I'll Always Be Here For You

"Ryan, how the hell am I going to tell my parents?" I asked as we sit on a park bench.

I recently confided in Ryan about me figuring out I'm gay and now I'm scared to tell my parents. After Michelle, I didn't want to risk the pain of another relationship. This year I realized that I'm not even interested in girls anymore. I kept having these dreams about naked guys and actually got turned on which freaked me out. I tried watching porn, (hey, I'm a teenage guy, what else am I going to do?) and realized that I was repulsed by the girls but found myself attracted to guys. I kept trying to ignore the thoughts of naked guys but eventually admitted to myself that I was, in fact, gay. Ryan told me he was bisexual a year ago and I figured he would understand, and he did.

"What if they hate me? What if they kick me out? What if they don't want anything to do with me?" I rambled on until Ryan interrupted me by saying,

"Bren, I know exactly how you feel. I had the same problem when I thought about coming out to my parents. Hell, I still haven't told them but you have nothing to worry about. You need to tell them, your parents deserve to know."

"If 'parents deserve to know' why haven't you told yours?" I snap. Ryan looks down at the ground, I can tell I upset him.

"You know why Brendon." I gulp, remembering what Ryan told me about his parents. His mom probably would understand but his dad certainly would not. His father is an abusive alcoholic and sometimes beats him for no reason at all. I've seen Ryan with black eyes and busted lips, given to him by his father for no apparent reason. I don't even want to imagine what his dad would do to him if he had a reason.

"I'm sorry Ryan." I whisper and he swallows deeply

"It's fine Brendon. I regret hiding who I am from my family. You should just tell your parents, they would understand."

"Did you forget that my family is Mormon? Being gay is just as bad as murdering someone to them." Ryan rolls his eyes.

"Brendon, your parents love you, they won't hate you or kick you out or anything." I bite my bottom lip. still uncertain."Besides, even if they did, you could always move in with me." I smile at him and he smiles back. Ryan has an amazing smile, his teeth are perfectly straight and his lips are soft and thin. I look into his hazel eyes. Damn, I never noticed how beautiful Ryan really is. Ryan noticed me staring and looks at me questionably. I slowly lean in and softly press my lips to his. He immediately kisses back, our lips move in sync with the other. We both pull away. I expect him to punch me or at least tell me he doesn't like me that way. Surprisingly, he is smiling at me. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"Really?" I ask, taken back and he nods. I grin at him but then frown, remembering my dilemma. "What am I gonna do Ryan?" He puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently.

"I don't know." Ryan answers truthfully. "But whatever you decide, you know I'll be right there with you." He puts his arm around my shoulder and I lean against him.

"I'm going to tell them." I say after a few minutes of thinking."Thanks Ryan." I add. He kisses the top of my head.

"Anytime Brendon. You know I'll always be here for you."