Sing Me To Sleep

“Jack says to be at his for five,” Alex told Katy, throwing his phone down on the end of his bed. He turned to her. She was sitting on top of Alex’s pillows, knees drawn up and fingers playing with the edge of the quilt. She nodded absently, twirling a loose thread in her fingers. Alex pulled his legs up onto the bed and crossed them.

“Hey,” he murmured. “You okay?”

Katy nodded, smiling, but still didn’t meet Alex’s eyes.

“Just thinking,” she volunteered.

“About?” Alex asked in a sing-song voice. She smirked and finally met his gaze.

“Stuff,” she told him vaguely. He frowned and cast her eyes down again. “’Lex?” she started, recommencing the twirling of the loose thread.

“Yeah?” Alex asked, hesitant and intrigued all at the same time. She opened her mouth before closing it again. Her eyebrows furrowed as she glared at the comforter. Alex waited patiently until Katy sighed, her expression turning into one of giving up.

“Never mind,” she murmured, quickly following with, “Can I just stay at yours today? I don’t want to be at home alone…”

Alex’s brows furrowed lightly at Katy’s sudden change of subject, but went with it for now. He smiled and smoothed her bangs out of her face.

“Sure,” he told her. “We can play GTA and make helpless people bleed. It’ll be great. Plus I’ll stuff you full of pizza.”

Katy grimaced playfully before replying.

“I think Jack’ll stuff us with enough pizza tonight. Can we at least [i[attempt at something healthy for lunch?”

Alex laughed and stood up. He agreed, and reached out for Katy’s hand before pulling her downstairs into the living room.

“You set up the console,” Alex instructed, “and I’ll ‘attempt’ to make something healthy. Alright?”

“Alright,” Katy agreed, nodding to emphasise, her eyes looking over at the black, shiny console. She looked sad. Was the whole ‘being in love with a boy that didn’t love her back’ thing really depressing her that much? Alex was in the same position, really, but he wasn’t on a complete downer all the time because of it. Of course, Alex knew that Katy was a little more sensitive than him, and maybe the whole thing with her dad didn’t help matters…

He reached forward and pulled her into an unexpected hug. She squeaked, her eyes widening. He buried his face into her neck, scrunching his eyes closed as he held his arms tightly around her shoulder blades.

“I fuckin’ love you so much,” he mumbled, stroking her hair lightly. “I hate seeing you sad.” He pulled back and held her shoulders, looking her in the eyes. “Are you sure there’s no way I can help you?”

Katy stared at the dark haired boy in front of her, witnessing the sincerity in his expression, the care in his eyes. Her mind went hazy. Thinking went right out the window; she did what she wanted, what she’d wanted to do for so long. She stepped forward without hesitation and pressed her lips to Alex’s soft ones gently, feeling him gasp against her before moving his lips against hers. He threaded his fingers through her soft hair, pulling her closer and to a better angle.

He was kissing Katy. No tongue, but their mouths were open. He was fucking kissing Katy.

When he realised what he was actually doing, he faltered for a second. That was all it took for Katy to pull back, spluttering apologies and that she should go, blushing bright red and stammering. She ran her fingers through her hair, jabbering at a million miles a minute.

“Fuck. Sorry, Alex. Shit. I… I have to go. I’ll see you at Jack’s. ‘Bye.”

She ran out the door before Alex had a chance to process what had just happened. His “Katy, wait!” echoed around the empty house. Katy was gone, at the end of the street, tears streaming down her cheeks, by the time he called out. He sank to the couch with his head in his hands. What had just happened? Katy had kissed him. He had kissed back. She’d regretted it and ran away.

Alex did something he didn’t do very often. He cried.

Sobs racked his body, his head placed firmly in his hands as he sat on the very edge of the couch, the empty house a reminder of the fact Katy didn’t want him. Sure, Alex was optimistic about it most of the time, but this… this was something else. Something he wanted so close, and yet so far. To have it snatched away just when he was getting his hopes up. It was cruel, almost, and he knew he shouldn’t be angry at Katy for it but he was. She shouldn’t have kissed him. Why did she kiss him? She was in love with someone else. Alex had no hope in hell. Did she know about his feelings? Was she doing it simply to be a bitch?

No. Alex knew Katy, and he knew she wouldn’t. He felt guilty for even considering it.

A distraction, then; something to take her mind off the other boy. Alex should have suspected, really. He’d unknowingly offered.

He sniffled, grabbing a pillow and wiping his nose on it. His mom wouldn’t notice. He stared blankly at the pale wall behind his TV. What about later? Would it be awkward? Should he apologise? Would she apologise? Would she tell Jack, Cassadee?

The thoughts ran through his head, planting a migraine in his mind and making him wince. He felt so worn out, and it was barely eleven thirty in the morning. He sighed, slumping back on himself. He didn’t have to be at Jack’s until five. He could sleep a while, he guessed. He’d make up for it later, by being awake when everyone else was asleep, but that was irrelevant to him right now. He’d rather take thinking about this later, hurting later, than have it now; now, in the bitter wake of the accident. He lay down on his couch, curling into a foetal position with more tears leaking from his eyes. Alex had reached his breaking point.

Katy was way past breaking point as she knocked on Jack’s door. She was sobbing, and the few people out and about in her neighbourhood had given her strange, slightly concerned, mostly nosy looks. She’d ignored them. She needed Cassadee. Jack, too.

Jack answered the door, his initial confused face turning into one of shock and utter concern.

“Katy?!” The girl fell forwards into his arms, grabbing onto his shirt and sobbing. She knew she’d be embarrassed later, but there was too much emotion surging through her right now for her to care. It was like an electrical current, frying her inside and out, burning her mind. “What happened?”

“I’m so fucking stupid,” she whined, rubbing her eyes.

“Cass!” Jack bellowed. Katy winced.

Upstairs in Jack’s room, Cassadee heard her name being yelled. Jack sounded distressed, and immediately Cassadee perked up. She rushed out of the room and thumped down the stairs, a feat she would be scolded for if Jack’s mom were here.

“Wha…?” Cassadee cut herself off as she saw the sobbing girl in Jack’s arms. He looked at Cassadee, pleading, asking her what to do with his eyes. Cassadee didn’t need to think twice before Katy was out of Jack’s skinny arms and in her own, brushing the chocolate brown hair with her tan hands as she brought Katy down to the floor, where she set the girl in her lap.

“Calm down,” Cassadee whispered in her best friend’s ear, rocking her back and forward. Cassadee’s eyes met Jack’s. His eyes were asking her what the hell he should do. She gestured towards the stairs, before pressing a small kiss to the top of Katy’s head. As Katy’s sobs got quieter and quieter, Cassadee wondered how on Earth she was going to fix her broken best friend. Was it even possible?