Ignorance

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me. Well I guess I'll make my own way. It's a circle, a mean cycle. I can't excite you anymore...

"Earphones out," a teacher yells. I roll my eyes and pull my earbuds out. It's not even homeroom yet. I turn my iPod off and look around. The first person that catches my eye is him.

David Lockwell.

We used to be best friends, but then... I don't even know what happened. We slowly grew apart from each other. He went off and flirted with every girl he could while I sat in class doing my work. I loved him like a brother, and once he told me he looked at me as his sister.

But all that's over. Now, we walk past each other in the halls without uttering a single word to each other. We have one class together (Science) and even then I don't acknowledge him. He doesn't notice me, either. This is how things have gone for months. It doesn't bother him even if it kills me.

I walk into homeroom, which was unfortunately Science, but David wasn't there yet. Figures. He's probably with some whore under the G staircase. Class is gonna start in two minutes. I'd love to truthfully say I wanted him to get in trouble, but I didn't. Why would I want that?

The bell rings and he runs in and dashes to his seat. The dumbass teacher doesn't even notice so he closes the door and starts talking about the solar system. Did I mention David sits behind me? And I always choose to sit sideways because the row I sit is literally against the wall? Oh, and the desks in the rows are right against each other? So David is only a foot or so away from me. I hate it. But I love it. I don't know if he even knows me anymore. His loss. Not mine.

I get up and sharpen my pencil, and when I sit back down I notice a folded piece of paper on it. I open it and see David's handwriting. I can't look at him, 'cause that's awkward. Looking at someone that gave you a note before actually reading it, always weird. I slowly open it so it's not obvious that I'm reading it. Even if he can see me.

Can you stay after school? I think for a second before writing something else down.

Depends. I pass it behind my back so the teacher doesn't see. He takes it quickly and I hear him open it. It's always good to keep responses short when in one of these types of situations. He hands it back.

Depends on what?? I stifle a chuckle and write something down.

The reason. I hand it back and he pushes it toward me a minute later.

Iwanna need to talk to you. He changed "wanna" to "need". Must be important.

For how long? I give it back and he opens it, jotting something down fast before holding it out.

Like...I don't care, however long you want. I bite my lip and write something down.

I don't care, either. I see him hesitate out of the corner of my eye, but he writes after thinking for several seconds, handing it back when the teacher wasn't looking.

Then we'll decide later. Where do you wanna meet? Gotta keep this as short as possible.

Doesn't matter. I give it back and he gets a slightly annoyed expression on his face. He writes something down and gives it back.

How about the courtyard and then we'll figure it out from there?

K. I don't look at him for the rest of the period and try my hardest to pay attention to the scribble on the board. I was nervous for the end of the day to come; what if it's just a joke? What if it's something serious? Before I know it, the bell rings and everyone gets up. He glances at me, but I don't even look in his direction. The rest of the day is a blur, I'm that nervous for the final bell to ring. When it does, I take my time getting to my locker. I didn't want to seem anxious. I walk as slow as possible and stop in front of the door that goes out to the courtyard. I see David. And he's sitting on a bench. Alone. And he keeps looking at his cell phone. As if I would text him. I walk out and he stands when he sees me.

"Hey," he says. He sounds relieved. Maybe he thought I wouldn't show up.

"Hi," I say quietly. He looks around.

"Where do you wanna go?" I shrug.

"I don't care."

"Let's just walk." I nod so we start walking. He doesn't say anything until we get pass the buses in the lot. "You're awfully quiet."

"I know," I murmur.

"You used to be bubbly and talkative." I shrug again.

"I changed." He looks at me with a confused expression.

"What happened to us?" I look at him.

"What?" He takes a few seconds to think of what he wants to say.

"We're the friends who stuck together," he says. "We wrote our names in blood."

"I thought this change was good-"

"It wasn't," he says. "Any longer and I wouldn't have made it."

"What? Us not talking?" He nods. "I thought this was the best thing that could've happened."

"How?" I sigh.

"You wanted to be popular, have more friends, get a girlfriend..." I look down slightly. "I thought this was what you wanted."

"It was the exact opposite, Casey." He thinks about what to say next. "Us being friends was great and all."

"But?" I look up at him and he has an appreciative smile on his face.

"I wanted more than that." My heart skips a beat. He did not just say that.

"You're using past tense," I say quietly. His smile grows a bit wider.

"I still want that even if we're not exactly friends right now." We stop walking when we notice we're in an alley between two stores. He looks around before saying, "With how you acted on the note, you sound like you really don't want anything to do with me." Ha! It worked!

"I just acted like that so you would think that."

"Why would you do that?" His change of tone makes me look up at him. His voice got a lot softer and sweeter.

"I don't know, I-" He leans over and kisses me, so I instantly return it. He pulls back only two seconds later. I look down for a second before he chuckles. I look up. "What?"

"You have no idea how long I've waited to do that," he says. I smile as he takes my hand and leads me out of the alley and onto the sidewalk.

"I'm sure I've waited longer," I say.