A Second Chance

I went into work the next day, happy, but with a little bit of a cloud hanging around my head. I wanted to love Luke; I knew that for a fact. But could I really do that again after what happened last time? I knew that he was nothing like Evan was, and I wasn’t scared that Luke would take advantage of me, because I knew he wouldn’t. But no matter how sure I was of Luke, I didn’t know if I could cost putting my heart out there again. Though I knew if I did, Luke would be the best caretaker.

I guessed that Luke had told Chase about my episode the previous night, because I didn’t need to explain anything to him. He was obviously happy that I was alive and ok, but I could also tell that he knew that something was off. I wanted to talk about it, but I didn’t want to bring it up.

The night wasn’t busy for a change, and I barely had any work whatsoever. As I waited for a table to serve, I sat down at one of the tables myself and put my head in my hands. I needed time to think, I needed some time to myself. I liked this small town, but I needed to find a smaller place of my own that I could just run off to sometimes. I lifted my head back up, and was shocked to see Chase sitting across from me, leaning on one of his elbows on the table.

“So, uhm, are you going to tell me or do I have to ask?” I played dumb.

“Ask about what?” He took his hand away from his face and sat up straight.

“About the purple unicorn behind you. What do you think Mal? I’m talking about that huge raincloud that’s hanging over your head. Come on, I thought you were happy.” I am happy. So why do I feel so sad? I thought for a moment, but then took a deep breath.

“I’m scared; scared for my heart, for my heart to get hurt again. I’m afraid to love again. Actually, honestly I’m terrified.” Chase leaned out and put one of his hands over mine.

“I know what you’re saying. But, listen to me Mallory. Me and that boy of yours didn’t exactly start off on the right foot. In fact, we didn’t even start off on the left foot. And I in all honesty thought he was kind of a jerk that was controlling and just wanted to get with you. But I was wrong, really wrong. He’s not like that at all; he’s a good guy that really loves you. And I think he proved that last night. Listen, there isn’t one other guy on this island that I would trust to be with you, but Luke, well he proved himself. He isn’t going to hurt you.” I smiled at Chase; he was becoming an expert on making me feel better. “But,” he stopped my thinking. “None of this means anything if you don’t love him back. This boy might wait for you forever, but that won’t stop other girls from waiting for him. And who knows, he may get bored waiting. He needs to know how you feel about him.” My smile had slowly disappeared as he spoke. It only hurt more to know that every word Chase said was right. And in that second, I made up my mind about Luke.

“You’re right Chase. He needs to know. I’m taking off early. Tell them that I’ll work extra some other time to make up for it.” I quickly got out of my seat and took off the apron I wore around. I threw it over the counter and ran out the doors, and quickly jolted my way up to Luke’s house.

On the way to Luke’s house, I passed by the carpentry and saw that Rick was outside, so I knew that he wouldn’t be home and Luke and I could talk as we pleased.

When I got to his house, I almost somewhat banged on his door. When I did I heard Boss inside start to bark up a storm, and I could hear footsteps walking my way. Luke opened the door, and began to smile. But I didn’t waste any time whatsoever. I threw my arms around him and kissed him, very hard and passionately. Luke stumbled back, probably in shock, and closed the door as he put his hands around my waist. I made the kiss long, and I went in deep. It was one of the most passionate kisses I had ever given, or been given in that matter. Once he pulled away, he smiled at me brightly, more bright than I had ever seen him smile.

“Well hello to you too.” He said with a giddy giggle. My arms were draped around his neck; I wanted to be as close to him as possible. I smiled and kissed his cheek lightly. “So, is there a reason you came running to see me, or did you just want an amazing Luke kiss?” He said playfully. I jokingly thought for a moment.

“Hmm, both.” I said as I kissed him once again. I let go, and removed my arms from his neck. I took his hand and led him over to his couch, where we both took our seats. I looked over at him intently, and held his hand.

“Luke, I love you.”

Hey, love was about taking risks.

His eyebrows went up for only a split second before a huge smile came across his face.

“And honestly, I think you’re the only guy I’ve ever loved.”

“But, what about Evan?” I smiled at him so brightly, and I finally knew why. There were no more secrets between us; he knew everything about me and my past. Not only that, but I could finally admit something to myself about Evan, that I’ve known for a while.

“I never loved Evan. When we first started to go out, yeah I liked him. But as time went on, I realized that I didn’t even like him anymore much less love him. I just grew accustomed to putting on a fake smile around him and just doing the motions. In fewer words, I was pretending. But with you, I don’t have to pretend with you. Everything I say and do is how I really feel; everything I am when I’m with you is how I really am. I don’t change around you, I don’t pretend, and just knowing that makes me feel better about us.” He smiled at me, and then kissed me once again.

--

Another month had gone by very quickly, almost too quickly in some cases. Then again, everything has been going by so quickly. Luke and I had been dating for a good month and a half, and he had told me that tonight we would just be having a romantic dinner in, instead of going out to eat like we did quite often. Rumors about us clouded the town, most of which were rumors that I was pregnant, which was completely the opposite; Luke and I had never even had intercourse. Other rumors were that we were planning on running away and getting married. Honestly, the rumors didn’t bother me. I let the people think what they please. Although I would kill to know who started those lies. Though I suppose I would never know.

I pulled back on work, rather than working every night I only work the weekends now, so I have much more time to be with Luke and tend to my farm, which is slowly growing. In the month that passed I bought a chicken, Pedro, which was also tremendously helping with my money income.

I don’t have money problems anymore, I wouldn’t say that I exactly have money to spare but I can buy the essentials needed to live, and it was nice to know that I had actually taken control of my life back.

