A Second Chance

“Mallory you can’t leave.” I heard Chase say beside me, his voice hinted with a bit of panic. I picked myself up off of the ground and wiped away the few tears that were still falling. He stood up and looked over at me, his purple eyes glowing. I didn’t look at him as I spoke.

“I can’t stay here anymore either. Because everything I do, I feel like I’m letting someone down. And I can’t deal with that feeling anymore, Chase. I can’t.” I looked over at him, with watery eyes. “I’ve lived like that my whole life; I just can’t do it anymore!” I screamed. Chase put a hand on my shoulder like he was trying to comfort me. I was looking down at the ground, so I couldn’t see his expression. But from his voice, he sounded extremely sad, and maybe a little frightened, if not for me then for himself. I knew what I looked like when I cried and screamed and broke down like that, and let me tell you; it’s not pretty.

“Mallory, just—” I pushed his hand off my shoulder and looked up at him.

“No, you go back inside and tell them that I quit. I’m going to go home and pack. This is for the better Chase. I know it is.” I said with way more confidence than I felt. Chase sighed and lowered his head some, but still kept me in sight.

“Alright. I’m not going to get you to change your mind; I can see that. At least come and see me before you leave.” He said as he began to turn away.

“I’m not leaving until morning, so I promise I’ll come see you.” The doors opened and he walked inside without a word. Then that sharp pain that I knew so well jabbed me in the side, once again. I had let Chase down.

Tears again began to drain out of my eyes, though this time I couldn’t stop them. I simply stood there outside of the bar crying, I didn’t even have the strength to walk away. A sudden clash struck above my head. I looked up at the sky and began to get shot at with water. The sky roared with thunder and brightened the sky with the lightning that was trying to put on a show. Regaining myself after the clash, I pulled my hood over my head and wrapped my arms around myself. I began walking home, though I decided that I would take the long way home, and walk through the forest.

The air around me had gotten bitterly cold, I should have expected. Autumn was only days away from arriving over this little island. The rain came pummeling down and was stomping on the ground with every drop. It was coming down fast, and the winds had picked up an enormous amount. The pummeling rain and clashing thunder was soon enough creating a nice background melody to my hysterical crying. My head was down, and my eyes were shut. With my hands locked around myself I shivered in the oncoming night. Each step I took I could feel the air growing colder and colder. Though I didn’t care, the coldness was numbing and the numbing felt good.

I had said before that at night this island turns into an enchantment, which it does if it’s not storming. But if it’s storming, the whole land turns into a scene straight out of a bloody gory horror movie. With every flash of lightning that streaked across the sky, in that one shimmer of light I would get the silhouette of each and every tree, and each time a bolt cascaded across the sky, I would feel as if those trees had come to life, and they were walking in and closing in on me. I looked up and could see nothing but the blackness that was in front of me; I couldn’t even see my own hand in front of my face. I stopped walking and stood there in the pouring rain and looked around. As I stood drenched, I realized that I couldn’t see anything but forest, everything was dark and black. It was at that moment I realized that I had no idea where I was.

I started to run, to nowhere in general, just run. I had begun to hyperventilate, and was having a difficult time breathing. Each and every step I took, I couldn’t see anything, just darkness and the shadow of trees. My hood had gotten in my eyes, and now since I officially couldn’t see where I was running, I felt myself trip over something; whether that be a root or rock. I fell to the ground and crashed into the dirt that was slowly morphing into mud. I almost didn’t want to get up; I wanted to stay there, drenched in rain and mud and just let myself be at peace for once. I picked myself up half way; I was leaning over on my hands and I looked up to see if I had any luck of seeing my surroundings. I didn’t. Ultimately giving up on myself, I allowed myself to drop back down into the muddy dirt. I wanted to lay there forever, no one was screaming at me, no one was disappointed or let down. I wanted to stay here; I wanted to die here.

Luke’s P.O.V.

I was lying in bed but still very much awake. I couldn’t sleep. I had tried to forget about what had happened earlier with Mallory, but I couldn’t knock it out of my brain. I figured that if I slept, I would forget about this whole mess, forget about her, forget that she lied, but forget that I loved her? I grimaced in my bed at the thought of forgetting her. Ever since she had moved here I had been happier, I had been laughing more, having more fun. All because of her; she was the reason for my happiness.

I began to think hard as I lay in my bed, listening and watching the storm clash and rave outside my bedroom window. She lied to me, yes it hurt. But she had also said that she only lied because she was so worked up and angry; if I hadn’t gotten her that worked up and upset she never would have lied. So in turn, her lying to me was my own fault. I glanced over at my clock; it was only a little after three in the morning. I wanted to see her, I needed to see her, I had to see her. I don’t care what time it is, I don’t care what the weathers like; I would walk through storms, tornados, hurricanes if it meant that I would be able to see her beautiful shining face. I needed to tell her, she needed to know.

