Turn That Smile Upside Down

Beer cans stroon across the floor and the house was in total ruins I wasn't completely sure what to make of this. I had expected that my father had drank away his pain like always, and went upstairs to sleep it off till the he would sercome to the hang over that was waiting for him. I walked around playing maid... picking up after him. I decided I should go upstairs and make sure he was drowning in his own throw up. The walk to his room was surprisingly daunting I had this feeling in my stomach that something wasn't right..
I was almost debating about turning the door knob to his room..I finally got the courage to open his door, and to my surprise.. there was no one in the room.
On his nightstand there was a small piece of paper.
"Jayden, I'm sorry that I have let you down as a father.. you were a great son to me and I had no reason to treat you the way I did. I was a drunk, and a drug addict. Though you weren't exactly close to me, I just wanted to let you know that you deserve better than me and I'm leaving you the rest of my money in the bank for you to better yourself.
Make better choices than me?
Regrettably,
your.. "father"

I didn't have any emotion from reading that letter. I felt as cold in the heart as stone.. and to dispose of the memory of him I ripped up the letter and burnt it. I grabbed the card that he had left for me on the table, and started to walk to the bank.I needed some way to get rid of this pain I had in my heart from the past two days. Maybe I would get hit by a car or something on the way to the bank.
When I reached the bank I was pondering how much I should take out, so I settled for 400,it would be enough... I walked away from the bank letting my feet take me as far as they would go, I wasn't expecting to get as far as I did. I ended up in down town, in a not so good area... but it didn't much matter to me at the moment.
A strange looking man had spotted me loitering on the sidewalk.
"hey kid.. looking to "speed" up your night?" he had a awkward stance and was missing teeth, I kind of thought he was homeless and looking for money with the way he was really thin and had a knotted up beard and hair. "um.. sure?" I decided I would give this poor guy some money, he seemed worse off than me, so why not? " how much you want kid?" he grabbed multiple little bags from his pocket. " I don't know, how much do you want?" I figured I would let him tell me instead of just giving him one dollar and walking away. " 150? that sound good to you?.. I'm letting you have it real cheap, you share it with me and you can have it for a discount price.." Okay, I had no idea what I was getting my self into.. but right now I guess what ever it was, it was going to erase what I've been through. "Alright I'll let you have some.." I handed him some money and he proceeded to take me out of sight, where the cops couldn't see us.
He took out a bag that had white powder in it, a mirror and a razor, he started to cut the powder with the razor and making lines of it. " Go ahead kid, take a hit" he was pushing the mirror to me. " Nah, you take the first one" I figured if I let him go first I could watch and then copy what he does" the old man took out a rolled up piece of paper, and sniffed the powder up his nose. When he passed me the mirror I did the same,and felt an instant rush. This was the last time I was going to know who I really was.