A Second Chance

I woke up the next morning in Luke's bed alone. When I first regained my consciousness I looked around confused as to why I was in his bed in the first place. But as my mind slowly put itself back together I remembered the happenings of the previous night, last night; only hours ago. My stomach started to twist into knots just like the web of lies that I had created; again. I sat myself upright though I stayed in bed under the covers. I had no intention of getting up right away; honestly I had no intention of even dealing with myself at the moment.
Luke's door had been cracked open, and from the crack emerged a big furry mass that came running at me and hopped up on the bed and laid beside me. I smiled slightly to myself, and pet Boss lightly on the head.

“Mallory?” I looked up from the dog and saw Rick standing in the doorway. His face was suspicious, like he was wondering why I was in his son's bed. I could feel my cheeks get red and my face get hot.

“Rick, um...” I forced myself to think of the words, but nothing came into my stupid little head. “We didn't do anything last night. I swear.” I sounded like such a little kid again. His face broke out into a warm fatherly smile, and he chuckled to himself.

“Don't fret. I know, I believe you. I told Luke that you could sleep here any time you wanted to, because I know you're a good kid, and you won't do anything that you're not comfortable with.” I looked away and grimaced to myself, then looked back. “Either way, I came to tell you that there's breakfast downstairs on the table if you're hungry. But Luke cooked it, so if you do eat, I implore you, watch yourself.” He laughed to himself again; I threw him a small smile, though Luke was the last thing I wanted to think about.

“Thank you, but I'm not really hungry right now.” I pet Boss slowly again, though Rick stood at the doorway still. I wasn't looking at him, but I knew his smile went away and he was thinking to himself.

“Mallory, are you alright?” Why does everyone keep asking me that lately? Is it really that obvious I’m a wreck? He pushed the door open and walked inside some. I never felt all that close to Rick, but I knew that he was a good listener. He came and sat at the edge of the bed. “You can tell me anything.” In that moment, I looked up at him, but not as Luke's father, as my father.

“What do you do, when the truth would kill someone, but a lie would only put them into a state of fake happiness?” Even though he was Luke's dad, and I knew there was a pretty good chance that they would speak about it, I felt completely comfortable talking to Rick. He looked away from me and sighed to himself.

“You do the right thing.”

“How do you know what the right thing is, when you're surrounded by all the wrong things?” He looked back over at me, and gave me a very loving fatherly look.

“You just know. And I'm not sure what you're talking about Mallory, but I know that you do know the right thing to do. You're just scared to do it.” I hated the fact that he was right and didn’t even know it. “And either way, I'm sure that this wrong can't go unnoticed for long.” I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I looked at him, much like a daughter would. He was right on the money with that one.

“Thanks Rick.” He reached out and placed a hand over mine.

“Not a problem lass. Luke told me about your parents, and I want you to know, that anytime you want to talk, I'll always be here for you. Just like Luke will.” I smiled at him.

“Thank you so much. That means a lot.” He smiled at me and also then got himself up and walked out of the room. Boss followed quickly behind him. Each and every one of Rick's words floated around my head, but they just refused to actually sink in.

Today was Sunday, meaning that the bar was closed today, so I didn't have to go into work tonight. After I told Luke that I had off tonight he told me that I and he would go out on a date, something we hadn't done in a long time.

“I'm going to knock you off your feet again, just like I did the first time we went out to the waterfall.” I chuckled as we walked hand in hand in the slowly falling snow.

“Knocked me off my feet? You didn't even need to push me, I had already been falling.” He looked over at me in the oncoming moonlight with a smile. I was speaking truthfully, but I felt like I was still drowning in all the lies. And each time I looked over at his cute, bright smiling face, I only felt worse.

We came to the waterfall; the same waterfall that we had first really connected at in the beginning, and we sat down at the same spot that we did on that night before. Though now since it was so cold, the fireflies were absent, and the ground was covered in snow, but the lake and waterfall still looked as amazing as the first night that I had been here.

“Oh I know you had already fallen. Because I caught you, remember? When we first met?” I smiled to myself thinking back to the best day of my life.

“Oh I remember. And I'm so happy that you caught me, because if you hadn't I would have smashed my face into the dirt. And that would not have felt good.” He laughed for a minute, then pulled me closer and put his arm around me.

“You know, when I first met you, I never thought that I would love you this much.” When I first met you I never thought I would lie to you this much...

“I feel the same way.” I wasn't lying as I said it. I do love Luke, so much. And I want to believe that's why I lie to him so much, because I love him too much to hurt him with the truth, though I know that isn’t exactly the best excuse.

He started to kiss my neck, he started to suck on it, and I could feel myself starting to get aroused. I didn't want to do anything with him right now though, I knew that if I slept with him again, all my feelings would get all smashed around again and then I would never want to tell him the truth.

I pushed him away from me slightly, and he stopped and looked at me. Before he could fill his own head with any thoughts, I figured that I should clear up why I pushed him away.
“Since we last did it, I don't think I'm ready to do it again.” If I hadn't had a past filled with rape, I don't think he would have taken it as well as he did. He nodded at me understandingly.