I threw my covers off of me and stepped onto my floor, it creaked and screamed in the floorboards but I was too out of it to even notice. I switched on my light and put jeans and a hoodie on. I wandered out of my room and shut it quietly; I didn’t want to wake my dad. I began to walk down our hallway and just when I got to the top of the stairs, Boss came running up them a mile a minute. He jumped up on me and tried licking my hand. I pushed him away and climbed down the first step; Boss barked at the creak it made. I looked over at him and put my index finger in front of my mouth and told him “shh!” I heard my dad move around in his room, and I thought for sure he would get up and see what was going on.
“Hmm, Luke?” He called through the door, he still sounded tired and half asleep. Quickly, I tried to think of something.

“Uh, I think the storm is scaring Boss. I’m gonna go downstairs and try to comfort him.” I called through the wall to him.

“Don’t stay up late.” was all he responded with. Thankful that he was too tired to care, I ran down the stairs the rest of the way and came to our living room. I ran over to the door and opened it slowly, careful not to make any unnecessary noise. I pulled my hood up and slipped out the door ninja style. I shut it as slowly as I opened it, and once it was good and closed, I ran off toward Mallory’s house.

The rain was coming down seriously hard, and felt like small jellybeans were hitting me instead of raindrops. I ran through the mud and dirt that was forming around the road and splashed through every puddle that stood in my way. The island was really dark, and if I hadn’t lived here my whole life I would say that this was a different island.

When I got in view of Mallory’s house no lights where on and her house looked quiet. I figured that she had actually had luck falling asleep. I didn’t really want to wake her, but I needed to talk to her. I ran up to her house and banged on the door, loud enough so she would hear me if she was sleeping. I called her name multiple times, but no one came to the door, not even a light came on. Either she was ignoring me or she was a really heavy sleeper. Unwilling to give up, I turned her door knob, which surprised me by being unlocked. Hesitantly I walked inside. I looked around, but all I could see was an empty house. I walked in a little further and went to her bed, no one was there. Her bathroom door was open; I poked my head in a looked around, not a soul in sight. She wasn’t here, but then where would she be? I kept staring around her empty house, hoping for a clue or a hint or something as to where she would be, but I found nothing but a room filled with silence.

I thought back to when I had seen her earlier, I had walked away, but Chase had stayed there with her. I sighed to myself, I didn’t want to but I knew that if I wanted to find her I would have to go see Chase, if anyone would know where she was, it was him.

I ran all the way across town to the inn, and barged inside soaking wet. I ran up to whoever was working nightshift, which happened to be Lidia. I ran up to the front desk quickly, out of breath from my run. I could see Lidia looking at me like I was insane.

“Luke…can I help you?”

“What room, is, Chase in?” I said as I tried to catch my breath. Lidia looked through her little book of residents; she ran her finger across a line until she found his name.

“A19. Why?” I didn’t even stay to tell her why. As soon as I heard the number I ran up the stairs and down the hall until I found the room with the matching numbers and letter Lidia had said. When I found it, I banged on the door hard, not caring if I woke him up. I guessed he wasn’t asleep because he opened the door after the second bang.

“Kinda last minute to ask for a slumber party, huh?” He said when he saw me. I didn’t even care about his sarcastic comment; all I was focused on was Mallory.

“Where’s Mallory?” His face went from a smug grin to a glare.

“Man, she needs time away from you. You’re the reason that she’s been so upset lately, just give her some time to herself. Not only that but you’ll end up making her cry even more.” I shook my head furiously.

“You don’t understand, Chase I’m—”

“Luke, just let her go! You’re going to have to anyway, she’s moving back home.” My expression went blank and I lost my voice for a moment. I stared at Chase wide eyed and began shaking my head.

“What?” I said calm all of a sudden. I could feel my heart crushing on top of itself.

“She’s leaving tomorrow morning.” I looked up at him confused.

“Then where is she now?” I said, with my worry coming back to my already shaky voice.

“Did you check her house?” I nodded; I could see that Chase was thinking in his head, what I had already come to the conclusion of in my own. “But she said she was leaving tomorrow…”For a second both me and Chase simply stared at each other, as it was like we both came to the same conclusion at the same time. “We gotta get to the docks!” Chase blurted out what I was already thinking in my own head. I nodded again and began to walk down the halls and down the stairs to the door. Chase grabbed a hoodie and a beanie and followed after me.

The rain was now, if possible coming down harder than before, and the wind had again picked up impeccable speeds. We got to the docks and ran into the dock house, searching around for the captain that handles all the transportation.

“Butch!” The old man turned around and looked at us.

“What can I do for you two boys?” He was speaking like me and Chase were five years old. Chase pushed in front of me to speak to Butch.

“Did you give a boat ride to a girl named Mallory? Brown hair, my height?” Butch looked to be thinking over in his head, but then turned to both of us, a confused and thinking face he wore.

“I recall her from the first day that I brought her here. But other than that I haven’t seen her since then.” Chase and I looked at each other.

“So you didn’t give her a boat ride recently?” I asked.

“Not recently, no.” Chase and I looked at each other again, and without even saying a word both of us ran out of the dock house and back into town.

We were running through town when I heard Chase stumble behind me, I stopped momentarily and looked back at him. He was bent over with his hands on his knees. Suddenly, all the rage and hate I felt for him disappeared. I don’t know why exactly, it just did.

