It's Just Our Fate

Jackson sat outside on the patio in the backyard of the safe house. The area was vacant; trees nestled around them, and open with the soft sounds of birds chirping. He needed fresh air to help clear his mind as he flipped his phone up and down. He knew that Rudy was already in the process of assigning a partner for him to take out Baxter. Jackson stopped flipping the phone around and started to dial Rudy’s number when his phone interrupted the process, flashing – “R. Calling…”

Jackson clicked “Accept”, holding the phone up to his ear, “Reed.” He could hear the familiar coughing of Rudy, trying to collect himself through the years of cigar smoke he had injected into his lungs, “Kid, we need to talk.” Jackson leaned forward, his elbows resting on the tops of thighs as he sat in the chair, “What’s the news?” Rudy didn’t answer for a moment. Jackson’s brow furrowed as he questioned the hesitation that was extremely out of the ordinary for someone like Rudy. “He’s put a hit on you, kid. It’s spreading like wild fire. He’s got $75 mil for your head and the safe return of his daughter.” Rudy’s words were rushed and tired. Jackson let out a rough sigh, “Fuck.”

“He’s not going to back down, Jax. He needs to be silenced. I’ll create a bigger team to assist you but I need you back here so we can shut it down, you hear me?” Rudy ordered. It was rare to hear him take charge from his usual playful and laid back demeanor - but he meant business. Jackson shook his head to himself, “There was a hit at my place last night. Guy threatened to kill Lil. I had to take the shot. We’re at the safe house. I can’t turn back now.” Jackson sighed listening to the long list of expletives coming from Rudy. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?! Jax, How – What are you – Why take her there – God Damnit!” Rudy screamed into the receiver.

“I have to protect her, Rudy. I can’t come back into the city – you and I both know that’s too risky. You can set up your own team for Baxter, but I can’t be involved.” Jackson said simply. They both knew that he was right. For the off chance that they even went through with the plan, it was rare that they wouldn’t be found out. He would be killed and then Lily would be hidden away. Rudy let out a jagged sigh, “You’re right. You’re right….Fuck, Jax.” This was becoming far too complicated, but the only thing that remained clear was that he needed to keep Lily safe. “Do what you need to for the girl,” Rudy said annoyed, “But you have to keep moving, that safe house won’t be much of anything in a few days.” Jackson shut his eyes, “Yeah. I hear you.” He leaned back into the chair staring out at the open field, wishing that things were different. “Keep yourself alive. Keep moving. I’ll give you a call later.” Rudy said, hanging up.

Jackson slowly pulled the phone from his face, taking a minute to gather his composure before standing up, sliding the phone into his back pocket. He slid open the sliding glass doors, walking in swiftly as he shut them again. “I made breakfast.” A small voice called out to him. Lily came out of the kitchen, her hands holding out a plate for him, “It’s just eggs and fruit – all I could find, really.” Jackson smiled faintly, walking over to her as he took the plate, “Thank you.” Lily looked up at him quickly before nodding and moving back into the kitchen to fix her own plate. Jackson kept his eyes on her for a moment longer before he walked to the table, sitting down with his plate as he began to eat. She joined him not too long after he began eating, slowly picking at the fruit she prepared for herself on her plate.

They exchanged glances at one another, unable to find the words necessary to start up any meaningful conversation. “How long are we staying here?” Lily asked in a hushed voice, barely audible. Jackson set his fork down as he swallowed some food, “Not long. We’ll have to keep moving.” He watched Lily nod her head, her eyes still fixated on her plate. “Your father has put a hit on me, a reward, for getting you back.” Jackson said. Lily’s head jerked up, eyes wide, “What? Are you serious?” Jackson’s eyes were soft, nodding his head lightly, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your safe and then we’ll just have to go from there.” Lily’s brow furrowed, getting angry, “Jackson, are you insane? We have to figure out how to get him to take it back! He’s not going to hurt me, but he won’t hesitate with you. We need to come up with a plan!”

Jackson rubbed his face, sighing hard, “Lily, there isn’t much else to do. I’ll keep moving you to stay safe and have everything else handled.” Lily shook her head, looking back to her plate, knowing that there really wasn’t much else to do. Everything in this world was still very new to her and she couldn’t begin to figure out ways to overcome the tasks at hand. “I could talk to my father, I could. Maybe he’d back off or just listen to me. Maybe I could – “ Jackson held up his hand stopping her, his eyes sincere as they met, “Lily…” He shook his head. Lily bit her bottom lip out of frustration, her eyes beginning to line with a new wave of tears. She looked back down at her plate as if all the answers to the problems before her would simply pop up. Jackson sighed lightly, his hand instinctively attempting to reach across to her, “Lily…We’ll figure something out, but right now I’ve gotta get you to a safe area. Do you understand?”

Jackson’s hand rested on the cold table, still overturned to wait for her hand. Lily rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand as she looked up over to his waiting outstretched hand. Her eyes moved to Jackson’s face, studying it. She picked up her hands, slowly placing them on the edge of the table before returning them back into her lap. Jackson slowly pulled his hand back, sighing hard.
The trust that they once had was gone.

