Just Keep Your Head Above

After the show, which was completely awesome, I had a wind of energy hit me up and after we all piled up into the van to go home Pat and I started spazzing out together singing obnoxious to RUN-DMC and jumping around in the backseat. Garrett simply laughed at me as we pulled into the Kirch driveway.

"So tell me, you're quite the stud, huh," I said, out of breath and smiling at him referring to the massive amounts of girls who wanted to meet him after the show. I wasn't jealous, I was just curious on how he dealt with all of these things. I bit my lip looking big-eyed towards him, while everyone went into the house to order pizza.

"Uh, not really," Garrett smirked, tapping my chin gently with his thumb. No one had ever
done that to me before, I felt my cheeks heat up as we continued our intense eye contact until my brother yelled for us to come inside. "After you," Garrett smiled before holding his hand out and placing a hand on my lower back nudging me towards the door.

"Dude, are you being serious right now?! FUCK ME!" John screamed at the television screen, leaving Garrett and I completely confused until we saw Jared snickering, X-BOX controllers are in both their hands. I smiled and shook my head at the ridiculousness of boys.

"What are you doing later?" I asked Garrett, playing around with my phone when suddenly it vibrated. I saw Ross's name pop up on the screen and couldn't help the curiosity swelling up inside me. Garrett was saying something about not having any plans and asking me something as I read the text messages. wanna hang out tonight :), it read, I tilted my head wondering why no one mentioned Ross and I were friends who hung out.

I had no reason to say anything other than yes, and looked up smiling at Garrett who was asking me whether or not I wanted to go to the arcade and eat pizza. It didn't really sound like fun, but I couldn't say for sure, because Garrett made things fun.

"I'm really sorry Garrett, but someone just asked me to hang out and I haven't even seen them since the accident, do you mind?" I asked raising my eyebrow expecting some form of anger. Instead, I was met with laughter and a smile.

"Sure, I'm glad. We were all worried about you so it'll be good for Sam to see you again," Garrett smiled, I looked up hearing the name Sam- I didn't know who Sam was and why he or she was worried about me, but I smiled unsurely. "You're hanging out with Sam right?" Garrett asked after seeing the look in my eye.

"Uh, no actually Ross texted me," I spoke softly wondering if it was the wrong thing to say, Charlie's ears somehow heard it. He looked at me with an angry curiosity and it just raised questions for me. Garrett seemed just as fine with it regardless. "But we should do something soon," I grinned. I wanted to know Garrett like he knew me, I felt like such a fool to feel something so strongly about a practical stranger.

"Yeah, definitely. Tomorrow night, you're mine," Garrett grinned, before Charlie tapped on my shoulder nodding towards the door. I was curious on why we had to go now, but I hugged everyone goodbye and kissed Garrett on the cheek before I ran after Charlie who impatiently left.

"Dude, what's up?" I called out after him, climbing into the passenger seat before he drove off without me. I plopped down into the plush passenger seat and strapped the beige seatbelt across my chest. I gave him a glare, wondering what I did to earn this kind of treatment, "What is your problem?" I said harshly.

"You," was all that came out in a quiet, but merciless none the less. I could see how angry he was just by his tight grip on steering wheel and the vein pulsing visibly in his neck. I could honestly say that I was afraid of Charlie right now.

"Why?" I spoke softly, but before he answered me we pulled into our driveway and put the car in drive and rested his head back on the seat taking a deep breath. "Charlie, I'm sorry for whatever I did," I apologized meekly, truly sorry if I did something unintentionally.

"Core, don't- you just don't understand," He spoke in a low voice, for whatever reason his voice always lowered in tone when he was sad or serious. In this case, it might have been both. He ripped the keys from the ignition and closed his eyes making it impossible to read them.

"I'm sorry," I said again before I got out of the car. Right in that time I got a text from Ross saying he was here. I looked up and indeed there was a silver sedan on the curb, I smiled and walked over to it seeing him in the front seat. I figured my brother could wait seeing as we lived together and he could never stay mad at me in the past.

"Hey," He smiled, I gave him a small 'hi' before closing the door. I noticed he was looking up my driveway and I followed his eyes to see Charlie glaring daggers towards me, I wish he could just tell me what I did wrong. "Your brother doesn't like me at all," Ross chuckled only raising more questions for me.

"Why?" I asked raising an eyebrow. Charlie may be a stupid meathead, but he was a good person and rarely hated people without good reason. He was a good person like that. Ross turned and drove as if it was the most natural movements he could do in his sleep.

"Well you and Garrett broke up for a little bit our junior year and we started dating. Seeing as your brother and Garrett were really good friends he obviously hated me," Ross explained, as the car came into the driveway and stopped. I looked up and saw John's house. I was so confused, but I climbed out of his car and followed him into the house.

"Why did we break up? I mean if you know," I asked once we were inside the house and he kept trekking up the stairs and went into his room. I smiled, taking a seat on his desk chair, crossing my legs.

"Because of this," Ross smiled walking over to me before he kissed me. This shocked me and I rolled backwards out of his lips reach. My eyes showed my mixture of emotions of confused and shocked.

"What- are you doing?" I asked when my breath returned to me and I could actually form thoughts again. Ross chuckled and muttered something under his breath before sitting on the bed. "Why are you laughing? I am so confused!" I exhaled all at once searching my mind for a piece of a memory to explain this.

"Shit," He whispered before, rubbing his chin with his hand and smiling at me. "I forgot you don't remember anything, serves me right for trying to just act like nothing happens," He smiled ambiguously his eyes never leaving mine. I liked the way he looked at me, like how an eighty-year-old man would look at his wife. "We were hooking up while you and Garrett were still dating and Charlie walked in on us one day and gave you an ultimatum to either break up with me or him- just for morality sake," Ross paused looking down at his feet before looking back at me.

"You broke up with him for a while and we tried doing out thing, but this was our thing. Even though we loved each other, you knew you'd never love me as much as you loved him, but this-" He pointed back and forth from me to him. "It worked for us," He shrugged and I saw the pain in his eyes.

"Who knows about this?" I spoke after a long silence, my eyes kept darting back and forth-trying to make sense of what he just told me. I can't believe who, or what was going on and I forgot to breathe, sucking in air when my lungs were desperate enough.

"Just Charlie, maybe Shane he said he heard us one time, but your boyfriend- he doesn't know," Ross answered, showing his disdain for the title Garrett had. His hand came to my cheek and brought me an odd amount of comfort. I opened my mouth to speak, but I closed it loosing my words. He kissed me lightly and it sent shivers down my arms, but guilt swelled up in my gut. "I bet you want to go home," Ross proposed and all I could do was nod.

We drove home in silence, his hand came to the console to hold mine, but I withdrew it instinctually. We pulled up in front of my house and I felt a knot in my chest as tears came to my eyes. Ross apologized and kissed my cheek before I got out. I took long strides up to my house and once I closed the door I collapsed letting the tears come, nothing could aid the guilt aching my heart. I was cheating on my boyfriend and felt a hatred burning for myself.