Cared For
Cared For
I watched as my boyfriend of eight years walked out of the room after he brutally broke up with me in front of my friends. I held in my tears the best I could as I listened to him walk to the front door, slamming it shut as he exited. Hearing the door slam broke the dam holding back the tears. Falling to my knees I let out a ragged scream. My hair fell around my face as I hugged myself, rocking back and forth. My friends fell down around me, afraid to touch me; all they could do was watch. My cries kept coming, scratching my throat as they made their way out. The tears fell from my eyes in uncontrollable waves, making my red, wavy hair stick to my face.
When my sobbing died down, my friends touched me. They held me in their loving circle in a futile attempt to make me feel better, make me feel loved. Soon the tears dried up and I was reduced to dry sobbing. My voice was too destroyed to continue screaming, but I tried, soft painful sounds came out at a result. Julian, one friend in peculiar, held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth, moving with my body. Finally he scooped me into his arms and took me into my bathroom.
"Jaimie," he said, "Jaimie, I'm going to take you into the shower with me, get you warm, okay?" I didn't respond as he turned to operate the shower, the sound of the water hitting the side of the shower thundered to life, making me jump.
Julian turned to me and picked me up, he moved into the shower, the water beating on us with its warmth. He sat down on the floor cradling me in his lap I gave a dry sob and said, "He's gone," gripping his shirt I cried into his shoulder, "He's gone."
"I know, Jaimie, I know. But I'm right here."
"He's gone, and it's my fault. It's my fault that he's gone, and now he's gone-"
"Baby, it's going to be okay."
"I'm the reason he left, the reason he doesn't love me anymore."
"I love you, Jaimie."
"Why?"
Julian sat me up, made me look at him, "Why? Because you're perfect just the way you are, and no man should ever change that. I would never change you."
Tears formed again and mixed with the shower water that streamed down my face. Looking into Julian's eyes I saw every raw emotion that my best friend had for me. All of these years and he only hid them. Gripping the back of my head, he kissed me forcefully, our wet mouths sliding with the other. I kissed him back, feeling all of my pain go away in him. I clung to him more as I pressed my mouth into the kiss. My teeth cut the inside of my lower lip and blood leaked slowly into my mouth. Julian pulled away then, cupping my face in his hands.
"Jaimie, I love you."
I choked on a sob, I nodded to let him know that I understood what he was saying, "It's too soon."
"It's never too soon for love."
I gasped and kissed him again, loving the way he made me feel inside as he held me in his arms, as he kissed me. I forgot all about myboyfriend ex-boyfriend as I was held in Julian's arms, and I gave myself fully to him, because I knew that I would never be alone, or hurt when I was with him. I gave myself fully to him because I knew that when I was with him I was with someone who truly cared for me, and would make sure I was happy no matter what. And I was going to be okay… I was okay.
When my sobbing died down, my friends touched me. They held me in their loving circle in a futile attempt to make me feel better, make me feel loved. Soon the tears dried up and I was reduced to dry sobbing. My voice was too destroyed to continue screaming, but I tried, soft painful sounds came out at a result. Julian, one friend in peculiar, held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth, moving with my body. Finally he scooped me into his arms and took me into my bathroom.
"Jaimie," he said, "Jaimie, I'm going to take you into the shower with me, get you warm, okay?" I didn't respond as he turned to operate the shower, the sound of the water hitting the side of the shower thundered to life, making me jump.
Julian turned to me and picked me up, he moved into the shower, the water beating on us with its warmth. He sat down on the floor cradling me in his lap I gave a dry sob and said, "He's gone," gripping his shirt I cried into his shoulder, "He's gone."
"I know, Jaimie, I know. But I'm right here."
"He's gone, and it's my fault. It's my fault that he's gone, and now he's gone-"
"Baby, it's going to be okay."
"I'm the reason he left, the reason he doesn't love me anymore."
"I love you, Jaimie."
"Why?"
Julian sat me up, made me look at him, "Why? Because you're perfect just the way you are, and no man should ever change that. I would never change you."
Tears formed again and mixed with the shower water that streamed down my face. Looking into Julian's eyes I saw every raw emotion that my best friend had for me. All of these years and he only hid them. Gripping the back of my head, he kissed me forcefully, our wet mouths sliding with the other. I kissed him back, feeling all of my pain go away in him. I clung to him more as I pressed my mouth into the kiss. My teeth cut the inside of my lower lip and blood leaked slowly into my mouth. Julian pulled away then, cupping my face in his hands.
"Jaimie, I love you."
I choked on a sob, I nodded to let him know that I understood what he was saying, "It's too soon."
"It's never too soon for love."
I gasped and kissed him again, loving the way he made me feel inside as he held me in his arms, as he kissed me. I forgot all about myboyfriend ex-boyfriend as I was held in Julian's arms, and I gave myself fully to him, because I knew that I would never be alone, or hurt when I was with him. I gave myself fully to him because I knew that when I was with him I was with someone who truly cared for me, and would make sure I was happy no matter what. And I was going to be okay… I was okay.