Take My Hand, Just Hold On

I kept an eye on the clock for the rest of the afternoon, and at 3:15 I turned to my parents. “Uhm, I just wanted to remind you to not say anything to Britt, okay?”

They exchange glances and then nod, “Of course, Brenna. We don’t see why she’d need to know either,” my mum replies.

“Thanks,” I respond. I was banking on the fact that my sister will be so excited to meet Robert Pattinson that she wouldn’t be able to tell anything was wrong.

“Before your sister gets here, Brenna, I just have to ask…” my dad starts, and I look at him.

“Douglas, please don’t. I don’t want to discuss this further,” my mum says in a warning tone. I can’t blame her; if it’s about my being raped I don’t want to discuss it either.

“She, I have to ask,” he tells her. “I was wondering if you went to the police about it?” He asks, turning back to me.

I nod, “I have. He’s going to jail, dad.”

He sighed and ran his hands through his thinning hair, “Thank god,” he says, barely audible.

“Now we can stop talking about it?” I ask.

He nods, “Of course. But I just want you to know if you need to talk about it, I’m here sweetie.”

I felt my eyes burning with tears at his words. I gulped down the lump in my throat and just nodded in thanks.

At that moment we heard the door open and my sister yelled, “Brenna! Where you at?”

I allowed myself a smile and got up, making my way to the front door, “Right here little one!” I responded as I rounded the corner.

I saw her face fall in to a mock scowl, “How old will I have to get before you stop calling me that?” she asks.

I laugh a little, “Older than me.”

“Oh fine,” she laughs too. “Well! Give me a hug already!”

We take a short hug and as I pull away I smile, “I’ve got such a good present for you, Britt. You’re going to love me for forever.”

Her eyebrows shoot up in excitement, “You won the lottery and bought me a car?”

I rolled my eyes, “I think it might be better than a car. Here, close your eyes and follow me.”

She obliges and I take her hand, leading her into the living room. I put my finger to my lips, asking my parents and Robert to stay quiet. I tell my sister to wait with her eyes closed while I go grab Robert and get him to stand in front of her. Then I take my sister’s and Robert’s hands and get them to hold hands, avoiding the gaze I can feel I'm getting from Robert.

I watch as my sister’s brow furrows, “You got me a mail-order husband?”

I laugh and say, “You can open your eyes now!”

She does and her face blanches. She drops Robert’s hand and looks at me, her eyes bugging. I let out another laugh, “Robert, my sister Brittany – Britt, Robert Pattinson!” I introduce.

Robert smiles, “Nice to meet you Brittany – or do you prefer Britt?”

My sister blew out a long breath – something the ladies in my family all do to try to calm ourselves – and said, “Britt’s great. Uhm, it’s nice to meet you, too. I – Why are you – How do you…?” my sister starts, possibly unsure what to say.

“Robert and I met back in L.A, and now he’s out here to shoot the last Twilight movie, so I thought I’d bring him by to meet you,” I interject, to save her from trying to form a coherent sentence.



After we all went to bed that night I found myself unable to sleep again – surprise, surprise! It wasn’t so much that I wasn’t able to, more that I was afraid to sleep at this point. Afraid to even close my eyes because all I would see was James’ face and flashes of the things he did to me.

As the clock struck 1:30 I got fed up and made my way downstairs to get a glass of water, muttering to myself about how stupid this is, I am, life is… Basically I can sum it up in two words: Fuck this.

As I reach my room, I look one door down and hesitate. Maybe I could go in there? It’d be selfish of me – something about knowing Robert is nearby is somehow comforting though. I may flinch every time he touches me, but I’ve only ever been able to sleep when he’s around. But, I’m pretty sure he can’t sleep when I’m there. What, with my stupid fucking flash-rape-dreams and freak-outs.

Just as I resign myself to my room for the night, his door opens, “Hey,” he whispers.

I give a half-smile, “Hey yourself.” I take a few more steps until I’m outside his door.

He opens his door the rest of the way and points to the glass of water in my hand, “Had the same idea as you.” I take in his attire: Boxers, no shirt.

I take a quick sip and offer him the glass, “I was just grabbing it to do something, I’m not actually thirsty.”

His mouth twitches into a slight frown as he takes the glass from me, “Thanks. You can’t sleep then?”

“Is that a surprise?”

“Not really,” he pauses, “Not that it would help, but you’re free to come stay with me if you want some company.” My heart skips a quick beat and it makes me frown slightly. “You don’t have to, I was just offering,” he says, having noticed my frown.

I let my lips form a small smile and say, “Not what I was frowning about, sorry. I mean, I would like to… But you probably need some rest; I don’t want to put you out.”

He moves aside and opens his door further, “Come in, no inconvenience at all Brenna.”