“I know it’s hard for you to…feel anything for me right now,” Jackson said calmly, “But I want you to know that I lov-”. Lily’s hand shot up, palm out to signal for him to stop. His shoulders fell forward, defeated by the gesture. “Please don’t say you love me, Jackson. Just don’t.” Lily said, shaking her head slowly. Jackson’s brow furrowed, confused, “Why? You know I do. Lily, I’m still the same guy. It’s still me.” Lily straightened herself in her seat, her emerald eyes piercing him, “My boyfriend works for a Tech company. He goes on long business trips, calls me every night, and always makes sure to send me a text right before bed and just as I wake up. My boyfriend is funny. He is kind, but you..” Lily’s eyes began to swell with tears once more, “You are a murderer. You have secrets that go on for miles and miles. You lie to people’s faces. You lied to me for so long. Now you’re up against my Father, who apparently is also a damn liar. Yet you want to sit here and tell me you ‘love’ me?”

Lily pushed away her plate, standing up quickly, “You don’t know what that is, Jackson.” Jackson clenched his jaw watching as she stomped up the stairs away from him to the bedroom. He took in a deep breath, leaning over the table as he rubbed his face roughly. He could never protect her properly if she continued to resist him so much. Hell, he could never be with her at all anymore if she couldn’t see a reason to trust him. Jackson stood up quickly from the table and walked up the stairs two at a time. His pace was quick as he pushed through the bedroom door. Lily whipped around to stare at him angrily, “Get out, Jackson. God damnit, just get out!” Jackson shook his head, “No.”

He moved over to the bed, sitting down on one side of it, patting the side next to him for her, “Just listen to me. Please?” Lily’s hands balled into tiny fists, her limit already been exceeded. Jackson watched her, eyes soft, begging her to hear him out. Lily moved to the bed, sitting opposite from him, and sighed heavily, “What? Any more lies you need to be absolved from?” Jackson nodded his head slowly, his face a mixture of sadness and a sense of unease. He leaned his head back against the headboard, looking her in the eye, “My parents died when I was about 6. You’d of liked my Ma. She was real beautiful – and smart. My Dad and her did all they could to make ends meet. We weren’t ‘poor’, I mean we weren’t living large – but my Dad always said we weren’t poor, just careful. I lived with my Uncle after that but he kicked me out at 16 – bit of a troublemaker, I guess.” He smirked lightly, thinking back to it, “Rudy is my…dealer, I guess. He makes the appointments for me and all that jazz. He’s the closest thing to family I had – before you.”

He adjusted himself, pushing his back against the headboard to sit up straight, clearing his throat, “I…kill for a living. Mobsters, deadbeats, bad cops – whatever the assignment is. You’re right. I’m a killer.” Jackson shrugged his shoulders slowly, rubbing the back of his neck, “It’s what I do. I didn’t have a problem doing any of it. It’s just second nature at this point, but then…then I met you.”

Jackson smiled softly as he eyed her, “I went to this school to grab this kid who was barking all over town about his Mob boss. I go in to watch the room and then you pop up. You spoke to me for like a minute and I was hooked. You have this…purity. This…kindness and love that just radiates off of you. It completely took me off guard. I loved that about you. Then, you know, we started up and I realized I just can’t do this shit anymore. I can’t just step out of it, I know there is a process, but it was the first time that I realized I had something important to live for – I had you.”

Jackson swallowed hard, trying to keep his voice clear and steady, “I want a family with you – give me a little girl with your eyes and I’ll be happy forever.” Lily smiled, coughing lightly to catch her breath as tears fell down her cheeks. “I want us. I want this. I know I’m not the perfect thing out there for you, but damnit, I’d go to hell and back to give you everything you’d want. I love you, Lily. I love you more than anything. I’m a piece of shit – I know that. You have every right to hate me right now, but I’m asking that you just realize that my love for you is, and always will be, the most honest part about me. I won’t ever fake that. I’m going to protect you. We’ll get out of this and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m not that killer. That I’m not just some hateful, evil thing out there. I swear I’ll prove it to you.”

Lily wiped her face, shaking her head lightly, “They’re just pretty words, Jackson. You’re in so deep with all of this…I just don’t think I can do it.” Jackson’s face contorted, his body scooting closer to her until his hands were on top of hers, “Give me the time to fix this and I will. We’ll move to Italy, France, Greece – I don’t care. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll make things right.” Lily shook her head again slowly, staring at him intently, “Jackson…I just…” She looked down to their hands, head shaking still, “I love you and I hate that I do. There is so much bad shit going on. I want to trust you but there is so much…” Jackson cupped her face, forcing her to look at him, “I know everything is bad right now, but I’ll make it better – I will. It’s still me, baby.” He smiled softly at her, thumbs tracing her cheeks, “It’s still me.”

Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in tightly, hoping that things would, in fact, get better. Jackson rubbed his hands up her back, eyes closed, as he took in her scent. This was step in the right direction, but they would have much more to overcome. They pulled apart and watched the others expressions. Lily frowned lightly, “We’ll have to work at this…” her fingers motioning between the two of them, “a lot. I’m still not used to any of this…but I’m willing to give it a shot.” Jackson smiled at her softly, nodding his head in agreement.

Jackson’s hands moved to cup her face, his thumbs grazing her cheeks softly, as he leaned in close to kiss her lips gently. Lily exhaled slowly as she kissed him back. Jackson pulled away his eyes on her face again, “Everything will be alr-”. A sudden banging on the front door halted Jackson from saying anything further. Lily’s eyes widened as her hand went up to cover her mouth, shocked. Jackson’s heart began to race as he heard the banging turn into a loud thud, as if someone were trying to kick down the door.

“Reed! You motherfucker! Open this door!”

Lily’s head jerked towards the sound, “Dad?”