“Dude, you’re tired.” I walked over to him and helped him to straighten up. “You need to go back to the inn.” He looked at me like I was crazy.

“Are you insane? No way, I want to find her.” I sighed, and looked at him.

“Chase, if I find her I’ll tell you I promise. Besides, when I find her there are some personal things that I need to talk to her about anyway.” I looked away some. I could feel Chase staring at me.

“You love her, don’t you?” I looked over at him, and slowly nodded. He sighed to himself, then put a hand on my shoulder. “Good luck dude.” He began walking away, but then looked back. “And you better tell me when you find her.” He waved me off and continued to walk. I turned to face the entrance of town, that same entrance that Mallory and I stood under the first day I met her. Now thinking back to it, that was the best day of my life. I ran out under that entrance going past town, and around the wooded area. I would find her. I had to.

Mallory’s P.O.V.

I had been laying here for at least an hour; it had to be an hour. The mud around me was slowly growing higher and soon it would cover my ears from where I was laying. What was I even doing still laying out here? I knew that I should have gotten up and kept looking around for my house; I had decided to take the long way after all. I sighed, my eyes were closed. Tears were still slowly one by one seeping out of my eyes, but I didn’t do anything to stop them. I didn’t wipe them away or shake them off my face. I let them stay there, let them soak into my skin and once again become part of me. Why was I even still alive? I have no purpose to live. I thought that coming here to this island would give me a second chance at life, but apparently I’m that kind of person who doesn’t deserve second chances. I don’t deserve to be alive, I shouldn’t be alive. I could be dead, and enjoy not having all this pain and heartache that a screw up like me always seems to cause. I don’t deserve to live.

That was the moment.

That was the moment that the same devious little thought crept into my mind on that same day that I had decided that I was going to jump from the bridge. Actually I take it back; I do get second chances, just not at the good things. I’m only worth the bad things, so I get a second chance to kill myself.

I glanced around me and saw a rock, or maybe a piece of a rock. It was sharp and jagged; perfect for piercing skin. For the first time since I fell, I forced myself to sit up; I reached out toward the rock, no bigger than a cell phone. It seemed to fit perfectly in my hand, like it was shaped and made for this exact moment in time. I slowly held out my arm, with my wrist completely exposed and naked, just waiting to be cut. My hands were shaking and trembling, and I couldn’t control my breathing. I then began to think about it; dying I mean. Honestly I picture this the perfect way to go, its dark and at night, no one would find me until morning. I might scream, but I’m sure whoever would be asleep would only let in sink into their imagination and picture it in a nightmare, much like the one I’m living in.

I’ve wasted enough time; I’ve wasted enough of everyone else’s time. I need to do this now, it won’t hurt long, just let the pain melt away as I die. Slowly I bring the rock’s sharp edge closer and closer to my trembling arm. I close my eyes, and tears roll down my face. I’m not far away now, I know it. This is it, my last goodbye. My last I’m sorry.

I’m sorry Mom. I’m sorry Dad. I’m sorry Evan. I’m sorry Chase. I’m sorry Luke.

Luke… I grimace at the thought of him.

I’m ready to do it; I’m going to do it. I bring the rock up higher to gain momentum, and I let my hand come down.

“Mallory!” My eyes fly open and my hand stops not even an inch away from my wrist. My eyes that are swelling with tears look up and see a boy standing above me. In my shaking hands, the rock drops into a puddle of mud. The boy kneels down and throws his arms around me, he’s crying, I can tell. I take a minute to myself; I’m in a state of shock. “Mallory, oh my God Mallory.” He says into my shoulder. Finally my senses kick in, and I come back to. I bring my arms around him and hug him tightly. He pulls away from me to look at me, the rain still coming down hard, but it lightened up a bit. His topaz eyes are burning with emotions.

“Luke…?” I said in almost a whisper. Without warning Luke goes in a kisses me, right there sitting in the puddle under the falling rain and booms and flashes of light. This kiss was nothing like the kiss he had given me when he walked me home before. I began to kiss him back and this was a passionate and a long kiss. It was almost romantic, if you had a sick sense of romance. As he breathed in, I breathed out, it was long.

When we finally pulled away he looked at me straight in the eyes. “Mallory, I’m in love with you; deeply in love. You’re all I think about, all I dream about. I know that I’ve been an asshole to you lately and I’m so unimaginably sorry about all that. I want to be with you more than I’ve wanted anything in the entire world. I was jealous, and I know that gives me no excuse. I just wanted to be with you again so badly. And what I had just seen, I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if I hadn’t come, I don’t think I can live without you Mallory. I just can’t. Please I hope that you can forgive me for everything that I’ve done, I’m so, so sorry and so, so in love with you.” His arms were still locked around me and mine where still around him. I stared at him, I didn’t say anything, and I didn’t look away. I just stared. He put his forehead against mind, and whispered to me. “I love you Mallory.”

I didn’t say anything, I just lifted his face up again and kissed him again, right there in the mud and pouring rain.