to the shore for assistance. The frog, being generous, agreed to help the scorpion across the lake but only if the scorpion did not sting him. Halfway across the lake the scorpion stung the frog. With his last breath the frog asked why the scorpion did that, because they were both going to drown. The scorpion answered, ‘I’m sorry, it’s in my nature’.”

You are just a scorpion, and it will be your demise. I extended a helping hand (more than once), and you stung me (every time).

It seemed that the universe was telling me that being nice to you was a mistake. We went out to a Chinese restaurant and I got a fortune cookie that said, “You try- you fail. You try- you fail. So why keep trying?”

You are a loosing battle, my hope for you is long gone, I’m not going to get stung anymore because of you, and I am definitely not going to get anymore insulting fortune cookies from the universe.

So Mom, I give up, this is my white flag, my surrender, call this your victory but I do not feel defeated. In the end, you’ll realize how badly you’ve treated me, and how much I tried to love you. All I ever wanted was a mom to love me the way all other moms did their children. But if that is your way of showing affection, then count me out.

I’m done.