“Ok. We don't have to do anything.” He smiled at me.

“You really are amazing Luke.” He kissed my forehead.

“Not nearly as amazing as you.” I felt pieces of my heart break off as I sat there in the arms of the boy I loved, and the boy I was lying to.

Luke walked me back to my house as he held my hand. Aside from what happened, it was just a normal night for us. We talked, we laughed, and we smiled. We enjoyed each other’s company, just as we always do.

When we got in front of my house, he took both of my hands in his, and looked deep in my eyes. “Mal, I love you with all I have. You are the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful person I have ever met. I know I'm young, only 20, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I felt butterflies form in my stomach. He smiled slightly. “Now, I'm not necessarily proposing right now because I have no ring, but I'm telling you that I want you to be the one I marry. The one I raise a family with. I just want it to be with you.” I was speechless, I couldn't think of anything to say. “You don't have to say anything Mal. I just thought that you should know how I feel. I love you.” He bent down and kissed me lightly. “Goodnight.” He turned and walked away, and I was left standing on my front step alone with his words and my guilt.

I turned to walk inside, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around spooked, and saw that Chase was standing behind me. I sighed a sigh of relief then looked at him like I was scolding him.

“You know I hate being surprised.” His humor was gone.

“I need to talk to you. Can I come in?” Even though he asked me, he opened the door before I did and walked inside.

“Sure.” I said sarcastically as I too walked inside. He sat down on my bed, while I went to my kitchen and made myself a cup of hot chocolate. “Want any?” I asked when he stayed awkwardly quiet. He shook his head slowly, though he wouldn't look at me. I walked over to where he was on my bed and sat down beside him, and I set my cup of chocolate down on my nightstand.

“So, uhm, you wanted to talk?” He turned toward me.

“Tell me the truth.” I raised one brow at him and started at him confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“The truth. I heard from Luke that you're not pregnant. But for some reason I don't believe that. Now tell me truthfully, are you carrying a baby at this moment right now?” I grew quiet and I wouldn't look at him. But I could feel his eyes on me, and knowing better than to lie to two people, I nodded my head slowly. He got up from where he sat and began to walk around. “And are you ever going to tell Luke?” Suddenly, I felt hate. I felt anger. There he went again, acting and talking to me like I was a little kid. I stood up and looked at him.

“Yes, I'm going to tell him.”

“When?”

“I don't know but I will. Chase, I'm not a little girl, you don't have to stand up and try to protect me. I can stand on my own thank you very much.” I said sternly. Chase looked over at me with a glare in his eyes.

“Really? Are you going to be able to stand on your own when you have a baby and Luke is nowhere to be found? Are you really going to be able to handle taking care of a child while you raise a farm, try to make money and have your own life? Mallory I'm trying to be a good friend here, I actually care about you.” My eyes glared daggers at him.

“You actually care about me? As if you're trying to say that he doesn't? I know he does Chase. I know he freaking does. I have no idea if you heard any of what he said to me before you showed up but he told me that he wants to marry me. And if that's not caring about someone, I don't know what the hell is!”

“I didn't come here to fight with you Mallory.”

“And I didn't let you in to put me down. Oh wait, I didn't let you in at all.” I took a moment and grabbed a deep breath; I looked away from him and walked over to my window. I could hear that he took a breath too. The floorboards warned me of his walking closer to me.

“Mal, I really don't want to fight with you. Actually, I came to tell you that, if Luke isn't around to help you with the baby, I will be.” I felt my anger slowly drain away, and I looked over to him.

“I'm not saying that Luke won't be there, I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that I will be whenever you need me. Mallory, I don't even think you know how much I care about you.” I didn't know if it was my hormones acting up or not, but I began to tear, and before I even realized I was tearing, I was crying full on. Chase pulled me into his embrace, like he had that first night on the beach, when I needed to know that someone cared about me.

“I've gotten myself so tangled up again, haven't I?” I said as I cried slightly into his shirt. He lifted my chin up so I could look at his face.

“I'll always be here to untangle you.” For a second, I forgot everything. His words, they were so genuine, so sweet. And when I say I forgot everything, I really forgot everything.

I had no idea what it was, maybe just the gravitational pull messing with my head, but I felt something pulling me closer to him. So close, until our lips touched. But the moment they did, my second of forgetting everything turned into a minute. All I knew in that minute was that I was kissing Chase, and that's all I wanted to know, until I remembered that only inches below, Luke's child was growing in my stomach.

Once realizing what I was doing, and remembering everything and everyone else, I pulled myself away quickly. I walked away, over back to my bed. I held my fingers on my lips, as if I was trying to take the kiss back. I looked over at him, with an annoyed yet apologetic face.
“Chase...” I lost my words after his name. He scratched the back of his neck.

“That was another reason I came over...Mallory, I'm kinda in love with you.”