Status: Sorry I haven't been posting again.... I'm hoping in the next 2 weeks to have time to get one out!

Take My Hand, Just Hold On

Chapter 33: Near To You

“Burgers and chips,” Robert smiles as I let him in my apartment on Friday.

“Cheers,” I say in thanks as I take one of the bags from him. I lock the door back up and walk to the kitchen to grab a couple plates.

“So, you never really told me about therapy?” he questions as we take our seats on the couch and spread out the food.

I shrug as I dip a fry in ketchup, “It went okay, actually. I made an appointment for next week.”

I turn my head to look at him as he smiles and responds with a simple, “Good.”

“She gave me a prescription for sleeping pills. I tried them, but they just made it harder for me to wake up from the dreams. And when I finally did wake up, I couldn’t stay awake. So I think I’ll just stop taking them,” I tell him. Just for something to fill the silence.

“Do you not think that it’s better that you get some sleep rather than no sleep, though?”

“I tend to be more tired from an uneasy sleep than I am from a relaxed night awake,” I explain.

“Hmm. I guess that explains the suitcases under your eyes,” he jokes.

I look at him, trying to figure out the suitcase reference. Maybe I’m slow, “Suitcases?”

“Giant bags?” he prods.

I let out a small laugh, “I’ve never heard that before.”
***


Later that night, after two movies, my eyes were drowsy and all I wanted was a nice, uninterrupted sleep.

“Do you want me to leave?” Robert asks, already getting off the couch.

I sit up – as I was laying on my side – and shrug, “If you want to, feel free.”

“I could stay… It’s just – you looked like you were about to fall asleep,” he explains.

I mumble incoherently, I don’t think I actually had a response. I was about to fall asleep, and I’m not sure why. I mean, of course I was tired, but I’m usually on edge when people are around. I guess I was just relaxed around Robert. Which is good, but confusing?

I stick out my hand and feel his connect with it a moment later. I pull myself up and look at his face as he still holds my hand. His bright eyes look into mine for just an instant until I break the gaze and look to the floor, “Er, my hand?” I say awkwardly.

He lets his thumb brush lightly over the back of my hand before letting it go slowly, “Sorry.”

I grab our plates from the coffee table and bring them to the kitchen. I dump the remainder of my burger in the garbage and put the plates in the dishwasher.

“Where did we land on me leaving?” Robert questions in a sardonic tone.

I look at him briefly. If I asked him what I wanted to ask, I don’t know how he’d take it. I’m not even sure how I’d mean it, so I can’t guess what he’d think. Just ask and see what he says. You again? I ask myself. Oh god, I’m going crazy again. Oh well, best to follow the inner voice, right? “I was thinking maybe you could stay the night again?” I ask. Before he could respond, I add, “It’s just that last time you stayed over, I actually slept. Successfully. The whole night. You know?”

A small smile creeps on his lips as my explanation continued, “I’d love to, Brenna.”

I blew out the remains of my breath, relieved for the lack of questions that I’m sure I couldn’t answer.

“You want me on the couch?”

Okay, now I’m just asking too much of him, “Well… Maybe just lay with me on the bed. We can watch another movie, and then once I fall asleep you can just… Shimmy on out to the couch?”

He laughs but responds with a, “Sounds good,” and a smile.

I give a happy sort of pout, “Thank-you.”

***


“Brenna, come on. Wake up,” is the first thing I hear as I jolt awake in the almost complete darkness. I turn the light on and see Robert standing over me.

“Fuck,” is all I manage, as I recall the images I’d just seen and realize I must have just been having a nightmare.

“Are you alright?”

I close my eyes and shake my head softly. “Sorry, Robert. You should go back to bed.”

“Slide over, I can sit with you and talk for a bit. Maybe you can get back to sleep in a bit,” he suggests.

I comply and move to the other side of the bed. Robert moves the pillow against the wall and sits against it. “What time is it?” I ask, as Robert is now on the side with the clock.

“2:30.”

***


I don’t know when it happened, but I must have eventually got to sleep because I’ve just woken up to Robert’s hand tangled in my hair. I sit up slightly and look over at him. He’s still sat up against the wall, leaning slightly toward me with his arm outstretched. The last thing I remember last night was chatting about our old pets, just whiling away the night.

His hand falls down to my neck as I sit up further and I place mine over his. I give it a light squeeze and say, “Wake up, Robert.”

As I bring his hand away from my body his eyes flutter open and he looks around. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I was just going to try staying in here for just a bit after you fell asleep.”

“It’s okay, Robert. Apparently you’re my sleeping pill.”

He laughs, “Well, you’re free to take me whenever you need, love.”

Love. My heart skipped a quick beat and I couldn’t figure out why. He used to say that when we were dating, and it would cause the same reaction. But this is a different situation. Completely. We’re just friends now – and barely that. Even if I wanted more, or eventually wanted more, it would never happen. Not after what he’s seen and knows of me. So, I look down at my chest and scold it silently.
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Song: Near To You by A Fine Frenzy... The song is actually about an ex, but I guess the 'he' I'm relating it to is James ;) It's a good song, I think that if you try to think about it in terms of the story it works. Either way, listen to it. I adore her voice :D

Notes: Okay, I was just wondering if everyone (anyone) liked when to story switches to Robert's point of view? I personally kind of like it because it's slightly different to write. And I was going to have a few more coming up, but I don't want to do it if there are people who don't like it. So let me know in the comments or message me, whichever you prefer.
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