Status: Sorry I haven't been posting again.... I'm hoping in the next 2 weeks to have time to get one out!

Take My Hand, Just Hold On

Chapter 16 - Loss of Innocence

James and I have been dating for about a month now, bringing us into mid April. The weather is getting warmer, tourists are starting to arrive, and the women... Are wearing shorter skirts. I'd like to say something is wrong with this city, but who am I to judge?

So, currently, I am sitting on my couch with James, and we're watching some lame movie he picked out - I don't know what it is called, but it's about an 'under-dog' football team. Okay, I'll admit it, I hate sports movies. More than I hate the actual sports they are about. Oh well.

Just as that thought ended, my phone buzzes in my pocket, so I fish it out and flip it open

Robert: Hey, what's up?

Me: Not much, watching a lame movie with James.

Robert: Like a ha-ha lame movie, or just plain bad?

Me: Second one :P

"Who are you texting?" James inquires, looking over my shoulder.

"A friend," I respond, trying to evade giving him a positive identification. He has a pretty big problem with me still talking to Robert.

"'A friend'? By that, I assume you mean Robert?" he says his name with venom.

I sigh, I don't want to have to lie to him, "Yeah, I mean Robert."

"Brenna, I've already told you I don't want you talking to him anymore. Can't you respect that?"

"No, I'm sorry, I can't!" I respond, getting heated. I've never been a fan of being told what to do, especially not by someone who I'm just getting to know, and so I told him. "I hate that you're trying to tell me who I can and cannot speak with!"

"I just don't trust this guy-"

"-Excuse me?! You don't trust him? He lives like 2000 kilometres away! What the fuck is he going to do?"

"Well, he-"

"No, wait a moment," I cut him off again. I feel my cell buzzing in my lap, but ignore it, "Even if he did live here, it's not like you have some kind of hold on me! We're just dating. It's nothing serious yet, and you honestly have no right to tell me what to do!"

"What are you talking about? We've been dating for over a month now, has that meant nothing to you? I've respected you thus far. We haven't done anything, and that was your choice. If I had my way, it would've happened a long time ago!"

I put my hand to my temple, "How has this conversation suddenly turned to the topic of sex? Is that all this has meant to you, you just wanted a good lay?"

"That's not all I wanted, no. But it's what I would've liked by now, yeah."

I stand up, letting my phone fall to the floor. I walk to my door and open it. "Get out, now."

He walks over to me, "And if I refuse?"

"You can't just refuse. This is my apartment, I will not have you telling me who to speak to, telling me all you basically want from me right now is sex, and just being an asshole in general!" I point to the hallway, showing him the way to exit.

He grabs my wrist, forcing my hand off the door handle, letting the door close.

I look up at him and shake my head, "You need to leave, James," I say as forcefully as I could. Truth be told, I was getting a little nervous at the gleam in his eyes, and the tight hold he still had on my wrist. "Scratch that," I say, losing the force in my voice, "You need to let my wrist go."

He let out a harsh laugh and grabbed my other wrist, forcing my back against the door I was trying to get him out of. "Please James, just go," I start pleading. I was getting scared. I couldn't imagine he was capable of doing anything too bad, but how well did I really know this guy?

Before I knew what was happening, his lips were at my neck, kissing and biting roughly. "James! Stop this, now!" I half-screamed, unsure at what was even happening here.

He raises his head and looks in my eyes. "I dated you because I wanted one thing from you. I sat through countless hours talking with you, and I hardly get a good make out session with you. Before you throw me out, I am getting what I want, Brenna."

I just stare at him. He can't possibly be serious? This could not be happening to me. Not now. Not ever. This shit happens in Law and Order: SVU, it doesn't happen in real life. Not in my life... I tried to speak, to shout, to scream... To do anything, really. But nothing came out.

He starts to smirk at the sight of my obvious fear. My hands are starting to go numb from his tight grip, my eyes are brimming with tears, and my mind is just running in circles. I can't think of a way to get out of this situation. And I still don't believe it will happen. James isn't this bad of a guy, he won't go through with this.

Suddenly he was at my neck again, had my hands pinned with one of his, and his other hand was unbuttoning my blouse quickly. He soon had my shirt open and moved his lips lower on my body, bringing my hands down with him. I was frozen solid. I don't even flinch. It seems like the numbness in my hands has spread through my entire body, I can just barely feel his lips now on my breast, his free hand undoing the clasp on my bra...

He lets go of my hands, they drop to my side. I wonder what he's doing, is he letting me go? Could my escape be that simple? Oh please, let it be...

I bring my hands up to his shoulders to push him off me, but he stays strong. "James," I struggle to get his name out of my mouth, "You really need to stop this, I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted, but this isn't any way to get it."

I hear a chuckle, and he again brings his head up and looks me directly in the eyes, "Brenna, I'm going to get what I want. I always get what I want. You can't tease me with this body all the time, and not expect me to take it."

"Y-Y-You can't just t-t-take somebody's body!" I exclaim, my voice wavering at the thought.

"I plan on it. And you are going to be good about this, or I will have to do something I really don't want to to your gorgeous face, my dear."

"Please, just go."

He shakes his head, and moves his hands to my ass, grabbing around for the zipper on my skirt. He undoes the zipper and my skirt and panties are down in a flash. I feel him fiddling with his pants, and I figure if there is a time to get away, it's coming to a close very soon. Thinking the only thing I can do is to kick him in the balls, I start to bring my knee up as quickly as a skirt around the ankles will allow.

Not quick enough. His hand comes down on my rising knee and pushes my foot back to the floor. "Uh, uh. You don't want me to bang up that pretty face, not to say anything about your even sexier body."

I roll my eyes, tears running down my face. His pants are down. Mine are down. I'm positive if I try to hurt him, he would hurt me much worse - believe me, he is a pretty big guy.

"Don't, James! Please!" I give begging one last chance.


My life is over.

It will never be the same again.

Everything is ruined forever.

He's inside me now. All I get are flashes of a thought and a constant mutter of "No, no, no, no, no..." as I am slammed into my door with each thrust of his.

"That's right, beg me to stop, bitch," he says loudly in my ear. He wants me to beg him to stop? Tears are flowing down my face like never before. I just want him to stop. To finish. And leave me here.

All alone.

A few minutes later, I get my wish. As, with one final thrust, he finishes and pulls out.

"And that, is what I came for," he mutters, pulling his pants up, grabbing his jacket off my hanger, and walking out the door.

Just like that. He walks out. Leaving me in a crumpled ball on my floor. There are no more tears. Utter shock has set in. No words can describe how I feel right at this moment...
♠ ♠ ♠
Song: Is not called "Loss of Innocence"! The actual song that goes with this is Bach's Piano Concerto in A Minor - which doesn't make for a good title, eh?

Sorry again for the absence, but I got one up in time for the holidays! And, guess what! I'm probably getting laid off in the next few weeks, so maybe I will be able to write more?
Also, sorry for the chapter. I really wanted to set aside a time where I could sit down and write this chapter really well, but that time never really came. I have honestly been so busy with work and Christmas shopping and cancer benefits (a friend's nephew just got leukemia, so we've been trying to do shit for him), and, well, you know how life goes, right?!\
Anyway, I'm really glad this chapter is finally over with, I've been dreading writing it for aaaages now, so... yay!
Thanks for reading. Please comment, I'd really appreciate it. Subscribe if you like the story :D
And happy holidays, and new year if I don't see you before then!