Just Keep Your Head Above

Unfortunately, I did wake up the next morning. I laid still in my bed, my eyes seeming to be the only thing that could move. I turned to my side and my body was so much heavier than it had been yesterday. My eyes focused on the wall next to my bed scattered with his face everywhere in pictures and I burst out sobbing.

His severe voice cut my heart strings, the questions plagued my mind and I had never wanted to remember my life more than right now. I wanted to storm into his room and answer them all and beg for forgiveness. I glared at my ceiling after turning around and closed my eyes again falling back asleep.

The next time I awoke was from my mom gently calling my name and touching my shoulder lightly, I opened my eyes and saw a sympathetic smile before she told me I had to wake up and work on my school work. I nodded slowly before dragging myself out of bed. I had the worst headache and couldn't care. My heart was beating lightly and dull until I stood up and pulled off all my clothes and put on a random black v-neck I found and ripped denim shorts.

Y-y-you? How? Why? screamed into my mind and I felt tears leak from my eye. I laid down sat down in front of my mirror and saw bags I'd never seen before and put makeup to cover up all signs of heart break from my face. At least physically, my eyes still poured out sadness, but there was no concealer for that.

I walked down the stairs and held onto the rail to keep myself from falling over. Every step felt like I had just run a marathon, but I just kept going. I saw Charlie and John sitting on the bar talking quietly until John noticed me and gave me a similar smile to the one my mother had given me.

"Hey kid, how you doing?" Charlie asked turning to see me with a look of surprise on his face. I shrugged and continued into the kitchen, my stomach growled but I didn't want to eat. I settled on a diet coke before running my fingers through my jet black hair.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" His voice echoed slightly, he was holding a the box in his hands reading it while I shook the bottle, my hair in a sloppy bun as his old black band shirt hung over my body. I simply gave him a huge smile and nodded.

"I need some change in my life, it'll be a new chapter just me and you," I smiled. He didn't know what I meant, but before he could say anything I poured the thick liquid over my hair. I took a deep breath hoping that dark, dark brown was similar to black without the blue undertone.

"It's always be just you and me babe," He smiled kissing my cheek, wary of the chemical smelling bottle in my hand. I grinned kissing him back before apply it all into my hair. We sat laughing and talking on the tile floor of my bathroom. After I had washed it out in the shower after kicking him out of the bathroom despite his persistence. I got redressed and blew dry my hair shocked at the change and walked into my bedroom where Garrett was staring at the pictures of us smiling on the beach.

"Baby, we should go back to California, minus your brother and the guys next time. I mean, so it's less like a frat party and more like a couple's get away," He joked before turning around and letting his mouth drop a little.

"What? Does it look okay?" I asked running my fingers through my waves and searched his eyes for anything other than shock. I stared at him until the corners of his lips turned up and he walked towards me kissing me.

"It looks great, are you always gonna change your hair color when you we start a new chapter?" He chuckled, playing with the ends of it.

"Hello? Cory! Cory? Earth to Cory," Charlie pestered until I was yanked out of my reverie and stared at him. He tilted his head before proceeding hesitantly with what he was saying before. "Anyways, John says the guys have band practice if you wanna come and try to talk to Garrett again?"

"Uh, what time?" I asked, with an idea that popped into my mind. I felt my hair once more and smiled to myself with an idea. I knew that it was far-fetched, but I was willing to try anything, because I knew I loved him. I would do anything for him.

"Four-thirty, what's that smile for?" Charlie asked suspiciously, he stared at me trying to read my mind, and looked to John before I grabbed his car keys, since my had been totaled in the wreck.

"I'll be back by then, can I get a ride?" I asked as I grabbed my purse and started walking toward the door, texting my friend Sam who had evidently was my best girl friend here. She was scattered in a majority of the pictures on my walls and she said she would meet me there.

"Yeah, where are you going? Are you taking my car?! Cory!" Charlie leaned over his barstool before I walked out and into the car. Technically, I hadn't driven in a while but I'm sure I could figure it out. It was supposed to be like riding a bike, I felt a pang of fear remembering the headlights and the crashes surrounding me. I bit my lip and checked my phone for the directions.

"CORY! I can't believe all the shit that's happened! I'm so sorry, I was in the Philippines. I just got back yesterday." A small carmel skinned girl came and tackled me in a hug before noticing the sadness in my eyes that I felt in my chest with every beat of my heart. "What happened?" I sighed before telling her everything. I barely knew her, but I felt a comfort with her and everything came spilling out. "Well damn, let's get in there.

let me know how it goes! love you girl, let me know if you need anything and i demand we hang out soon :) I read the text from Sam before smiling and pulling into my driveway. I saw Charlie starting to walk out of the house and he paused when he saw me double taking.

"Uh, Cory? Dude! Where have you been! We need to be at Pat's house in five minutes," Charlie said before pushing me back into the car, John climbed into the back seat doing the same thing before looking at Charlie for answers.

"Dude, when did that happen? Are you ready? I just want you to know, I am there for you. I'll be your wall and your support!" John tried to hype me up as we turned into the Kirch driveway and we all climbed out. I followed Charlie and John to the basement and took a deep breath before walking in and feeling eyes on me.

"Whoa, Cory! I like your hair," Pat said smiling up at me before giving me a light hug, judgement in his eyes. I wouldn't blame him, if I was in his shoes I would probably have that same look in his eyes. I muttered a small thanks to him and searched the room for Garrett.

"Hey," I said timidly, everyone pretended to be setting up while still listening to our conversation and I was very aware of it.

"Hi," Garrett spat out bitterly, looking at me with a disdain that made me hate myself more. "Changed your hair?" He said begrudgingly raising an eyebrow at me, as if that was a betrayal too.

"Yeah, new chapter remember?" I asked, hoping he would remember when we were happy in my bathroom. I ran my fingers through my newly dyed auburn hair and bit my lip, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Sadness grew in his eyes as the memory flickered in his mind for a quick second before the spite came back.

"Yeah, did you come here for a reason?" He spat again, shooting daggers at me with his eyes. He lowered his eyes to the floor and let out a big sigh. I knew this was harder for him than it was for me, but I was begging for an in.

"To talk to you? To tell you I'm so sorry and that I love you, uh, if you ever can forgive me then you have my number," I nodded tearing up a little bit, Garrett just walked towards his bass and started tuning it and suddenly the silence and everyone's eyes became obvious. "Charlie can I borrow your car, I'm gonna go to the Circle K," I asked just saying the first thing that popped into my mind.

"Yeah," Charlie sighed before hugging me tightly. I waved to everyone before trekking up the stairs feeling defeated and the same heartache seemed amplified. I walked outside and climbed into the car trying to keep myself from crying but failing. I ended up driving for a good thirty minutes randomly until I saw a gas station and I pulled in realizing I was completely starving.

I wiped the few tears that had fell and kept my eyes on my shoes until I walked inside and after hearing the chime looked up seeing a man in a ski mask pointing a gun at the clerk. My jaw dropped before I heard a click and a barrel pressed to my back, a low, rough voice whispered into my ear, "One peep and you're dead."