A Second Chance

It was an absolutely beautiful night. Even after we left the falls fireflies could still be seen aimlessly floating about. The walk back to my house was peaceful and quite. Luke and I didn’t say one word to each other, and in some way, I think it was a bit better that way than just idle chat. It seemed like we were comfortable enough with each other to withstand the silence.

As we neared my house, I couldn’t keep my mind from thinking back to my family. I had been an only child, and destined for greatness. That greatness I couldn’t achieve because of certain circumstances. Those circumstances being one thing: Evan. Evan was an old boyfriend; we had dated for at least three years. He was practically my everything, that someone that I could go to for anything and I could count on him to be there for me. I loved him, I truly did. We had made plans to marry one day, and we would live out a real life happily ever after.

Evan was your average run-of-the-mill guy, aside from the fact that he was rich. I don’t mean he had just a lot of money, he was loaded. Though I was accused of dating him for his money quite often, it was never true, no matter how many times people said I was lying. When we first started dating I didn’t even know about his wealth. I loved him for him, and that was all there was to it. But, the day that Evan met my parents, things changed. I mean changed. My life was altered forever.

Throughout all my hardcore thinking, I never for a second forgot that Luke was standing straight beside me, only a few steps away from my mind, where all my terrible secrets are exposed.

I tried to make the thought vanish several times, but it simply kept lagging in the back of my mind like a lost little ghost. There was no denying it; Luke reminded me of Evan. That is, without all the money, and big houses and cars. Luke seemed to be that type of guy that I could go to about anything and he would back me up. It felt like he was that sort of person who you could count on to be there for you. He reminded me of Evan so much, it scared me a bit. But in all reality, Luke was nothing like Evan; or at least I prayed to God he wasn’t.

My house was now in eyesight, though for some reason I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t know where I wanted to go, but I just knew that I didn’t want to go to that tiny little house and be all alone. I wanted to be with someone, and if I could choose who, it would definitely be Luke.

Luke’s deep, emotional side had once again dispersed and slipped away into the night without a sound, leaving me with the goofy, silly Luke that I liked best.

My front step was now only inches away from my feet when we both stopped walking and just looked at each other. He smiled at me blushing, and I stood happily in front of him; sure it was a tinsy bit awkward, but sometimes life is awkward.

“Well, uh, I guess I should let you go now.” He said scratching the back of his neck, looking away embarrassed. I smiled quietly at him; he was just too cute when he was embarrassed.

“Uhm, yeah I guess so.” Suddenly I felt butterflies storm around my stomach, which was odd for me because I normally don’t get nervous. But this time, right now, I was growing very nervous, and I wasn’t sure why. But these butterflies are not the nervous you get that just give you the funny feeling deep in your stomach, no. These kinds of butterflies make you so nervous that it actually hurts.

I looked back at Luke to notice that his hand was cradled over his own stomach and gently rubbing it. For some strange reason, it calmed me a little to see that he too was nervous. Well, either that or he had a bad stomachache. I was betting on the nervousness though.

“Are you ok?” I asked, he looked at me confused.

“Huh?”

“You’re rubbing your stomach.” He looked down and immediately pulled his hand away, like he didn’t even know he was doing it. I giggled at him slightly.

“Uh, yeah I’m fine, thanks.” He looked around anxiously, like he was scanning the surrounding area or something before he looked back to me. “Well, I better be going.” It was at this very moment that my butterflies storming around in my stomach went haywire. This was normally the time when the boy leans in and kisses the girl. It’s not that I was nervous about being kissed, I had been kissed before. It was just a kiss from Luke that was making me anxious.

“Yeah me too.” I was expecting for Luke to kiss me, but instead the boy surprised the living crap out of me.

“Well goodnight.” He began walking away. Just like that. No kiss, not even a hug. I stood at my doorstep like an idiot for a few seconds before turning and seeing Luke walk off. Shocked and a bit disappointed, I turned and walked into my house. Just like that I had been let down again, I allowed my hopes to get too high and plummet back down to earth to just be smashed into the ground. When I got inside I didn’t feel like doing anything else, whatsoever. I sat on my bed in the dark for a few minutes; I didn’t want to turn on the lights. I wanted to stay hidden in the dark and pretend like I didn’t exist.

I hated feeling bad for myself, but for some reason this time I couldn’t help it. With all that happened tonight, Luke telling me about his mom and such, I felt like me and him got closer. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe what he meant about me turning into a special person was that I was becoming a good friend, and nothing more. That must be it; I mean I did say that all the guys here are different. I guess I’m just too used to the way guys talk at home.

I tried to push the events of the night out of my head but they just kept storming back inside. I decided that I would just lie down and go to sleep, and try to pretend that this night never happened. I was almost under the covers when I heard a sudden knock at my door. Quite surprised, I walked over and opened it.

When I opened the door, I opened my mouth to say hello, but I suddenly couldn’t speak because my lips had become occupied. Luke kissed me, gently at first but then growing into a deeper, sweeter kiss. His hands had held onto my shoulders, and after a few seconds I put my hands on his forearms. The kiss didn’t last long; it was only a few small moments, but to me it seemed to go on and on. Luke pulled away after a couple of seconds leaving me with a stupid idiot-like smile. His hands dropped back down to his sides and I took my hands away as well. He smiled at me sincerely.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” I said a little breathless. He gave a side grin then again for the second time that night walked away from my doorstep, although this time leaving me much more happy. I stared after him as he walked away with that dumb smile still stuck on my face. Once Luke was out of my sight, I turned back into my house and shut the door.

When I first met Luke, I could tell right away he was different, but I didn’t know how different he was. Now, just now, with the way he kissed me, I couldn’t care less how different the boy might be. He was sweet and kind, funny and just wonderful. He was the perfect big brother type, though I didn’t see him much like a brother, I saw him as a bit more.

With the lights still off as they were before, I walked over to my bed once again and laid down. I buried myself under the covers and stared out my window at the moon that was now high in the sky, casting a perfect light into my house. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes. I kept thinking about the kiss, how unexpected it was, but how romantic it was at the very same time. As I neared sleep, my mind started to aimlessly wander as it does every night before slumber overtakes me. I thought about Luke, and Evan, my family and my secret. My secret…

As comfortable with Luke I felt like I was, it seemed to be too early to tell him, that is if I tell him at all. What happened was bad, and how I dealt with it was even worse. Luke wouldn’t even speak to me again if I told him too early; he would think I’m some sort of freak. But Luke’s my best friend. He should know, he deserves to know, he will know. Just not right now.

“I want to tell him…so bad,” I said to myself as I grew more and more tired. “I want to tell…him...that I… ” Sleep invaded my thoughts, and I surrendered.