What the Frank

{Third person’s P.O.V…}

Gerard stood there, in front of Frank, who was sitting on the couch, with beads of perspiration forming on the back of his neck, out of fear of what Frank might do or say.

“I-I” He stuttered out, unable to form a complete sentence. Gerard ran a shaking hand though his long, greasy, black hair. It was a nervous habit of his.

“I’m sorry.” Frank said as he cast his eyes on the floor, too embarrassed to look at him. He was embarrassed because of what he did, what he felt when they were still together. It was very foolish of him to think that Gerard would ever cheat on him with the likes of Lindsey, but Frank let his psychotic and hate infested beliefs about Lindsey take over his mind; he was convinced that Lindsey was plotting to steal Gerard away from him, just like she tried to do in high school.

Gerard looked up at Frank, confused, but knowing at the same time.

“For?” Gerard chocked out. Beads of perspiration were starting to form on his forehead as it became difficult for him to breathe. The walls were starting to cave in on him and his heart was pounding furiously to the point that it felt like it was going to jump out of his chest—Gerard was on the verge of having a panic attack.

“F-for…” Frank, too, was unable to form a complete sentence. Just like Gerard, he was nervous of the outcome of this situation. They stood there in silence for a while, causing the conversation to become painfully awkward. Neither of them knew what to say, and if they had it their way, they would go back in time to before any of this ever happened.

Gerard clinched his fists, his now sweaty palms meeting his fingertips. His fists weren’t clinched out of anger, but out of fear. His breathing started to speed up, and his heart started to beat even faster as he anticipated Frank’s next words.

“For accusing you of cheating, for acting like a complete fucking jackass, for walking out on you without even giving you a chance to explain. Gerard, all of this bullshit is my fault!

If it wasn’t for me, none of this would’ve ever happened!” Frank hollered, pouring out his emotions. All of this sudden excitement stirred Gabe from his nap, which caused him to let out a loud and powerful cry. Not in the mood to tend to a crying baby, Frank and Gerard glared at the wailing child, in hopes that their glares would shut him up. Gabe continued to cry, his face becoming red and tears plummeting from his eyes, down to his cheeks, down to their final resting place, his power blue jumpsuit. Irritated and on the verge of tears, Frank grabbed Gabe from his carrier and patted him on the back, somehow managing to lull him back to sleep.

“None of this is your fault.” Gerard’s voice softening as he stepped closer to Frank. He knelt down in front of him, drawing Frank’s eyes with him, as he placed a hand on Frank’s knee.

“Everything is my fault.” He said, trying to prevent Frank from crying, but he was too late. Tears had already started to pour down Frank’s flushed cheeks.

“I almost cheated on you with Stanley.” He said in-between sobs. Gerard’s eyes widened as the words registered in his brain. As realization sunk in, Gerard tried to say something—anything. He couldn’t get a grip on his words.

“I almost kissed Stanley while we were still together. If my mother hadn’t have come in, I don’t know what would’ve happened.” Frank managed blubber out. Frank was crying much that his tears were starting to act like a thick, moist blanket over his cheeks.

“I probably would’ve had sex with him, but I don’t think I could’ve forced myself to do that. Gerard, I love you with all my fucking heart and I would never cheat on you, but there was just something about him…I was drawn to him.” This was a mouthful for Frank; he never thought that he’d tell anyone about his feelings for Stanley. That was a secret that would go with Frank to the grave.

“Did…did you ever think about it?” Gerard was curious to know, but disgusted at what he might hear. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing: Frank, the love of his life, almost cheated on him with his own step-brother. This was like something out of a cheesy, low-budget Lifetime movie.

“Yes.” Frank nodded as he spoke, still unable to look at Gerard. He felt disgusted, like a cheap whore. He didn’t know why, though. After all, he didn’t actually do anything with Stanley. Frank looked at Gerard, one side of him expecting to be comforted and told that everything was okay and the other half expecting for Gerard to smack him again.

Gerard couldn’t even begin to fathom what Frank had just said. Gerard sluggishly got up from the floor and walked to the other side of the room, locking his line of vision on his tattered shoes. He was still trying to process what he just heard. For what seemed like a lifetime, the two basked in the awkward silence of the room.

There was nothing left to talk about. Neither of them had anything else to say.

“I’ll hitch you a cab.” Frank whipped the tears off of his face as he nodded in appreciation. Gerard held the door open as Frank placed their sleeping son back into his carrier. They walked down the three flights of stairs, engulfed in silence. Once they were outside, Gerard hailed a cab, as promised, and gave Frank the cab fare. Gerard walked back into the apartment building, not even bothering to turn around and say ‘goodbye’. It was clear to them both that there was no hope in rekindling their relationship.