Luke arrived at my house near eight o’clock, only because his father made him work overtime in the shop, and then he had to go back to his house and clean himself up, which I was alright with. He brought over some of his dad’s homemade sloppy joes for us to eat. It may not have been a romantic food, but it was sweet when Luke would wipe food off my cheek. We sat down at my table and ate them as we mindlessly talked about anything. Since we started dating talking to him grew easier and easier, until I could practically say anything to him.

“Ok, so you want to hear a new rumor I heard today?” Luke took a bite of his sandwich and nodded. “I heard that we were secretly brother and sister, and we were going to fly to Japan and make it big there and be multibillionaires.” I said laughing. Luke chuckled slightly then looked at me.

“That’s not true at all. We’re not related.” I laughed and took the last piece of my sandwich and plopped it into my mouth. “Well, guess what Nick told me today? That apparently we’re just like rabbits and we can’t keep off of each other, and that we do it all the time.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, I hear that one all the time.” Luke chuckled, but then it got silent. The only time that it may get a little awkward between Luke and I is when the topic of sleeping together comes up. It’s not that I never thought about it, I just didn’t know if I was ready to do anything considering that last time I did I was raped. But then again, I trusted Luke.

For the remainder of the night, we simply just laid on the couch together and watched movies. It was sweet and romantic, and I think I dozed off once or twice in his arms. We didn’t even notice how late it had become until it was past two in the morning. Luke nudged me slightly, as I had begun to doze off again. I opened my eyes and looked at him, still a bit tired.

“I think it’s a little past time I go, don’t you think?” He pointed to the clock that hung on my wall. I looked over and saw the time, and straightened myself up on the couch. I rubbed my eyes and looked at Luke, who was starting to get up and put his jacket on. Winter was almost here and it was quite cold out. I watched Luke put his jacket on, his back to me when I noticed a flaming teddy bear on the back of his jacket. I chuckled.

“Nice jacket.” Luke turned his head and looked at me slyly.

“Isn’t it sexy?”

“Oh, yeah.” I said sarcastically. He walked over to me, and bent down to kiss me goodbye. I grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and held him there for a good minute. Once we finally let go of our kiss, I let go of his collar and he began to walk away toward the door. I made a quick decision in my head, and didn’t want to pass it up. “Luke, wait.” He turned around and looked at me; his hand was on the doorknob. “Why don’t you just sleep here? I mean, you don’t have to get up for work in the morning, and judging by the time your dad’s already asleep, and I mean you don’t want to wake him up with the loud sound of the door, do you?” Yes, I was pushing it. But I was also just trying to get him to stay. He looked at me with a skeptical look, but then he looked over at the clock and sighed.

“You are right.” He looked back over at me and smiled. “Slumber party!” He tore off his jacket and ran over and hopped into my bed. I stared at him from where I was on the couch.

“I call the side by the window.” I chuckled to myself.

“Fine, you can have that side.” I got up and walked over to where the light switch and flicked it off. I wandered over to where my bed was and slowly climbed in beside him. As soon as I got in, I didn’t want to waste any time. I snuggled close to him, and slowly began to kiss his neck. He almost immediately got what I was saying, and pushed me off a bit and stared at me.

“Mal…” He didn’t say anything else. I’m not sure if it was because he didn’t know what to say or he was just too shocked to say anything.

“Luke, I don’t want to be scared anymore. I’m not scared anymore. I want to do this, I mean if you do.” I gently and slowly moved my hand under his shirt and gradually moved my hand around his chest. He grabbed onto my wrist, but he didn’t stop me from touching him.

Slowly he inched his body closer to me, as I realized I was subconsciously doing the same.
“Of course I want to,” He was whispering. “But I want to make sure that this is your choice. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you to do anything.” I whispered back to him.

“I don’t feel pressured Luke. I love you, and I want to show my love for you. Besides, this time it’s my choice, and I want it to be with you. Extremely slowly, even slower than I moved, Luke released his grip on my wrist and explored his hands around the bottom of my shirt. Gradually, he began to pull up my shirt higher and higher.

“You’re sure?” He whispered as his lips grew closer to mine.

“Positive.” I breathed as our lips touched. Calmly, he continued to pull up my shirt until my shirt was scrunched up around my arms and neck, and my bra was fully exposed. My hands were lingering up and down his shirt as well, and calmly peeling his shirt away from his skin.

Very gently, Luke began to touch me, though it wasn’t rough and hard like I remember from back home. I almost liked the feeling of sensuality and closeness I was having with him. Eventually he pulled my shirt completely over my head, and I did the same to him. His chest was warm against my cold body. Luke was kissing differently I noticed. It was a calm kiss, but a very deep kiss. Now I’m not saying he was shoving his tongue down my throat, but I could feel his tongue. Eventually we pulled the covers up and the clothes that had remained on our bodies flew onto the floor quickly.

I felt him against me; he had never felt so close to me before. I almost felt like I was a part of him in some weird way. Luke extremely gentle the whole time; he didn’t push anything and was very hesitant. At some points I had to make him do things because he was so cautious.

For obvious reasons, this time was nothing like the last time I had been in bed with someone. Last time was hard and brute and forceful with someone that I didn’t even care about. But this time it was with someone that I loved, and I knew he loved me. This time with Luke in my arms, it was different. It was special, and even almost magical.

Hours later Luke and I just lay together on my bed; his arm was around me and my head was resting on his bare chest. We were both still naked under the covers, but I didn’t want to dare lose this moment in getting up and putting underwear on. His eyes were shut, and I’m sure he was asleep or almost there if not already. His breathing was quiet and calm; I could hear his heart beating though his chest as I lay atop it. I absentmindedly stared out my window at the moon, which was flooding limited light into my bed. I smiled to myself and closed my own eyes. I realized that this was the first time I had ever truly been happy.